作业帖

zerrUID: 3006555

a+i 都有了，省得麻烦……

zerrUID: 3006555

138-"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 630          TIME: unlimited         DATE: 2011-2-25

Are mistakes the only acess to the discover or progress? The speaker claims so. At fisrt glance, it seems correct because so many masters have made some mistakes. However, after some deep thought, I have to doubt whether it is the only methord that mistake is to be discovery or progress. I concede that history is replete with the examples that one created a new theory or invented a new machine by correct other’s or his own faults. Yet it mainly happens in the area of science and technology. When it comes to the area of art, such as architecture, music, and painting, I argue that it is unnecessary to make mistakes to make progresses or discoveries.

Admittedly, as I say above, in the area of science and technology, mistakes are important to researchers. As we all know, modern research is on the base of experiment or practice, that means researchers will make a step forword after solving a problem, and finally achieve success in this way. Obviously, the reason why mistakes are so important in this area is that the law of nature is too hard to discover. As a result, only by making mistakes and modifying views can researchers effectively find out the right way to their goals. On the contrary, it is hard to believe that one can make a great progress without a mistake, even he is a talent like Newton. And I think the only way to avoid mistakes is to do nothing. To be concrete, research is just like to find a right way to someplace which is your destination, yet there is no way in front of you. So the only method left for you is to try every possible direction to reach your destination. Consequentially, the process of trying is no doubt full of faults or error.

However, in the area of architecture, progress does not means the result of wrong ideas. Maybe someone will claim that the style of building is changing, which is a good example to demonstrate that the progress is coming from mistakes. First of all, I have to define mistake as a result that is completely wrong and can not be adopted. Clearly, even the style is changing, the old building can still be used and unnecessary to be damaged, which is not the consequence of mistake. So I can argue that progress is coming from amendment, instead of mistakes.

In addition, in the area of music and painting, discovery and progress is just the different expressions of artists’ feelings to the environments or objectiveness around them. Maybe they will show their genius with different methods or in different styles, which is depend on the need and the skills they have. Nevertheless you can not prove any method or style is mistake. In this point, to be simple and concrete, both Beethoven and John Lennon are all great masters. You can not deny the value of Beethoven’s classical works because of the development of music, even if you like popular music. On the other hand, I guess that some arguer will point out that the discovery of some talents is still through mistakes, such as Van Gogh, whose paintings are valuated by mistake. Nonetheless, there are not so many pitiable masters whose works are neglected. Oppositely, many artists are famous in their times because of their classics, such as Haydn,Mozart, Da Vinci, Pablo Picasso and so forth. So apparently, mistakes are not the only acess to discovery.

From the analysis above, it is clear that even though in some areas, such as physics, mistakes are the important acessees to development, it is not the only way in all areas. Nevertheless, no matter what area we are in, I strongly argue that we should avoid the dispensable mistakes.

zerrUID: 3006555

188.A new report suggests that men and women experience pain very differently from one another, and that doctors should consider these differences when prescribing pain medications. When researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opioids — a painkiller — to 28 men and 20 women who were having their wisdom teeth extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men, and the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. This research suggests that kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever pain medication is required, whereas men should be given other kinds of pain medication. In addition, researchers should reevaluate the effects of all medications on men versus women.

WORDS: 588          TIME: unlimited         DATE: 2011-2-28
In this argument, the speaker concludes that kappa opiods, a painkiller, should be prescribed for women no matter when pain medication is needed, while men shoud be given other kinds of pain medication. What’s more, the speaker also alleges that all medications should be reevaluated on men versus women. To support the conclusion, the speaker points out that when researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opiods to 28 men and 20 women whose wisdom teeth were extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men. In addtion, the speaker reasons that the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.

In the first place, the research on which argument is based is not convincing. The speaker informs us that there are 48 smaples in the research, 28 of which are male and the other are female. However, as we know, any scientific conclusion should be based on a large number of samples. While the number of samples mentioned in the argument, in itself, is too small to gauge the effect of kappa opiods generally. What’s more, the number of men is not equal to the number of women. In this case, we could not believe the result of the research can ensure representativeness of all kinds of people, because it is likely that the samples includes only stronger women rather than the common ones. On the contrary, the statistics on the study would be more interesting if the quantity of the samples is considerable and if the men of the sample are as many as women.

