凉凉的作文贴。

sumessUID: 3008634

独立改好了，但是不知道该怎么上传word 版本的

sumessUID: 3008634

tpo1 综合

In contemporary world, an increasing number of employees are willing to work four days for a week and to get less payment. According to the reading text, it is beneficial not only to the employers and individual employees, but also the entire economy. While in the listening material, the professor holds the opposite opinion.

To start with, unlike what is contained in the reading material that because all four-day worked employees relaxed and alarmed make fewer mistakes,（这一点是不是放第三段，因为第一点教授讲的是profit和cost的关系） the company can make more profits without spending extra money on hiring new employees, the professor in the lecture argues that hiring new employees means adding more investment on training as well as health benefits. Plus, new employees also need more office space and computers, which costs the company more money.(还有medical benefit， training方面的cost，加进去会好一点)

What's more, the reading asserts that older employees working four days may offer more job vacancies for those unemployed individuals and thus enhance the development of economy. On the contrary, the professor assumes that due to the high cost of hiring new employees, the company may turn to other options such as forcing the old employees to work overtime. Besides, it may raise the employers' expectations, they may urge the employees to do as much work as they previously do, which makes the job more unpleasant.

Lastly, the reading deems that employees working four days a week can spend their spare time with their families and doing something interesting. Oppositely, the professor considers that it is risky, for it may shorten the employees' job qualities（应该是stability） and advanced career, so they may be the first to lose their jobs. Moreover, it may prevent them from promoting, that is, the company may not choose them as managers in order to keep the supervision and management constantly.

感觉点子总体都挺到位的，而且模板用的很好，就是在听力方面的细节没有处理好

Yvaine198831UID: 2956487

29# 凉言

综合修改

凉言UID: 2996787

感觉进入瓶颈期了。。不知道作文如何提高- -修改的同学有什么想法呢？请教~

jacksonboy424UID: 2998392

不好意思，刚放学，改晚了，见谅

凉言UID: 2996787

谢谢修改的同学~~

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月9日 独立 修改
写的挺好的，我找不到什么问题，就不传修改的了。

christina1949UID: 2992239

TPO 5 综合
In the lecture, the professor argues that the three theories about the use of Chaco Canyon, which are discussed in the passage, are all unconvincing.

To begin with, the speaker says that the inside sculpture of Chaco Canyon totally does not meet the needs for living, for there are only few fire places in it. If Chaco Canyon was used as living apartment, there would be more for every family to cook with. Plus, in the largest building, merely enough fire places for ten families are found. All mentioned above contradicts that (the) opinion that Chaco Canyon was which (what) is stated in the passage, even though its appearance looks like the apartment building.

Secondly, the lecturer believes that provided （这个不要）the purpose of Chaco Canyon is storing（to store） the green maize, why traces of maize were（could） not
（be） found? （这样句子比较地道）Why Chaco Canyon doesn’t uncover with maize container remains or spilt maize in the floor?( Why can’t they uncover the maize container remains or spilt maize in the floor through the excavation progress? )Those give the evidence that(according to these,) the idea in the reading material was incorrect, and that the Chaco Canyon was not used for food storage.

Lastly, the professor maintains that besides those broken pots, plenty of other stuffs was (were) discovered in the Pueblo Alto, such as building materials like sand, construction tools, which indicate that the Pueblo Alto may be a train’s hip(这是神马意思“火车的臀部”?). And the pots may be remains of the construct workers’. This opposes the theory in the reading text that Chaco Canyon was used as circumstances for ceremonies.



我水平有限，只能修改这么多了
你的长句使用有点···
关于那个stuff，
我个人觉得plenty of 既然出来了，
你后面又例举了那么多，
就应该把它当负数看了，
所以就改了；如果你后面没有那么多例举，
我觉得直接用stuff也勉强
我查了很多资料，
很少看见stuff 的负数形式
你写得比我好，
加油！

christina1949UID: 2992239

TPO 5 综合
In the lecture, the professor argues that the three theories about the use of Chaco Canyon, which are discussed in the passage, are all unconvincing.

