argument45 求拍！！！

yybeatgreUID：2967373

题目：ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
字数：464          用时：00:29:20          日期：2011-3-21 PM 03:39:19

In this argument, the author advocates that the number of arctic deer has declined owing to the fact they can't follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. To support this advocacy, the author points out that the large amount of the sea ice had melted result from the global warming trends. In addition, the author also reasons that the local hunters reported that deer's total number has decreased in fact. Careful examination of these supporting facts, however, reveals that none of them led to a credible support about the author's assertion.

To begin with, the argument is based on an assumption that the number of the deer has declined as the local hunters report. Unfortunately, insufficient evidence is supplied by the author to substantiate this assumption. Hence, it is entirely possible that the assertion of the local hunters is not accurately, due to the fact that the deer may migrate to another place where may be more suitable and comfortable for them to live, or perhaps they can recognize the hunters and avoid them on purpose. It is also possible that the method which the local hunters used to observer and calculate the number of the deer is somewhat unsuitable give rise to the false conclusion that the deer's number has declined. Failing address these possibilities further weaken this argument.

Secondly, evidence offered by the author which used to prove the fact that the sea ice has disappeared in the area where the arctic deer inhabit is insufficient. As a matter of fact, whether the global warming trends is strong enough to cause the sea ice to melt is a uncertain question. It is highly possible that the sea ice in the deer's home still exist, and the global warming might not influence the deer's live as the author assert in this argument. Since the author fails to take account to these possible reasons, this assertion mentioned above is open to doubt.

Last but not least, even assumed that the total number of the arctic deer has really decreased, the argument also establish a unwarranted cause relationship between the decline and the global warming trends to such an extent that none of such relevant evidence are supplied by the author. Lacking firm support, it is likely that we can attribute the declining of deer to the local hunters' widely hunt. Similarly, perhaps the deer have suffered a severe epidemic disease. If so, it turns out that the whole number of this animal will undoubtedly decrease. Without excluding these possible explanations, the author can't make the whole argument persuasive.

In sum, this argument really suffers so many logical flaws as it stands, therefore the author's conclusion is obviously dubious. To strengthen it, the author should persuade us that not only the number of arctic deer has decreased unquestionable, but also the sea ice is influenced by the global warming trends. What's more, some relevant evidence should be also provided by the author to prove the cause relationship referred above is above impeachable.

yybeatgreUID：2967373

求指点。。。

wxl19880614UID：2876780

我想知道你30分钟内敲460多是随机抽题还是提前列过提纲的?我在抽题考的时间内..300是极限了..怎么办..很紧张啊.我尽量保持模考都抽题

yybeatgreUID：2967373

3# wxl19880614
我现在还是在练高频，题目之前读过，所以多少都是有点儿印象的。
我Argument的速度也很成问题。。。我本身看东西就不快。。。所以我觉得考前还是最好把题库过两遍吧。。。这样能节省读题的时间。。。
你哪天考？

蒲若苇UID：2669670

1.你没在word里改过吧？我粘贴到word上一片红线错误标记，发帖之前最好自改过至少2遍，一些简单的拼写及语法错误自改的同时也是对以后写作时提个醒。
2.英文写作中，标点符号后面要加空格再打下一句话，你文中的逗号，句号后面都是没有空格直接跟单词，肯定是错误的。这个一定要改。
3.你改完后再PM我一声，我改你的文。

加油！

蒲若苇UID：2669670

顺便再这里回答你的2个问题：
（1）

还有就是A的时间总是感觉很紧

那还是因为练的不够，一个是打字速度不够快，一个是题库不够熟练，提纲在脑海中还没形成看见题目就出提纲的条件反射性，还是多练多练，掌握好论述的方法。
（2）

还有个问题，A攻击的时候一定要按照文中错误出现的顺序吗？

当然不用，最好是按逻辑错误的轻重，最主要的错误最先写且要详细深入的写，次要点的可以往后写，但也一定要写的深入，泛泛的写2个错误不如深入的写1个错误，Argu考的就是你的逻辑思维而不是简单的找错题

蒲若苇UID：2669670

错误：红色 修改评价：紫色 亮点：橙色   题目分析：蓝色

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"【Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining.】(事实) 【Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.】(推论)"