In the second place, the argument is weakened by the fact that it generalizes the result of the research, even if the research is effective. The conclusion that kappa opiods shoud prescribed for women whenever pain medication is needed suggests that it is presumed that the painkiller can be used in any situation and any time with no side effect. Yet there is no evidence to support this. On the contrary, it is common sense that most medication has some side effect and should be used in some particular situation to follow doctor’s words. In addtion, another opposite conclusion on men which implies that the painkiller is absolutely useless for men is not supported as well. In fact, the drug may be usefull for men when the case is not severe.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence to provided that all medication should be reevaluated on men versus women. It is likely that some medication has already been evaluated on men versus women so it is not necessary to test it again. Besides, some drugs are prescribed just for men or women, which are also unnecessary to be evaluated on men versus women. So it is helpful to classify the medication before the reevaluation to find out which is really needed be retested.

To sum up, the speaker fails to substantiate his claim that kappa opiods shoud be prescribed for women whenever the pain medication is needed but not for men and that all medication should be reevaluated on men versus women. To strengthen the argument, the speaker would have to provide a more convincing study on the painkiller, whose quantity of the samples should be considerable. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the side effect of the medication and the particular situation in which the medication is needed. At last, the classification of drugs may be helpful before the reevaluation.

夏诺多UID: 2981956

138zerr.doc (36 KB, 下载次数: 4)

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下载次数: 4

zerrUID: 3006555

I-112
Some educational systems emphasize the development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that also taught them to explore their own emotions.
WORD:507                  TIME:2 hours                  DATE: 2011-3-1

Which is more beneficial for students, the capacity for reasoning and logical thinking or the exploration of their emotions? In response to this isuue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively from the dialectic perspective, investigating the nature of the truth by critical analysis of concepts and hypothesis. The speaker declares that students would benefit more from an education that taught them to explore their own emotions. However, it oversimplifies the issue. The final judgment, in my piont of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

Admittedly, it is important for an individual to explore his or her emotion, especially when he or she is an artist. As we know, most art works, such as music, painting, sculpture and so forth, are the direct expressions of the artists’ emotions. So it is obvious that artists can express themselves better after the exploration to their emotions. In addition, the exploration to emotions is also helpful for the audience to enjoy the art works, because it is easier for them to understand the artist’s feeling.

Besides, to understand one’s emotion is beneficail not just for the artist, but also for the common people. It is our common sense that a better understanding of one’s own feeling means a better control of himself. For instance, if one realize that he himself is angry, he should know that it is not a good time to make decision; or if one find that he himself is sad or agitated, he should know that it is better to have a rest or adjust his feeling before working.

However, the importance of realization of emotions does not mean that capacity for reasoning and logical thinking should be ignored. The world is full of logical relationship, so if we want to understand the truth of nature, we should have the capacity for reasoning and logical thinking. Therefore, almost every kind of analysis and critique is based on logic, and most scientific technologies or theories are the consequences of logical thinking. Without logical thinking, we can not imagine what the world will be. Maybe we are still hunting the animals with stones.

What’s more, the logic thinking is significant not only for the development of society, but also for the development of individual, which is one of the purpose of the education. On one hand, many vocations, such as lawyer, scientist, banker, engineer and so on, call for the ability of reasioning and logical thinking, and these are all attractive jobs to the students. On the other hand, the ability is important for personal daily life as well. Without logical thinking, one can only reject or trust others arbitrarily, and result in the bad relationship or being cheated.

From the analysis made above, I strongly commit to the notion that educational system  need to keep balance between the capacity for reasioning and logical thinking and the expolration to emotions. Without the logical thinking, students can not learn the truth of nature. Without the understanding of emotions, students can not work effectively and live a happy life.

sophie-zyUID: 2894667

改好啦~能力有限，请见谅哈~

卧沙场UID: 3016143

FROM   卧沙场
138-"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 630          TIME: unlimited         DATE: 2011-2-25

Are mistakes the only acess to the discover or progress? The speaker claims so. At fisrt glance, it seems correct(plausible) because so many masters have made some mistakes(it is almost irrevocable for any master to make mistakes). However, after some deep thought, I have to doubt (it forms a doubt in my mind that) whether it is the only methord that mistake is to be discovery or progress(whether discovery or progress could never be achieved besides by the way of mistakes). I concede that history is replete with the examples that one created a new theory or invented a new machine by correcting other’s or his own faults. Yet it mainly happens in the area of science and technology(Certain that history replete with the examples, that one created a new theory or invented a new machine by correcting other’s or his own faults, this trial-and-error pattern mainly happened in the area of science and technology). When it comes to the area of art, such as architecture, music, and painting, I argue that it is unnecessary to make mistakes to make progresses or discoveries.

