一个新东方老师的献身（作文修改与阅读指导）

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

各位备战托福，二战托福，N战托福的大虾们。在逛了多年寄托之后，这是我第一次发帖，严格意义上来说，这个帖子更重要的是回帖。
本人在新东方教授托福，SAT一年半，主攻词汇，阅读和写作部分。也临时凑数干过考研和四六级的阅读与写作。如今我闲置在家准备LSAT的考试，于是决定，回馈寄托以及寄托上有史以来的各路豪杰，以及正在准备托福考试的同志们。看过此贴的同志们，请你们留下你们的作文，我会在48小时之内把修改版的作文发到这个帖子里面。或者你也可以给我邮箱。这是本帖第一项任务。
第二项就是阅读，根据本人教书经验来看，托福阅读是目前中国考生能遇到的技巧性最差的考试项目，复习思路也很简单，词汇 + 真题。基本上把词汇憋到6000以上，然后干掉目前有的19套TPO，你的阅读不上25分除非你考试睡着。当然，这里的干掉指的不仅仅是做完题，还要精读，至于怎么精读，我想没有比手工翻译更有效的了，条件允许的，还可以用电脑打字翻译，毕竟新托是机考。但是在练习过程中，还是有部分同志对于个别长难句，以及个别题目存在很大疑问，毕竟即使是OG的题目解析，很多都跟废话差不多。如果各位有任何关于阅读，关于长难句的问题，请把题目发上来，也可以发到我邮箱kitano2530@126.com，同样的，48小时之内给你解答。

如果你有关于听力，或者口语的疑问，我会咨询我的同事，毕竟我不是什么“老专家”，不敢给各位什么建议。希望给位踊跃作文，积极阅读，玩命备考，引用罗永浩说过的那句话：“年轻时定下一个目标，就不要太爱惜自己的身体”。祝给位新托愉快！

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

默默等待各位的作文和阅读问题。。。

小耳蛇蛇UID: 2840589

Topic: should children spend most time playing or studying or required to help the family like household chores like cooking and cleaning

For years we have been accustomed to seeing children playing or studying all the time, and,    moreover, it seems that scenes alike are taking place at an increasingly high rate during recent years. However, from my perspective, children should be required to help the family with household chores like cooking and cleaning as a necessity in daily life. There are several reasons accounted for that.

Initially, the main reason lies on the fact that children, as members of a family, forge their values of responsibility not at the age of an adult but at youth. In other words, children who frequently assist their parents with household chores are likely to develop into a considerate and thoughtful man in the future. It reminds me of a friend of neighborhood. When I was just a child of six, I was often told by my parents on his sharing household chores with his family. Therefore I was forced to take down to the business like what he did under the requirement of my parents from my childhood. Until now, I evidently realize that the experience enhances my values of responsibility both in my family and college club. What impresses me largely in my childhood's memory now distinguish me most in my life.

Another factor that deserves some words here is that it is suffice to mention a significant method of teaching their children to further their understanding of theories learned from school. A fair portion of families, in my knowledge, are commonly reward children by gifts or money in relation to his work on a corresponding basis. They believe that only practice combines with theories can children actually make sense of the old sayings "no pains, no gains".

Admittedly, In light of the natural spontaneously characters in an early age, children who spend most time playing and studying should not be blamed. It might be several reasons for parents to ensure the happiness of children's childhood or enhance the competency from the starting line. Nevertheless, in the point of my view, children should be required to aid their families in household chores like washing dishes, clearing floors and so forth that much outweights children who spend most time playing and studying.

好人有好报呐。。。谢谢楼主，第一次写作文，木有人改。。。5555555~

小狒狒UID: 2739243

真的啊。。。

小耳蛇蛇UID: 2840589

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a career in a long term.

Recently the argument of whether people should try several different job before they take a career in long term has been brought to public attention . When faced with the decision of agree or disagree, quite a few would deem that people in youth should merely work in a constant job and never change their line of business, but others, in contrast, believe the opposite as the premier choice and that is my point. Among countless factors which influence my decision of supporting young people to experience varies kinds of job before they are in a position to take a long term career, there are three conspicuous aspects as follows. I would treat these two ideas equally before offering my point of view.