In this argument, the author advocates that the number of arctic deer has declined owing to the fact they can't follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. To support this advocacy, the author points out that (1) the large amount of the sea ice had melted result from the global warming trends. In addition, the author also reasons that (2) the local hunters reported that deer's total number has decreased in fact. Careful examination of these supporting facts, however, reveals that none of them led to a credible support about the author's assertion.
(首段写的不错，把原题的错误点(1)(2)都列出来了，但注意顺序问题，先列(2)鹿的数减少，再列(1)人们开始找原因觉得是global warming，逻辑稍微有点乱)

To begin with, the argument is based on an assumption that the number of the deer has declined as the local hunters report. Unfortunately, insufficient evidence is supplied by the author to substantiate this assumption. Hence, it is entirely possible that the assertion of the local hunters is not accurately (accurate), due to the fact (你下面说的是2种possibility，不能称之为fact) that the deer may migrate to another place where may be more suitable and comfortable for them to live, or perhaps they can recognize the hunters and avoid them on purpose. It is also possible that the method which the local hunters used to observer and calculate the number of the deer is somewhat unsuitable, which gives rise to the false conclusion that the deer's number has declined. Failing address these possibilities further weaken this argument.
(这段写的很不错，3种可能性一下子就把原题中关于reports from local hunters的错误点攻击了！)

Secondly, evidence offered by the author which used to prove the fact that the sea ice has disappeared in the area where the arctic deer inhabit is insufficient. As a matter of fact, whether the global warming trends is (are) strong enough to cause the sea ice in arctic deer’s habitat (对这里的sea ice加上限定语：global warming导致冰融化原题是以recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt这样一个定语从句给出的，说明这是一个事实，你要反驳的应该是global warming不一定导致鹿的栖息地的冰融化，这样在逻辑上比较顺) to melt is a (an) uncertain question (issue). It is highly possible that the sea ice in the deer's home still exist, and the global warming might not influence the deer's live as the author asserts in this argument. (攻击得还不够深入，可以接着展开： global warming是不是在这个地区存在呢？即使存在，global warming可能没能导致这里的冰融化的原因是什么呢？即使冰化了，但只是一部分化了，一定就能影响到鹿的迁徙了吗？这些都可以展开写，使这段的论述更到位) Since the author fails to take account to these possible reasons, this assertion mentioned above is open to doubt.
(攻击点找对了，但与上一段相比，攻击的深度上就差远了，只是简单说了与原题相悖的一种可能，却没有层层有力度的反驳，这段显得比较单薄，多问“为什么”，多列举“可能性”，这些可能性是如何与原文的推论相悖的，掌握这种反驳原题逻辑链的方法，Argu就能写的很好了)

Last but not least, even assumed (assuming) that the total number of the arctic deer has really decreased, the argument also establish a unwarranted cause relationship between the decline and the global warming trends to such an extent that none of such relevant evidence are supplied by the author. (这句不错！点出原题最大的一个逻辑漏洞) Lacking firm support, it is likely that we can attribute the declining of deer to the local (1) hunters' widely hunt. Similarly, perhaps the deer have suffered (2) a severe epidemic disease. (和上一段同样的问题，论述不深入。Argu主要就是让你说明为什么错，而不是找错，你找错找的很好，首句的总结也很好，但分析的内容竟然还不如这段的Top sentence长？(1)(2)的这两种可能提的不错，但还可以写的更深入些，(1)为什么hunters狩猎比之前厉害？(2)怎么会产生这种disease?把这两个问题的原因在列举可能性的时候也写进去，会让人觉得你的这种可能性更有可能发生，而原题中的推理比你的推理要可笑的多) If so, it turns out that the whole number of this animal will undoubtedly decrease. Without excluding these possible explanations, the author can't make the whole argument persuasive.

In sum, this argument really suffers so many logical flaws as it stands, therefore the author's conclusion is obviously dubious. To strengthen it, the author should persuade us that not only the number of arctic deer has decreased unquestionable, but also the sea ice is influenced by the global warming trends. What's more, some relevant evidence should be also provided by the author to prove the cause relationship referred above is above impeachable. (尾段的总结还不错，这段较简单，就不说了)

小结：
作者的总结能力很好，错误点找的很准，分析的也不错，知道通过举例possibility来反驳原题，要注意的就是：反驳的时候要尽量的深入，不要只是“点到为止”，要让人读后觉得你写的这种可能比原题的推论要靠谱得多，这就达到了argu的目的了。注意到这一点，作者的argu就很好了，第二段写的很不错！

加油加油哦！