Admittedly, as I say above（in the passage above）, in the area of science and technology, mistakes are important to researchers. As we all know, modern research is on the base of experiment or practice, that means researchers will make a step forword after solving a problem, and finally achieve success in this way. Obviously, the reason why mistakes are so important in this area is that the law of nature is too hard(obscure or hidden) to discover. As a result, only by making mistakes and modifying views can researchers effectively find out the right way to their goals(the procedure , repeating of making mistakes then modifying views, turned out to be the most convenient channel through which researchers was able to find there way to their goals). On the contrary, it is hard to believe that one can make a great progress without a mistake, even he is a talent like Newton. And I think the only way to avoid mistakes is to do nothing. To be concrete, research is just like to find a right way to someplace which is your destination, yet there is no way in front of you. So the only method left for you is to try every possible direction to reach your destination. Consequentially, the process of trying is no doubt full of faults or error.

However, in the area of architecture, progress does not means the result of wrong ideas（not is seldom used, replace it with other forms,.seldom or is unlikely） Maybe someone will claim that the style of building is changing, which is a good example to demonstrate that the progress is coming from mistakes. First of all, I have to define mistake as a result that is completely wrong and can not be adopted. so( by using some conjunction to prolong your asl),Clearly, even the style is changing, the old building can still be used and unnecessary to be damaged, which is not the consequence of mistake. So I can（I is reasonable for me to） argue that progress is coming from amendment, instead of mistakes.

In addition, in the area of music and painting, discovery and progress is just the different(alternative) expressions of artists’ feelings to the environments or objectiveness around them. Maybe(there is a great chance that) they will show their genius with different methods or in different styles, which is depend on the need and the skills they have. Nevertheless you can not prove any method or style is mistake. In this point, to be simple and concrete, both Beethoven and John Lennon are all great masters. You can not deny the value of Beethoven’s classical works (supposing that, yet it would be untenable that) because of the development of music, even if you like popular music(a fan of, have a special favor of ). On the other hand, I guess that some arguer will point out that the discovery of some talents is still through mistakes, such as Van Gogh, whose paintings are valuated by mistake. Nonetheless, there are not so many pitiable masters whose works are neglected. Oppositely, many artists are famous in their times because of their classics, such as Haydn,Mozart, Da Vinci, Pablo Picasso and so forth. So apparently, mistakes are not the only acess to discovery.

From the analysis above, it is clear that even though in some areas, such as physics, mistakes are the important acessees to development, (yet)it is not the only way in all areas. Nevertheless, no matter what area we are in, I strongly argue that we should avoid the dispensable mistakes.


Comment
1. your choice of words is not particularly suitable for GRE level, some detailed suggestion is directly placed into your passage. I think this problem is perhaps the most overwhelming focus for your coming days. (my expression style is merely a suggestion for u, consider it)
2. your thought is fluent ‘cause it seems easy for you to fill the essay, and your citations are abundant. Keep it.

zerrUID: 3006555

A53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin — a hormone known to affect some brain functions — would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children — now teenagers — who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

纯仿写。
WORD: 425                          TIME:UNLIMITED                           DATE:2011-3-2

The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the reliability and generalizability of the research are open to question. In addtion, the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship. The argument also fails to examine alternative explanations. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.
In the first place, when evaluating the evidence of the research, we find that there are only 25 samples. As we know, most scientific researches shoud be based on a large number of samples. While the quantity of samples mentioned in the argument, in itself, is too small to support the conclusion. Hence, the generalization drawn might not apply to most infants. Besides, there is no information to prove whether the research was limited in certain ways. For instance, was the research limited to a certain city or geographic region? Were the male infants as many as the female? Factors such as these could explain the result of the research and could undermine the reliability of the research results.

In the second place, even if the research was broad enough, the argument remains questionable. The argument presumes that the correlation between the level of melatonin and shyness during infancy means that production of melatonin causes shyness during infancy. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to prove the conclusion. However, the family environment and education are also important factors for children to shape their characters, which are not mentioned in the argument. Furthermore, there is also probability that it is the the unfamiliar stimuli that causes shyness during infancy, instead of the increased levels of melatonin.

Finally, even the research result that production of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy is acceptable, the argument’s author does not provide any evidence to show this shyness will continue in later life and fails to examine alternative reasons. On the contrary, it is likely that the shyness will disappear in later life because of the change of the environment around them or the development of their personalities. Moreover, teenagers are always changing, and the characters of teenagers are much easier to change than adults. It is likely that through a summer camp or reading an inspiring book the teenagers become more outgoing.