To begin with, the speaker says that the inside sculpture of Chaco Canyon totally does not meet the needs for living, for there are only few fire places in it. If Chaco Canyon was used as living apartment, there would be more for every family to cook with. Plus, in the largest building, merely enough fire places for ten families are found. All mentioned above contradicts that (the) opinion that Chaco Canyon was which
(what) is stated in the passage, even though its appearance looks like the apartment building.

Secondly, the lecturer believes that provided （这个不要）the purpose of Chaco Canyon is storing（to store） the green maize, why traces of maize were（could） not
（be） found? （这样句子比较地道）Why Chaco Canyon doesn’t uncover with maize container remains or spilt maize in the floor?( Why can’t they uncover the maize container remains or spilt maize in the floor through the excavation progress? )Those give the evidence that(according to these,) the idea in the reading material was incorrect, and that the Chaco Canyon was not used for food storage.

Lastly, the professor maintains that besides those broken pots, plenty of other stuffs was (were) discovered in the Pueblo Alto, such as building materials like sand, construction tools, which indicate that the Pueblo Alto may be a train’s hip(这是神马意思“火车的臀部”?). And the pots may be remains of the construct workers’. This opposes the theory in the reading text that Chaco Canyon was used as circumstances for ceremonies.



我水平有限，只能修改这么多了
你的长句使用有点···
关于那个stuff，
我个人觉得plenty of 既然出来了，
你后面又例举了那么多，
就应该把它当负数看了，
所以就改了；如果你后面没有那么多例举，
我觉得直接用stuff也勉强
我查了很多资料，
很少看见stuff 的负数形式
你写得比我好，
加油！

christina1949UID: 2992239

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: If parents want their children to do well at school, they should limit the time their children spend on watching TV.


Television, with its profound influence and prevalent acceptance among people, has become increasingly common in people's everyday life. Some people claim that it is bad for children to watch TV too much, which I agree with. Also, I deem that in order to let children do well at school, parents should limit the time their children spend on watching TV.

To begin with, children lack the ability of controlling themselves, if the time of they watching TV is beyond the limits, it may distract their attention from studying or other meaningful things. Young children education plays a fundamental role in children's development, since it fosters basic skills as well as cultivates children’s interests in studying. Provided that a child watches television all day, then he/she has no time to study, which thus, makes him/her fall behind other students in the first place. Therefore, parents should help children allocate their time to both studying and watching TV.

Moreover, too much exposure to TV may hurt the vision of children. Children are on the growing period, their bodies are vulnerable, and eye vision plays an extremely vital role in children's physical health. Take my younger brother for instance, when he was very young, my parents did not restrain him from watching too much television. As a consequence, he watched TV all the time, occasionally he even stared at the television the whole day without any rest for his eyes. However, when he entered the primary school, he found that he could not see the words in the blackboard at all. Then my parents had my brother tested of his eye vision, it was too poor for my brother to see things distant clearly. If my parents confined the amount of time my brother applied to watching TV（apply time to watch TV？这个用法···）, things would not go like this way. （这个例子好长啊，太累赘）

More importantly, a number of TV programs have bad influence/effection on children, such as sexual or violent factors, which do harm to the development of children's mental health. If a child watches such types of TV programs too much, he/she may imitate the behaviors or words of the certain programs, which, of course, have bad influence on children’s grown/growth. Thereby, parents have to take control of the time their children use to watch TV in order to maintain their mental health./keep them positive

Although watching television for a certain amount of time may not only enrich children's knowledge and broaden their horizon, but also relax them from the heavily stressed study. Nevertheless, its disadvantages, which are placed on children, prevail over advantages. In sum, I strongly agree with the assertion that parents should restrict the time their children spend on watching TV.

