写的第一篇IBT独立作文，求好心的前辈高手拍砖！！ORZ

CRhahahaUID: 2994233

小妹第一次写的一篇IBT独立作文。宝贵的处女作啊……用了很长时间，写起来也不顺手，觉得写的挺烂的……
在这里厚着脸皮，求各位指点批评。

大家畅所欲言，想怎么拍就怎么拍！！！！！！在这里感谢大家啦！！

ORZ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2008.8.23
do youagree or disagree that a teacher who is serious and strict is more efficientthan a teacher
whouses humors and is easygoing?

Somepeople argue as if it is a general truth that a teacher who is serious andstrict is more efficient than one who uses humors and is easygoing. Studentsmay complete their mission on time because of the strict commands and also gaina relative high score during the exam. But to be frank, tempting as such claimmight be, it is hardly true. There are numerous reasons why I hold noconfidence on it, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.

To begin with,though being serious and strict would ensure the students to complete their assignmenton time. I don’t think it is an advisable way which will encourage them to gaindeeper knowledge for they have paid too much attention on quantity rather thanquality. In contrary, if students were taught in a relaxing atmosphere theywould be interested in the subject which they are learning. As for me, I alwaysfeel sleepy when I was listening a lecture with no jokes and hardly could Ilearn it by heart. However, I will remember the points that made me laugh. Inother words ,the purpose of education is to give knowledge not to assign thehomework. So having a sense of humor may be more efficient than strictcommands.

Additionally, communicatingplays a dispensable role in teaching. An easygoing teacher would communicatewith his/her student freely. During communicating with teachers, students canexchange different ideas, solve problems and acquire extra knowledge which won’tbe found in books. What’s more,for an easygoing teacher even a debate is welcome.Just like a friend of mine, he held an opposite opinion against with histeacher’s. To prove his view, he did a large quantities of studies and madeseveral debates with the teacher. Finally the problem was solved and he was extremelythankful to his teacher for giving him the opportunity to learn so many thingsand never criticize him.How can we imagine a debate between a student and aserious teacher? Without effective communication how could a teacher teacheffectively?

It is truethat teaching in a humors method may slower than a strict way in classes, becausewe will always discuss other things during the class. However, it dosen’t meanthat it is less efficient. Because we have obtain the passion of studying, gotextra knowledge effectively and achieved the purpose of education indeed. Onbalance, I hardly agree that being a serious and strict teacher is more efficientthan a humors and easygoing teacher.

CRhahahaUID: 2994233

谢谢各位了！~~~

CRhahahaUID: 2994233

第二篇~~依然各种乱………………

望大家没事的时候顺便瞧两眼，扔一两个板砖~~~~~


2009.11.07
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

There are many difficult decisions that a government should make in order to ensure the development of a country. One of these decisions is how to spend money on education which plays a indispensable role in a developing society .An increasing number of people began to question that should the government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities? But to be frank ,tempting as such viewpoint might be, I could hardly agree with it .There are numerous reasons why I hold no confidence on it ,and I would explore only a few primary ones here .To begin with ,the college students main activity in daily life is study ,occupying from four to five hours of their day. Therefore sufficient learning resource and comfortable studying environment are extremely important for them, who devoted most of the time to absorb knowledge .For instance, in addition to the cost of building adequate library facilities, a university must also pay every year to keep its collection well organized and up-to-date .A well trained stuff must also care for the materials and help the students, which will also cost a large-scale of fund. In contrast, young children still consume a large amount of time on other aspects, such as entertainments, sports and also spending much more time on sleeping than adults .The education on young children, indeed, is pretty important, but universities, as the specialized place of education, need more investment.

Moreover, universities are served as a place to make studies and researches, which need adequate funds to support .Professors major in different subjects and fields do numerous experiments in the laboratory. So the needs of varies facilities and materials which also should be up-to-date will spend extra money. What's more, advanced science and technology is an important standard to measure the development of a country. There's no doubt that to get entry to the world of well development countries, government should focus its budget on universities in order to improve the strength of scientific research. While a well educated young generation is a basis of the development in future, they do not need such professional support just as universities do.

In addition to the reason listed above, young children still spend most of the time with their parents. As the first teacher of their life, the parents should give them right guidance and specific care which money can not reach.

In conclusion, both investment on young children education and universities are important, I'm personally in favor of the latter, and believe that this decision will make a direct effect on developing the country.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

1# CRhahaha

Do you agree or disagree that a teacher who is serious and strict is more efficient than a teacher who uses humors and is easygoing?

Some people argue as if it is a general truth that a teacher who is serious and strict is more efficient than one who uses humors and is easygoing. Students may complete their mission? (What do you mean by 'mission'? Do you mean 'task', 'homework' or 'assignment'?) on time because of the strict commands and also gain a relatively high score during an exam. But to be frank, tempting as such claims might be, it is hardly true. There are numerous reasons why I hold no confidence on it, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.

To begin with, though being serious and strict would ensure the students to complete their assignments on time. (This is not a complete sentence.) I don’t think it is an advisable way which will encourage them to gain deeper knowledge (So, is it or is it not going to 'encourage them to gain deeper knowledge'? In other words, how far does your 'don't think' cover in this sentence? It is ambiguous.) for they have paid too much attention on quantity rather than quality. In contrary, if students were taught in a relaxing atmosphere they would be interested in the subject which they are learning. As for me, I always feel sleepy when I was listening a lecture with no jokes and hardly could I learn it (What? The 'lecture'? But you can't 'learn' a lecture..) by heart. However, I will remember the points that made me laugh. In other words, the purpose of education is to give knowledge, not to assign the homework. So having a sense of humor may be more efficient than strict commands. (So, you think 'efficiency' means students will be able to remember points..or do you think 'interest' means 'efficiency'? You've written with great command of the language itself but still you've never made it clear what exactly 'efficient' means, and how 'interest' or 'remember the points' end up proving the 'efficiency' of having a sense of humor. Yes, you could say that if the teaching arouses interest in students that means it is efficient, but you'd have to say this, explicitly - because interest is not the only nor the universally accepted single criterium of efficiency.)

Additionally, communicating plays a dispensable (I think you meant 'indispensable'..) role in teaching. An easygoing teacher would communicate with his/her students freely. (You are assuming that a strict and serious teacher would not communicate with his students freely. Is that even a valid assumption? Think about it.) During communicating with teachers, students can exchange different ideas, solve problems and acquire extra knowledge which won’t be found in books. What’s more, for an easygoing teacher even a debate is welcomed. Just like a friend of mine, he held an opposite opinion against with his teacher’s (First, this is not a correct sentence..second, you're simply trying too hard to be 'complex'..why not just 'held an opinion against his teacher's'? Focus on what you want to express, not how many clauses you can wield at one time.). To prove his view, he did a large quantity of studies and made several debates with the teacher. Finally the problem was solved and he was extremely thankful to his teacher for giving him the opportunity to learn so many things and never criticize him. How can we imagine a debate between a student and a serious teacher? (Why not? 'Seriousness' and 'ability to communicate' is not mutually exclusive. There are people who are very serious but who communicate very well, and there are also people who are very funny and easy-going but are difficult to talk to because they blabber and don't really listen.)Without effective communication how could a teacher teach effectively (This must be a question, if not it's not a proper sentence.).

It is true that teaching in a humorous method ('Humorous' is essentially a human thing. 'Methods' can't really be 'humorous'. Unless you mean 'a humor method'..which is still quite an odd expression.) may be slower than a strict way in classes, because we will always discuss other things during the class (Again, this depends on the teacher's ability to control the flow of the class, rather than whether he uses humor and is easy-going..As said, a teacher can be very easy-going but at the same time can control his class very well.). However, it dosen’t mean that it is less efficient. Because we have obtain the passion of studying, got extra knowledge effectively and achieved (I'm not entirely sure what tense you meant to use here but at least be consistent.) the purpose of education indeed. On balance, I hardly agree that being a serious and strict teacher is more efficient than a humors and easygoing teacher.

总结：

你的语言功底很好，但注意表达上不要过于繁复。

论述方面对分论点的展开有太多想当然的地方 - 为什么让学生有interest，让你记住一些points，就能得出某种教学efficient的结论？为什么你会认为严肃的老师就不可能和学生辩论（换句话说，你为什么认为'serious and strict'的定义里一定包括‘不会和学生沟通’）请多想想你的论述是否足够严密。

CRhahahaUID: 2994233

4# mpromanus
真的太感谢您了！抽出宝贵的时间批改我的作文。

的确，指出的很多问题一针见血，自己写的文章怎么看怎么顺，不顺的地方也找不到一个突破的点。
通过点评我觉得我真的还有很多需要改进的地方。

再次谢谢您！

CRhahahaUID: 2994233

第三次的~~~~~谢谢大家赏脸小评~~~~
2009.10.17 NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should alwaysshow audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.In recent years ,watching movies and televisions have occupied a large amount of time in our daily life .People in growing numbers  argue as if it is true that movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished in order to lead to a more harmonious society. But to be frank ,tempting as such claim might to be ,it is hardly true .There are numerous reasons why I hold no confidence on it ,and I would explore only a few primary ones here.

To begin with ,movies and televisions play an indispensable role in our entertainment activities .People go to theatre to search fun and get relaxed ,so a wonderful story with a unique  ending is extremely welcomed .However ,imagine that if you already knew the end of the movie will you feel happy or relaxed ?Do you still want to see any other movie whose characters go into the same tedious result ?Personally ,my answer is definitely not .People won't expect to know the end of the movie before watching it and most of us prefer to speculate how will the story develop .So ,in my opinion ,whether a person should be punished does not depends on what kind of person he is but the kind of theme that the play want to show.

Moreover ,there is hardly a clearly define on a real person .Just like each coin has two sides ,all the people have advantages and disadvantages .No one can claim that he is definitely a good guy or a bad guy .For instance ,"Prison Break" ,a well known series in America ,tells a story about a person named Michael Scofield who make enormous efforts to save his brother out of prison .Is he a good person because he tried to save his relative or must he be punished because he tried to escape from the prison ?Obviously ,neither of the answer is totally correct .Good characters in movies and televisions ought to show different aspects of whom they are performing and should also get close to the people in real life .So whether the person is good or not is depend on different circumstances he involved in.

In addition to the reasons listed above ,I don't think it's a proper method to educate adolescents .Because it is undeniable that ,nowadays ,we live in a society which becomes much more complicated .People are not allowed to be as simple as several years ago .We can no longer hold the view that all good people are being rewarded and all bad people are being punished .Instead ,we should teach children to judge a person in a more comprehensive way and train them to adjust to many different conditions .Movies and televisions have an essential effect on education and ,of course ,they influence a lot on youths .So varies ends of different movies and televisions have more significant meaning which lead young people to think in comprehensive ways than a simple one .

Although it is true that good people should be rewarded and bad people should be punished ,it isn't a good ending of all movies and televisions .A masterpiece owns a unique ending .We can't classify a person only into "good" or "bad" .what's more ,movies and televisions should give the best reflection of our society rather than only tell the theories .In conclusion ,I say without doubt that movies and televisions should not always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.