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[作文] Daily writing from Cinda [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-25 21:47:39 |显示全部楼层
3.24 综合-改

Have you ever been to France to enjoy the beauty of the sea? Have you ever been to New York to have a look on (at) the modern city? Or have you ever been to China to see (visit) the great historic cultureof the past historical sites? If you have no experience like that, you could (should) spend your money to take a trip and enjoy your journey (重复) .

Traveling can (will) broaden one’s horizons and knowledge, which can not be learned from books. On the trip, you can enjoy the scenic beauty (重复) of nature, the spectacular architects from modern society and from the past. Besides, you can (will) have a deep understanding of the history of the cities and countries. If you travel to Beijing, you will be amazed at (by 被动语态) the magnificent architects from the Qing Dynasty. If you travel to France, you will be surprised at (by 被动语态) the beauty of the seas and the tranquil atmosphere from ofthe small towns nearby the sea. If you travel to the Egypt, you will see the famous pyramid and will be astonished by the great culture of the Old Egypt. (加一两句对future的影响之类的)

Having a travel can release one’s great pressure and it can make people feel more energetic and relaxed. Nowadays, people may suffer from many(建议kinds of pressures from the work and the society. Great pressure could do harm to people’s health and lead to the desperation(是否是depression and despair. In this case, people should release their pressures in an efficient way, having a travel is a good choice and should be considered at firstthe best choice. Many businessmen try to release their great pressures in this way. During their trips they can enjoy the beauty, have a pleasant talk with their friends and get more inspiration to help them to do better in the future careers.

Admittedly, saving money for the future is sensible(比较下reasonable) and it should not be neglected. In case of emergency, people can have enough money to cope with the problems and difficulties. In addition, having more savings can make people feel at ease (easy) and live in a comfortable way. For instance, if people are in bad health, they can pay for the cost (fee) by using their savings immediately instead of borrowing money for others. In other words, saving money for future guarantees people to enjoy their better lives.

From my perspective, the advantages of traveling outweigh the advantagesones of saving money for future. We need to have a high standard live,(前文论述未涉及) relax our bodies and gain more knowledge from the outside world. And So traveling is the best choice.


整篇文章的感觉,以中文的思路和方法在写。当然,这对我来说也是个大问题。Can 用得太多,我之前也没注意这个问题。

第一次修改作文,不对的地方请理解。
多谢各位托友的批改,希望批得痛快淋漓!

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发表于 2011-3-25 22:49:56 |显示全部楼层
3.25 独立
It is reported that the government released a project called “environmental concerns plan” recently. It is obvious that the government thinks highly of the environmental issues and tries to help people to realize the importance of environmental protection. From my perspective, environmental problems are urgent and governments should pay more attention to them.

Environmental problems should be concerned by the governments and effective measures should be taken to slove the problem. Nowadays, air pollution, noise pollution, endangered species and resource crisis are critical issues for us. As the government plays a major role in coping with the problems more money should be payed for that. For instance, governments should spend money on seeking productive crops, cars with fuel-efficient engines and environmental friendly materials. Only in this way can all of us live in a harmonious relationship with the nature and it can benefit us a lot.

A good environment can improve people’s living standards and reduce the risks of being infected by virus. Just imagine that if we live in a city with air pollution, how could we breathe the fresh air and have healthy bodies? Rrecently, people who live in a small town of south China have been intoxicated by the polluted water. After investigated by the scientists, a chenical substance called”lead” has been found in the water. It caused the illness to the people and even some people died from it. Thus, governments should be aware of the significance in the environment.

Admittedly, as the old saying goes “health is the basic root to a person and to a society”. It cannot be denied that all the people are in good health condition is a wealth to a country. In this way, the country could have developed at a great speed and gain successes in many fields. For example, if most of the people in a country are infected by a serious virus, this county could not improve its economy, technology and education. On the contrary, a country with healty people could gain a significent improvement in various fields.