Apply ：to use sth or make sth work in a particular way
所以“apply time to watching TV”用法不妥

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

In the lecture, the professor argues that the three theories about the use of Chaco Canyon（这个应该是一个地方吧写house就可以了）, which are discussed in the passage, are all unconvincing.

To begin with, the speaker says that the inside sculpture of Chaco Canyon totally does not meet the needs for living, for there are only few fire places in it. If Chaco Canyon was used as living apartment, there would be more for every family to cook with. Plus, in the largest building, merely enough fire places for ten families are found. All mentioned above contradicts that opinion that Chaco Canyon was （这里有点混乱that Chaco Canyon was可以去掉）which is stated in the passage, even though its appearance looks like the apartment building.

Secondly, the lecturer believes that provided the purpose of Chaco Canyon is storing the green maize, why traces of maize were not found? Why Chaco Canyon doesn’t uncover with maize container remains or spilt maize in the floor? Those give the evidence that the idea in the reading material was incorrect, that （that变which 或者把逗号去掉）Chaco Canyon was used for food storage.

Lastly, the professor maintains that besides those broken pots, plenty of other stuff was discovered in the Pueblo Alto, such as building materials like sand, construction tools, which indicate that the Pueblo Alto may be a train’s hip（这个是？）. And the pots may be remains of the construct workers’. This opposes the theory in the reading text that Chaco Canyon was used as circumstances for ceremonies.  

作者的语法很好 思路很清晰 行文流畅 词汇的变化也比较好
全文就是那个house的名称写的不对（如果我没弄错的话）
看到你的作文 我发现我听得 好像漏掉好多东西
也多谢你的批改

求共享文字版 综合写作听力部分

qianhuangUID: 2766587

4月9日 独立 修改不好意思，我确实是改不出什么，而不是不改。
修改的几个小问题我觉得无伤大雅，所以没有传。再传一次。

凉言UID: 2996787

谢谢~~

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

修改凉言的综合  by ranger   0412

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

In recent years, high school students are required to take a broad range of courses, such as economic courses. Some people claim that it is unnecessary for high school students to learn economic. However, I hold the opposite idea, that all high school students should take basic economic courses.

To begin with, basic economic courses provide the students a basic understanding of money, as well as cultivate their abilities of managing money effectively. In basic economic courses, students learn the origin and function of money, and thereby they form a complete sense of the value of money, which restrain them from spending money with meaningless purposes. Plus, taking basic economic courses may help students make plans about how to use their money or even how to earn money by themselves. Thus, it is of great importance to learn basic economic courses for high school students.

Moreover, it is basic economic courses that enable the students know the global economic trend, which may be of great significant （名词形式）when they choose their majors in universities or career in the future. Students may take the economic tendency into account as a vital consideration when they encounter a discrepant situation to choose majors or career. For instance, if high school students who lived in the Depression period in America, they would acknowledge that the banking or Finance area was not a promising career through learning basic economic courses of current economic tendency. By contrast, they might turn to public insurance area, which was strongly supported by the government at that time, in order to get a good job. Therefore, learning basic economic courses is essential for students to know about the international economic condition, which is needed in choosing career in the future.

Admittedly, probably not all high school students are suitable for learning basic economic courses. It may be a little abstract and difficult for some students to understand the complicated principles of the subject. Nevertheless, basic economic courses can still offer them the primary consciousness of the definitions of money or other economic terms.

All in all, the advantages of taking basic economic courses prevail over disadvantages, so I strongly agree with the assertion that all high school students should take basic economic courses.


语法很好 现在的作文去考试已经没什么问题
提几点 希望能给作者锦上添花
文中一些基本词汇 比如说 good  learn 这样基本的词汇 应该尽量用些高级词汇替换
句型 定语从句用的很好 但是次数过多 举行不够多样 可以尝试倒装句 强调等的句型
希望作者上述能够几点
水平有限 望见谅
希望作者能有优异的成绩 :loveliness: