ranger jiang 的作文贴

snowlauraUID: 2872328

你果然是ranger jiang，我是静XX深

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

16# snowlaura    
   O(∩_∩)O哈哈~   原来世界如此之小  呵呵   静远流深

892524570UID: 2975104

批改后的

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

2011.04.13 交作业啦 机经独立一篇， 感谢各位， 我感觉自己在提高，感激啊感激

892524570UID: 2975104

批改好的

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

04.14  作业 独立  机经一篇

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

With the development of eduction （拼写错误）quality comes a public controversy（换成形容词形式） topic, which demonstrates whether we should increase teacher's salaries to improve the quality of education. Different people hold various opinions due to their views about this issue. As far as I am concerned, I strongly disagree with this statement. Because there （there去掉）many aspects should invest（被动形式） in the schools. Such as teaching equipments and training for the teachers. These following examples and details will support my opinion.

The point of top importance（of前缺少系动词） for my reason （which）focus on the teaching equipments. Recently, school equipments still in the low level situation（前半句没动词） so that students fail to obtain academic knowledge smooth. （此句前后关系不大吧）Hence, there is no doubt that we should spend much more finance on the equipments not just increase teachers （teachers’）salaries. Taking library as an example, which is a peaceful place to study. It is library that enable（单数） students full of knowledge. If one（is）full of knowledge from the library, which could contributes to his interests on the academic research, also would inspire their motivation and they might be hardworking in their knowledge field. A result （主句没动词）that they will acquire a good job in the nearly future. Therefore, maintaining library is a duty for the education system not just increase teachers（teachers’） salaries .   

In addition, my second point will concentrates on teachers themselves. Increasing teachers salaries will not encourage them work harder due to the fact that teachers could obtain a high salary in our modern society. That is to say they not lack of money. They have two long vocations every year and also be（are） able to earn money from the private training. So, we can finger out that teachers enjoying a superior welfare. On the other hand, to increase teachers high rewards is not a best way improve education quality. Owing to high rewards would not enable every teacher will focus their energy on the class and students. Under this circumstance, we can realize that this is a best way improve education quality.

In spite of the above points, my third reason comes with the same weight. We can funding （动词原形）to the training for teachers. Cultivating them to possess much more good qualities . For instance, if a teacher could manage students with humours and responsibility quality in the class. （句意不明确）Which could stimulate students interested in the learning way, and might be inspire their imagination. Moreover, they might be study with the optimistic mind and keeping deeper research. As a result , students will acquire their success far beyond than their past reached.

In light above these points, we can safely conclude that in order to improve the education quality, to increase teachers （teachers’）salaries is not a best way. Because we have to spend much money on the other aspects not just focus on the teachers.

作者的语法需要提高 单词的形式也许多注意
有的句子比达句意不明确 主从句的逻辑关系也应该更加明确
文章结构很好，所举事例也可以 只是缺少细节

水平有限 望见谅！

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

又改了一遍

With the development of eduction （拼写错误）quality （，主语）comes a public controversy（换成形容词形式） topic, which demonstrates whether we should increase teacher's salaries to improve the quality of education. Different people hold various opinions due to their views about this issue. As far as I am concerned, I strongly disagree with this statement. Because there （there去掉）many aspects should invest（be+被动形式） in the schools. Such as teaching equipments and training for the teachers. These following examples and details will support my opinion.

The point of top importance（of前缺少系动词） for my reason （which）focus on the teaching equipments. Recently, school equipments still in the low level situation（前半句没动词） so that students fail to obtain academic knowledge smooth. （此句前后关系不大吧）Hence, there is no doubt that we should spend much more finance on the equipments not（but 而不是的意思） just increase teachers （teachers’）salaries. Taking library as an example, which is a peaceful place to study（这句话没有主句）. It is library that enable（单数） students full of knowledge. If one（is）full of knowledge from the library, which could contributes to his interests on the academic research, also would inspire their motivation and they might be hardworking in their knowledge field. A result （主句没动词）that they will acquire a good job in the nearly future. Therefore, maintaining library is a duty for the education system not just increase teachers（teachers’） salaries .   

In addition, my second point will concentrates (动词原形) on teachers themselves. Increasing teachers salaries will not encourage them work harder due to the fact that teachers could obtain a high salary in our modern society. That is to say they （are） not lack of money. They have two long vocations every year and also be（are） able to earn money from the private training. So, we can finger out that teachers enjoying a superior welfare. On the other hand, to increase （to increase换成increasing）teachers high rewards is not a（the） best way （to）improve education quality. Owing to （to去掉）high rewards would not enable every teacher will focus（will focus 换成 paying） their energy on （attention to）the class and students. Under this circumstance, we can realize that this is a best way（to）improve education quality.

In spite of the above points, my third reason comes with the same weight. （这句是怎么个关系？In spite of 是表让步关系的 你可以说这个点和上面说的几个点同样重要） We can funding （动词原形）to the training for teachers. Cultivating them to possess much more good qualities. For instance, if a teacher could manage students with humours and responsibility quality in the class. （句意不明确）Which could stimulate students interested in the learning way, and might be inspire their imagination. Moreover, they might be study with the optimistic mind and keeping deeper research. As a result , （拼写错误）students will acquire their success far beyond than their past reached. （与学生成功关系不紧密 可以说成绩提高不少）

In light above these points, we can safely conclude that in order to improve the education quality,（这句换成in order to improve the education quality，we can safely conclude that） to increase （increasing）teachers （teachers’）salaries is not a （the 最高级前用the）best way. Because we have to spend much money on the other aspects not （而不是用but）just focus on the teachers.

jiangruiqianUID: 2838124

04. 18 作业 独立