In conclusion, the argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing a more convincing research. And it will be more interesting to be given the information about samples, such as the educational environment, family details, and whether they are shy in later life.

zerrUID: 3006555

I-170

坚韧杀神UID: 2703697

In this argument, the speaker concludes that kappa opiods, a painkiller, should be prescribed for women no matter when pain medication is needed, while men shoud be given other kinds of pain medication. What’s more, the speaker also alleges that all medications should be reevaluated on men versus women. To support the conclusion, the speaker points out that when researchers administered the same dosage of kappa opiods to 28 men and 20 women whose wisdom teeth were extracted, the women reported feeling much less pain than the men. In addtion, the speaker reasons that the easing of pain lasted considerably longer in women. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.开头复述题干稍显冗长，楼主可考虑适当减少写字数

In the first place, the research on which argument is based is not convincing. The speaker informs us that there are 48 smaples in the research, 28 of which are male and the other are female. However, as we know, any scientific conclusion should be based on a large number of samples. While（while不宜单独领起一句，建议改成However） the number of samples mentioned in the argument, in itself, is too small to gauge the effect of kappa opiods generally. What’s more, the number of men is not equal to the number of women. In this case, we could not believe the result of the research can ensure representativeness of all kinds of people, because it is likely that the samples includes （include）only stronger women rather than the common ones（加入为什么stronger women 会给统计带来误差）. On the contrary, the statistics on the study would be more interesting if the quantity of the samples is considerable and if the men of the sample are as many as women.（建议楼主再加一句话论述男女人数为什么应该不同）

In the second place, the argument is weakened by the fact that it generalizes the result of the research, even if the research is effective. (楼主此句表述比较模糊 generalized一词可能不太准确) The conclusion that kappa opiods shoud prescribed for women whenever pain medication is needed suggests that it is presumed that the painkiller can be used in any situation and any time with no side effect. Yet there is no evidence to support this. On the contrary, it is common sense that most medication has some side effect and should be used in some particular situation to follow doctor’s words. In addtion, another opposite conclusion on men which implies that the painkiller is absolutely useless for men is not supported as well. In fact, the drug may be useful for men when the case is not severe.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence（absolutely no evidence修饰不太搭配 建议该为absolutely no necessary 或 将absolutely换掉）  to provided that all medication should be reevaluated on men versus women.（这里再加入一句让步：假设我们认可K药物对男女效果不同 It is likely that some medication has already been evaluated on men versus women so it is not necessary to test it again. ）Besides, some drugs are prescribed just for men or women, which are also unnecessary to be evaluated on men versus women. So it is helpful to classify the medication before the reevaluation to find out which is really needed （to）be retested.

To sum up, the speaker fails to substantiate his claim that kappa opiods shoud be prescribed for women whenever the pain medication is needed but not for men and that all medication should be reevaluated on men versus women. To strengthen the argument, the speaker would have to provide a more convincing study on the painkiller, whose quantity of the samples should be considerable. Additionally, to better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the side effect of the medication and the particular situation in which the medication is needed. At last, the classification of drugs may be helpful before the reevaluation 结尾针对三个错误分别给出了建议，非常详尽
总体上而言本文已经非常吧棒了，可以看出楼主基本找到了Argu的感觉，不知楼主有没有用模版，我们可以进一步交流一下。
我想楼主要注意在句中强调错误带来的后果以形成前后文的照应，这样可使逻辑更为严谨。
个别语句可再做进一步的改写以使文章表大更加灵活而又自然。
其他的问题由于我也是刚开始上手准备作文还提不出太有建设性的意见。真诚希望楼主能够继续进步，一起加油！

