求修改求建议——heavy traffic

dee23UID: 2876505

what can we do with the heavy traffic?

Nowadays, people who live in urban districts keep complaining of the endless traffic jam, especially in rush hours. Dealing with the heavy traffic has already become the top priority in many big cities.

Of crucial importance, in my opinion, is to realize that the increasing number of private cars is one of the main sources of heavy traffic and that it is necessary to limit the number of private cars in large cities. Another possible way would be building a well-functioned public traffic system. With more buses and subways and cheaper ticket prices, more people would choose to go by bus or subway. And thus, reliving the huge pressure of the traffic. Above all, the best approach to this problem is to make people fully aware of the disadvantages of heavy traffic. By dong speech in communitise, the government can encourage people to go by other traffic means rather than force them to do so.

In a word, as long as we pay full attention to the heavy traffic, there is a large possibilitiy that it can be solved properly.

sansantreeUID: 2997096

In these days, people who live in urban districts often complain of the endless traffic jam, especially in rush hours. Dealing with the heavy traffic has already become the top priority in many big cities.

In my opinion, to tackle with this condition, of crucial importance, is to realize that the increasing number of private cars is one of the main sources of heavy traffic and that it is necessary to limit(restrain) the use of private cars in large cities. Another possible way would be building a well-functioned public traffic system. With more buses and subways and cheaper ticket prices, more people would choose to travel by public transports. Thus, we might successfully relive the huge pressure of the traffic. Above all, the best approach to this problem is to make people fully aware of the drawbacks of heavy traffic. By delivering speeches in public, the government can encourage people to go by other traffic means rather than force them to do so.

In a word, as long as we pay full attention to the heavy traffic and take some effective steps, the problem would be solved in the future.


我刚刚回错去了别人那里了。。。

goldiorlUID: 2741918

正文段我觉得写得不错。毕竟这题的词汇想套也只有这么几个，能列清楚理由就基本拿下了。不过结尾有点俗。是不是可以再深刻点。
如果小错误不犯我觉得6。5分往上走吧