各位G友们~ 小女子上传了限时的Issue 处女作 请大家给点建议吧~不胜感激~

pigletqUID: 2903699

TOPIC: ISSUE213 - "Too much emphasis has been placed on the need for students to challenge the assertions of others. In fact, the ability to compromise and work with others-that is, the ability to achieve social harmony-should be a major goal in every school."
WORDS: 346          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2011-2-26 19:38:09

Is ability of the compromission a crucial pointI fundamentally agree with the notion putforwad.

No one would deny that as the tendecy of International working-group becoming more and more popular through the development of civilization, no one would be outside of the atmosphere of the international coorportion which means that, to a certain extent, compromising has been leading a great advancement of the ability of social harmony. It's hard to imagine that too much emphasis will lead a certain consequence through a heating dispute or argument while every little compromise of each members of the discussion could make a facinating outcome.

Another reason I share with the assertion which comes out of oppinion I belive that the capability of compromising and work with others represents one's managment of reflection through which one can learn and acknowledge more comparing to the continuous emphasises one asserts. Admittedly that empasis has an effect on others when it comes to bringout a brainstorm and an idea tsunamy. Yet holding on your thoughts tightly and ignoring what others  thinking could be a disarster when coming to improving your own perspection of the problem. Not with the reflection

But on the other hand, too much compromision and with no own perspection in ones mind can be also a harmful result when in turns of the development of achivement of social hamony. Saying what anyoneelse said one can not managed to be anybody but ordinary. Everyone knows that pirots can imitate what human tought them to speak but do anyone cares about what do these words mean? Hardly agree so.

In sum,I agree with the notion the author put forward that ability to compromise and workwith others should be a major qoal in every school compared to the emphasis which has been placed on the need for students who suold have critical thinking. But on the other hand too much compromise could be also harmful on today's need of unique creations. As a result, I reccomend that while critical thinkings upon other's assertions putedforward in cooperations, one cannot forget that value of compromission

pigletqUID: 2903699

突然觉得好像开头内容少了很多。。。
而且字数也不够。。。
很是头痛的作文啊。。。

pigletqUID: 2903699

额。。。。。。。。。
自己顶一下吧。。。。

sparksongUID: 2362329

我无意中看到的，也就无意中改下吧~
1.开头当然太少了~~开头和结尾都是有模板的，比如你结尾就写的不错
2.每段的中心句用长句当然没问题，但是应该再突出一些~最起码简洁易懂些
3.缺少例子论证~ 一般来说很多人有很多例子但是分析的不好，但是你分析的不错但是缺少例子印证一下。加例子不是什么难事

in sum, 逻辑框架不错，需要再填充一下。ps，你的第一篇文章，比大多数人的第一篇文章要强很多了，赞~

pigletqUID: 2903699

呵呵~~ 谢谢你的高度评价！！ 我会继续努力的！

sparksongUID: 2362329

我现在发现，自己写的还没有以前写的好，真悲剧~ 5# pigletq