From my perspective, environmental issues are more critical. Therefore, it is  advisable for a government to pay more attention to the environmental issues.

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发表于 2011-3-26 22:10:39 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 ferrywinGTI 于 2011-3-26 23:21 编辑

3.25 独立-改

3.25 独立Cinda.doc

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多谢各位托友的批改,希望批得痛快淋漓!

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发表于 2011-3-30 00:14:23 |显示全部楼层
3.29 独立
As current people live under great pressures and they are susceptible to physical diseases. Some people argue that it is the government’s responsibility to build more art museum and music center. On the contrary, others favor the idea that recreational facilities are more critical and should be established immediately. From my perspective, all of the public facilities mentioned above are indispensible for the people but the art museums and music centers are worth being spent more money.

It is essential to build art museum and music center so that an academic atmosphere could be developed well. In other words, art museum and music center offer people more opportunities to know the history of art and cultivate their dispositions. If more art museum and music center have been built, more and more people will get the access to the magnificence of art and music. From this way, people who are unfamiliar with the art may gain knowledge about the Art Renaissance as well as the fantasy about the music that Beethoven once played. Therefore, it can not only release their pressures but also established a more academic atmosphere in the whole society.

Also, art museum and music center are symbols of a country’s civilization and they can attract more tourists to come to have visits which would lead to the stimulation in the country’s economy. Almost all the developed countries in the world have some famous art museums and music centers. For instance, the Louvre in France, the Lincoln music center in America and the Royal music center in England. Every year, hundreds of people are inspired by the excellent reputations of the museums and come to have visits. To some degree, it leads to the flourish in tourist industry and finally benefits the whole country’s economy.

On the other hand, the importance of recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds could not be ignored by the government. That is to say, recreational facilities should be viewed as significant as the art museum and music center. Nowadays, people especially the office workers sit on the desk all the weekdays and do not have enough time to do sports. Besides, some of the recreational facilities are out of date and can not suit people’s needs. In this circumstance, it is high time for government spending money on building more recreational facilities in order to improve people’s health conditions.

To sum up, it is advisable for a government to spend money on the building art museums, music centers and recreational facilities. However, as the art museums and music centers play important roles in benefitting the country’s economy, establishing a good academic atmosphere and relaxing people in an efficient way, it is indeed worth being pay more money.

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发表于 2011-3-30 00:16:15 |显示全部楼层
3.29 独立

3.29原文.doc

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发表于 2011-3-31 16:28:41 |显示全部楼层
3月29日独立写作修改好了~不好意思改的太晚了。。。。。

3.29__已修改.doc

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1月30号IBT要给力啊~~

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发表于 2011-3-31 21:10:43 |显示全部楼层
3.31 独立

3.31独立.doc

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发表于 2011-4-1 21:50:18 |显示全部楼层
4.1 独立

4.1独立我的.doc

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发表于 2011-4-2 15:25:08 |显示全部楼层
4月1日 独立 修改

4.1独立cinda 改.doc

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发表于 2011-4-9 16:15:17 |显示全部楼层
你4.7的综合呢??????

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发表于 2011-4-13 15:08:02 |显示全部楼层
corrine97(Cinda) 0412獨立.pdf -
https://docs.google.com/viewer?a ... 4MjNiYWRm&hl=en
連過去網頁,按左上角file>> download
PS. 要怎麼用寄託的附檔功能?
just do it

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发表于 2011-4-14 11:22:50 |显示全部楼层
4.13 独立

413独立.doc

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发表于 2011-4-14 11:25:24 |显示全部楼层
413 综合

413综合.doc

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发表于 2011-4-14 18:17:59 |显示全部楼层
:loveliness:

corrine97(413)—revised by snowlaura.doc

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不喜欢工作,不喜欢工作,什么工作都不喜欢

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发表于 2011-4-14 21:09:53 |显示全部楼层
不好意思,批改的作文恐怕要迟点给你,可以吗?

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RE: Daily writing from Cinda [修改]

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