cecyleyueyueUID: 2753319

Some educational systems emphasize the development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that also taught them to explore their own emotions. WORD:507                  TIME:2 hours                  DATE: 2011-3-1 Which is more beneficial for students, the capacity for reasoning and logical thinking or the exploration of their emotions? In response to this isuue, we need to analyze the proposition comprehensively from the dialectic perspective, investigating the nature of the truth by critical analysis of concepts and hypothesis. The speaker declares that students would benefit more from an education that taught them to explore their own emotions. However, it oversimplifies the issue. The final judgment, in my piontof view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis. 第一段重复题目 加开头模板？倒是没什么问题 只是持保留态度，我觉得这毕竟不是1000字以上的paper。就假设你学校的一门课 老师布置作业是中文800字左右的议论文 你会开头用一段去阐述论证原理和方法吗？ Admittedly, it is important for an individual to explore his or her emotion, especially when he or she is an artist. As we know, most art works, such as music, painting, sculpture and so forth, are the direct expressions of the artists’ emotions. So it is obvious that artists can express themselves better after the exploration to their emotions. In addition, the exploration to emotions is also helpful for the audience to enjoy the art works, because it is easier for them to understand the artist’s feeling. 观点例子明确 但有点例子没能联系起来论点的感觉 只是举了一下表象 Besides, to understand one’s emotion is beneficail not just for the artist, but also for the common people. It is our common sense that a better understanding of one’s own feeling means a better control of himself. For instance, if one realize(s) that he himself is angry, he should know that it is not a good time to make decision; or if one find that he himself is sad or agitated, he should know that it is better to have a rest or adjust（motify? 或者还有什么更传神的词？adjust..后面没有into...感觉怪怪的） his feeling before working. 很清楚的一段 没什么问题。只是前面说for artist 这边说for the common people 感觉好像只把人分成这两类。并且，因为对这两类人重要 所以exploration of emotion就重要了？好像不是很有说服力~~ However, the importance of realization of emotions does not mean that capacity for reasoning and logical thinking should be ignored. The world is full of logical relationship（s）, so if we want to understand the truth of nature, we should have the capacity for reasoning and logical thinking. Therefore（Moreover?这句和前面那句好像没有因果关系 应该是并列吧）, almost every kind of analysis and critique is based on logic, and most scientific technologies or theories are the consequences of logical thinking. Without logical thinking, we can not imagine what the world will be. Maybe we are（were 这里虚拟应该变过去时） still hunting the animals with stones. 这段对于logical thinking重要性的分析感觉比前面两段有理 What’s more, the logical thinking is significant not only for the development of society, but also for the development of individual, which is one of the purpose of the education. On one hand, many vocations, such as lawyer, scientist, banker, engineer and so on, call for the ability of reasioning and logical thinking, and these are all attractive jobs to the students. On the other hand, the ability is important for personal daily life as well. Without logical thinking, one can only reject or trust others arbitrarily, and result in（which easily leads to  如何） the bad relationship or being cheated.这两段for society and for people 感觉比前面的分类要舒服 From the analysis made above, I strongly commit to the notion that educational system  need to keep balance between the capacity for reasioning and logical thinking and the expolration to emotions. Without the logical thinking, students can not learn the truth of nature. Without the understanding of emotions, students can not work effectively and live a happy life. 结尾清楚 没问题

语言精炼 文法准确 表达清楚 这点很值得赞赏
当然如果能再稍加一两句比较有亮点的长难句 或者动词、形容词的运用再生动一点 表达效果会更好
逻辑就是平衡观点 感觉无功无过 没有什么特别impressive的statement 当然也没有明显的逻辑错误
如果追求高分的话，建议在保证现有水平和熟练度的基础上增强文章的思想深度 美化语言
以你的勤奋程度 相信不难~~

PS 非常感谢你点评的“论证很具迷惑性” 一语中的！我的文章确实在掩盖逻辑上的不严谨。。还想请教你有什么方法 能让思维逻辑更直接、准确一些呢？

噜噜噜啦啦UID: 2982014

先保存起来，晚上该。不过给你提个建议噢，A53/I112 之类的字也写上吧，同时也可以加上标签，不然看英文找晕晕乎乎的，以后东西太多了要看内容来找会很麻烦的:D

zerrUID: 3006555

12# 噜噜噜啦啦 已经改正了~

zerrUID: 3006555

10# 坚韧杀神 "总体上而言本文已经非常吧棒了，可以看出楼主基本找到了Argu的感觉，不知楼主有没有用模版，我们可以进一步交流一下。
我想楼主要注意在句中强调错误带来的后果以形成前后文的照应，这样可使逻辑更为严谨。
个别语句可再做进一步的改写以使文章表大更加灵活而又自然。
其他的问题由于我也是刚开始上手准备作文还提不出太有建设性的意见。真诚希望楼主能够继续进步，一起加油！"
这篇的确是用了模板，所以开头和结尾都显得很冗长，因为是上手，也没什么好想法，所以先用模板了。

zerrUID: 3006555

11# cecyleyueyue

这篇我是直接套的模板，所以感觉前后都很啰嗦。
对于这种论题，我一般都是持中庸的态度，所以很难在主题上显示出亮点，至于逻辑上的闪光，就更麻烦了。
对于那种印象深刻的论证，我想可能真的是需要些灵感和积累。
在有限的时间里想有这种提高，确是有些难度的。
组长的实力还是很强啊，你的论证我看了半天才看懂……