Initially, the main reason lies on the fact that people fail to consider that a group of young people are too young to find out what they really interested in. Nothing can be more obvious to support this view that a fair portion of young employees occupy in what has no relationship between their majors in universities. The same can be said of my elder brother worked for several different companies. Finally he decided to work for a computer science company as a lifelong career, which was much more suitable for him.

Another factor that deserves some words here is that a substantial of young people shows a crucial attitude towards career planning. As the youth is the most valuable assets for them, young people are inclined to try different job. Furthermore, only in this way should they make a trade-off among the jobs they have worked before and get insurance of a bright future.

Last but absolutely not least, I would like to take advantage of some evidence to analyze it, with the economic globalization, young people are required to build the versatility of knowledge reserve in order to meet the demand of their corporate. Simultaneously, trying several different jobs would be likely to benefits them.

It is very likely that people will never come to the same conclusion on this controversial issue due to their disparate experience and conflicting values, and the public consciousness of the various dimensions of this issue will certainly contribute to a thoroughly understanding of this problem. In my opinion, there should be no difficulty in supporting young individuals to seek for different job ahead of starting a career in long term.


第二次，诶~一点感觉都没有，作文什么格式都不是很清楚~思路不清楚~

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

那么快就有同志发了。。。表示感动~请在明晚左右来本帖查收~

小耳蛇蛇UID: 2840589

谢谢楼主了~~~~拜谢，除了改作文，还希望支点招。：） 6# takshikitano

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

Topic: should children spend most time playing or studying or required to help the family like household chores like cooking and cleaning

For years we have been accustomed to seeing children playing or studying all the time, and（可以去掉这个and）, moreover, it seems that scenes alike are taking place at an increasingly high rate during recent years（这句话稍有别扭，如果你想表达的是“相似的情况近年来上升趋势”的话直接写this phenomenon is taking place at an increasingly high rate during recent years，或者可以把这句和上句合并为一个从句直接写The phenomenon that children could do nothing but play games or study is becoming widespread during recent years）, However, from my perspective（其实类似的模板语言是可以不要的，模板可以拿个22分左右，但是再想高一点就难了）, children should be required to help the（their） family（families） with household chores like cooking and cleaning as a necessity in daily life. There are several reasons accounted for that.
* p) c; L9 _8 Y  ~& m
Initially, the main reason lies on the fact that children, as members of a family, forge their values of responsibility not at the age of an adult but at youth（疑似应是childhood）. In other words, children who frequently assist their parents with household chores are likely to develop into a considerate and thoughtful man in the future. It reminds me of a friend of neighborhood. When I was just a child of six（因为下面还有一个I was，所以可以改成At my age of six）, I was often told by my parents on his sharing household chores with his family. Therefore I was forced to take down to the business like（需要注意一下like和as做“像”的时候的区别，这里推荐把like改成to the business as he did before） what he did（what he did可以不写） under the requirement of my parents from my childhood（这句话有点“凑字数”或者“凑长度”的嫌疑，因为上文已经有了be enforced的存在，这句话微微有点重复，如果希望保留，也推荐把requirement改成tutelage以避免个别单词的重复）. Until now（如果你喜欢，可以参考OG上面阅读部分的第一篇文章The Origins of Cetaceans里面第一段的最后一句，照此改成Ignoring until recently did I realize how this kind of experience can, both at home and in college club, influence me profoundly） , I evidently realize that the experience enhances my values of responsibility both in my family and college club. What impresses（应是过去式） me largely in my childhood's memory now distinguish（注意第三人称哦） me most in my life（这里说in my life 可能略显奇怪，可以改成on every aspects of my life）.

Another factor that deserves some words here is that it is suffice（这个。。。这个词好像是使…满足的意思，并且是个动词，你想表达的意思是？） to mention a significant method of teaching their children to further their understanding of theories learned from school. A fair portion of families, in my knowledge, are commonly reward children by gifts or money in relation to his work on a corresponding basis（是不是想说相当大的程度上，还是？我可能没明白你的意思）. They believe that only practice combines with theories can children actually make sense of the old sayings "no pains, no gains".

Admittedly, In light of the natural spontaneously characters in an early age, children who spend most time playing and studying should not be blamed. It might be several reasons for parents to ensure the happiness of children's childhood or enhance the competency from the starting line（这个赢在起跑线好像和做家务没有冲突。。。，毕竟做家务也是一种competency的培养么，我是这么想的哈）. Nevertheless, in the point of my view（啰嗦一下，这句还是模板形式有点严重，ETS其实不喜欢考生写八股文，如果你的目标是在90以上，最好自己整理自己的“模板”）, children should be required to aid their families in household chores like washing dishes, clearing floors and so forth that much outweights（outweighs） children who spend most time playing and studying.
结尾段最好和反驳段分开比较好。总的来说，目前大虾的作文水平只能算是一个普通中国大学托福考生的水平（如果你是高中生，那么你就牛了），但是想拿到22分还是很困难的。里面有部分所谓中式英语，还有一点点语法错误，并且你的论证其实不是特别“给力”，建议可以在练习时，先用中文想，再用英文写的方法，一开始慢一点不要紧，打字慢也可以练习，ETS可是很看重你的“论证”力度的哦，最后，建议慢慢放下模板，这样作文才能够取得高分突破。有什么问题继续练习，并且要在阅读和听力上狠下苦功哈！

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

如果各位战士们时间在5个月以上，建议把李笑来的185作文全部列出提纲，全部写或者背时不可能的。
至于阅读，我曾经用4500左右的词汇解析了所有TPO1-TPO16的题目，但是不能指望真的靠着四级词汇考出阅读高分。词汇量的增加，可以提高阅读的顺畅感，可以增强对文章的整体把握（注意这非常关键！），并且直接提高你的正确率。关于题型方面，请一定重视起总结题，该题分值高，而且正确率容易提升，是一道不能错的题目。如果同志们有什么具体的问题，还请“面谈”，范范的说法总是缺乏针对性，缺乏针对性其实帮助也就很小。同志们加把劲儿，嘿！

11010111011UID: 2965796

您好，我是一个新手，我已被完《李笑来的21天》，但阅读还是基本读不懂，请问这是什么原因。

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

回复楼上的，首先，做题的时候不要太过于追求“看懂”文章，譬如托福考过这么一个文章，内含如下一句话：“就像田园诗人一样，中东商人不高兴他们的环境会被轻易地‘打包’并留下更绿的田园—这是一种不会出现在其它文明历史长河之中的自我宣言。”像这种句子，就算完美地翻译出来，也没人知道它在说啥，只能猜（上课会讲这个背景，但是考生完全无需在做题是具备这些背景），所以，阅读关键是做题，至于你想有英文阅读的扩展，那么完全可以看看Scientific American或者国家地理之类的。其次，托福文章的确有一些所谓的“长难句”，这些句子对于一个普通的，或者非英语专业的考生而言，很难在那么短的时间内完全看明白。我们不求看懂文章，只求做对题。你可以试试这个方法，这是我让学生们练习的方法，做完一套题，先不查字典，对完答案之后再看一遍文章。换句话说，你试着在单词不完全认识，句子也很多不懂得情况下，能不能理解这一题为什么选X，如果能坚持，你会很快发现ETS的出题思路，并且总结出自己的做题心得。这种东西，比单纯的看懂句子，在考试方面要有用的多。至于想提高英语水平，那又是另外一回事了，毕竟就是使美国人，也不见得阅读真的都能懂，或者都作对。

takshikitanoUID: 2930448

下沉中。。。

lucia720UID: 2848275

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People would be happier if they had fewer possessions.

It’s universally acknowledged that the ultimate goal of survival in this world is happiness and with the rapid progress of modern society, more and more people begin to own a myriad of possessions. When it comes to the issue that whether people would be happier with fewer possessions, different people hold distinct opinions. From my perspective, I agree with the statement/quite support the idea that people with fewer belongings would be happier and I have my reasons.
Admittedly, no one can deny that if people want to survive and achieve a good living quality in society, they should possess some items such as dwellings, a certain amount of money and other necessary objects. By virtue of these possessions people are able to feel the sense of safety and belonging, afford what they want to buy, and sometimes show their dominant social status as well.
Nonetheless, the more possessions will not consequently bring about the more happiness. And as far as I am concerned, owning fewer belongings could help people avoid unnecessary troubles and worries. Moreover, these people are easier to feel satisfied and grateful about life.
Firstly, possessing fewer things will help people escape many superfluous problems and troubles in the family. Examples abound in our daily life. Imagine a large and rich family which has many belongings. Many wealthy people are often perplexed by the question of how to distribute the possessions fairly to every family member after their death. Unequal decisions may destroy the family harmony and lead to serious discrepancies while fewer possessions can avert such quarrels or troubles. Moreover, possessing fewer things will also help people get rid of additional anxieties and worries. Suppose a woman is wearing a piece of extremely luxurious jewelry. She has to pay so much attention to its security that concerns and anxieties even surpass the happiness it brings to her. In contrast, a woman with not so many decorations can behave more relaxed and live in a more happy way.
Apart from being free from the worries and troubles mentioned above, with fewer possessions, people will more easily be contented with their life. It is quite common that people with fewer belongings live a rather simple life. They face fewer temptations and therefore have fewer desires or lusts. In contrast, many people with more possessions are prone to become unsatisfied and greedy.
From the analysis above, we can see that fewer possessions bring us more happiness and satisfaction while too many belongings cause unnecessary troubles and worries. It is sensible and necessary for people to strike a balance between possessions and happiness. What else should be also pointed out is that exorbitantly chasing happiness from possessions will just lead to the opposite to what one wished.

小耳蛇蛇UID: 2840589

谢谢楼主啊~英语一直是自己的薄弱之处，时间的积累才能进步吧。谢谢~已经很感谢了！！！！ 8# takshikitano

waiting1UID: 2997856

Only movies that can teach us something about real life is worth watching. agree or disagree.

While some people maintain that only movies which reflect our real life are worth watching, as these movies are not superficial in terms of their content, I, personally do not hold that it is good idea. Movie, as a carrier of our life, should provide the audience with both real and virtual aspects of our world.

Most of us have dreams. We might want to be like superman and try saving the world, which is absolutely impossible; establish a wonderful relationship with a gorgeous girl, which is so hard or travel to a beautiful country, which is beyond our ability. So, how could we achieve them? Maybe, the best way is to watch movies. I love Paris. Its romantic atmosphere, delicious food and living condition are all attractive to me. Unfortunately, I cannot go on a trip to my dream city. My friend Chris once recommended me two movies called Before Sunrise and After Sunset which were shot in Paris. I have watched them countless times since I got the HD edition of them. By watching movies, part of my dreams can come true.

More importantly is the fact that a large number of people regard watching movies as a way of enjoyment. During the show time, individuals could escape from their stressful work and life troubles. When Avatar was on show last year, I immediately went to the only theater which offered the IMAX edition of this movie, as I was a big fan of James Cameron. Besides, I just broke off with my girlfriend and was eager to find something happy. The experience of watching this picture, indeed, helped me recover from my trauma. I do not know whether or not I would have gotten rid of my sad memory if I had watched another more realistic movie Aftershock.

Taking all factors into consideration, I still prefer to watch more entertaining virtual films, as our life is filled with lots of stress and anxiety and movies should be a source of entertainment rather than a tool for education. （340）

字数是少了点。悲剧。原本都是想写5段的。2正一反。但发现时间不够。哎。。真不知道有什么方法能使速度提上去点。。