[作文] Daily writing from Cinda [复制链接]

corrine97
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发表于 2011-4-14 22:26:12 |只看该作者

60# das_postkarte

好，没关系，尽快咯~~ 我周六晚要综合我的作文贴

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das_postkarte
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62楼

发表于 2011-4-14 22:32:06 |只看该作者

今晚之前发你邮箱可以吗？因为我的级别不够发附件。。。可以告诉我你的邮箱吗？谢谢！:loveliness:

双非DIY美硕申请总结

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das_postkarte
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63楼

发表于 2011-4-14 23:19:06 |只看该作者

额，因为我没有上传附件的权限，可以给我你的邮箱，我发给你批改的作文，可以吗？

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yecochi
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64楼

发表于 2011-4-16 10:08:55 |只看该作者

Agree or disagree: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize wouldn’t be successful.
Teamwork is gaining more and more popularity in today’s business, researches and studies. Every member is an individual while a team is a whole. A team’s success means the success of every (team) member. For individuals, receiving critics as well as being cohesive and innovative is the key approaches to gain success.

Receiving critics from other members of the/ a group is an excellent way to achieve success. In this way, people can learn valuable and useful experience from others. For example, while I was doing a research with my classmates, I submitTED an essay with some effective solutions of which I thought should be thought highly. However, some members of my group/ (some of my group members) opposed my suggestions and criticized them. In this circumstance, I considered their ideas thoroughly and thought twice before I handed in the final essay. Fortunately, I got a high score/ good grade in the essay and my teacher regarded it as an excellent job. / (My essay was highly scored and well regarded.) Therefore, it is advisable for people to receive critics from other members in the group.

There is an excellent sentence with past progressive; however, I think it’s better to change “when” to “while”. It is because “when” introduces the simple past tense action while “while” introduces the past progressive action.
用Highly scored/ scored high, good or high grades 比較道地

Another significant element for people to gain success in a team work/ (within a team setting) is to be cohesive and incorporative with other (group) members. A group likes a family. As a proverb goes “Union is strength”, it reminds us that every member in the group should hold tight and step forward together. It is inevitable that some members in the group may fall behind, at the same time; others may (be) in a leading position. So, it is essential for the superior members to assist the junior ones in order to achieve their goals. Besides, discussing the possible solutions together and reach the agreement is an optimum way when people hold different ideas. / (When group members hold different ideas, it is wise for them to discuss the possible solutions together and reach the agreement.)

Team work: uncountable noun/ art works: countable noun

Finally, to be creative and innovative is indispensible for people to obtain success/ succeed in a group work. In other words, to break the conventional thinking is a way to become successful. For instance, a company is considering the effective ways to sell its products and have a higher profit. Almost every member focuses on how to make better advertisement which is a prevalent way to sell products. But only one member realizes the importance of (the) consumers’ needS and feelings about the products. So, this person does a research with the customers, analyses theIR answers and puts forward his or her ideas and solutions to the problem, which finally help the company to get a (higher) profit as well as others’ respect to him/ her. Hence, critical thinking is an essential part to obtain/ achieve success.
Achieve/ make/ earn a profit

In order to be a successful person in a cooperation of a team, receiving others’ critics as well as being incorporative and creative are the possible ways.

不知道为什么，这篇的最后一段竟然不会写了，想了半天才想出两行句子。。。>_<

It is a good essay. Pointing out the connection between innovation, cooperation and reception of critics, maybe you could make it an excellent essay.
You can re-state your stance toward the topic and summary your supporting ideas in the conclusion.

just do it

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