1108,09AW 同主题写作第1期 ISSUE3 by TonyLic

TonyLicUID：3037612

Educationalinstitutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields ofstudy in which they are unlikely to succeed.
教育机构有责任劝阻学生不要从事不太可能成功的科学研究。

Position:disagree
1. 教育机构和学生对于成功的定义不同。
2. 成功无法预言，很多伟大的发现在开始都显得没有意义。例子，相对论，艺术家。
3. 教育机构的责任在于支持学生兴趣，并给新生提供更多选择。


Nowadays,with the society become more and more utilitarian, people pay more attention tothe research that can make profit. As a result, some educational institutionsmay not support student to do some research that are unlikely to succeed. I don’tthink it is a good choice because different people may have different criterionfor success. Educational institution may treat the research that can make moneyor earn fame as a success one. However, success that a normal people defines
may just want to do what he is interested in, nomatter it is profitable or not. Nobody, included educational institution, cangive an absolute definition of success. Therefore, educational institutionshave no right to impose their standard of success to various of students. Onthe other hand, undoubtedly, every student has equal right to gain support fromtheir educational institutions for their own research, no matter what they wantto pursue.

At thesame time, even some big research that can make money cannot be predicted byanyone when they are discovered at the prime time. For example, the principle ofrelativity, discovered by Einstein who is the greatest physicist in humanhistory, can be totally understood by only three people when it was just discovered.Obviously, at that time no one is able to imagine what it can produce. However,in 21st century, relativity has been applied to many fields, such asGPS and production of microchip and brings millions of profit and convenience toour world. In this case, if someone dissuaded Einstein from pursuing anextremely profound theory that cannot be bringing profit very soon, our sciencewould stay at a lower level and the world would not be such wonderful. Anotherexample is that some artists like painters, writers and composers that cannotbe recognized by contemporary people when they are alive. But their works maybecome famous after many years because of the change of people’s taste. In acertain sense, human beings should thanks to their persistence in their ownfields. Otherwise we would not share so many fantastic artistic creations.

At lastwe should discuss what the responsibility of educational institution is. Is itto decide whether a field that students pursue is success? Definitely no. We’vesaid nobody can assert what is success. Thus educational institutions have noability to do that while that is not their responsibility. I think theresponsibility of educational institution is to encourage student to pursuewhat they love and give enough support, such as appropriate course and goodexperimental instruments. Only in that way, educational institution can focuson pursuing truth and preclude the interference of external circumstance. Inanother aspect, it is impossible for a fresh man in academy field to confirmwhat he is really interested in. So, the educational institutions haveresponsibility to allow students to try different subject instead of dissuadingthem form pursing a fields that is unlikely to succeed.

In conclusion,a good educational institution should emphasize on prompting their studentscreativity more than the success of a research. It is unadvisable for anyeducational institution to persuade students to do something that may besuccessful in future but not come from their own wills.





第二篇，大概一个小时完成，自己后来又花了半个小时修改了一些。现在的问题就是感觉开头和结尾特别写不好，求指点。

beyondzkUID：3013237

我和楼主一样，也刚写完第二篇，也就不知这issue的水有多深，所以，我的一些看法，望lz谨慎采纳。
首先，我认为楼主的逻辑是好的，先说明education institutions 对成功的定义与一般人不尽相同，因而没有能力，也就没有责任去dissuade students。论证了这一点后，就谈了谈institution的责任。所以，文章重点应该是前面的论述。（我的逻辑是，没有谈成功的定义，而是说institution无法预测一个人的成功）而lz此后似乎也转向说明不能预测成功，“At thesame time, even some big research that can make money cannot be predicted byanyone when they are discovered at the prime time. ”，并且举了例子加以说明。而我认为，这种例子应该是，在刚开始，institution认为一个人的study in certain field 看起来是不可能成功的（这一点应该重点强调，而lz的例子似乎强调不多），然后，这个人怎样怎样的成功了。
所以，lz的文章的结构是这样的，论证institution没有责任（分为两个部分说明，一是成功的定义，二是不可预测成功，个人认为对成功的定义的论证过少），然后附带的说明的教育机构的责任（这不是重点，lz详略把握的可以）。

文章的开头，我和lz一样，都是“随着社会......人们......”所以我也不能给出好的建议。只是，题目强调的是field of study ，而lz开始就说research。study 包括很多，我认为开头不应该认定这一特定的方面，而应更加泛一点。

另外，文章中有一些明显的语法和拼写错误如 However, success that a normal people defines （此句语法可能存在问题，把定语从句去掉后就变成了success may just want to...)
may just want to do what he is interested in, nomatter it is profitable or not. Nobody, included (including?)educational institution...

结尾的话，感觉点题不够直接，前面是应该怎样，最后一句It is unadvisable for anyeducational institution to persuade students to do something that may besuccessful in future but not come from their own wills.
也不够直接。

以上愚见，望讨论。

robeenUID：2591919

1# TonyLic 请教下，还是关于introduction的问题。
楼主些的是issue 3的话，我看了下issue 3的要求，是
Write a response in which you discuss theextent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing andsupporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/orexamples that could be used to challenge your position.
从字面上看应该是说明你的观点以后，然后讨论可能的针对你的观点的一些反对意见。
比如，对这个问题持反对意见的话，一些反对意见可能是：成功就是未来有前途，从个人名誉和收获的利益去看待，而按照楼主的分析，可以加以反驳说，成功对于不同的人来说理解不同，简单的理解是片面的。等等。

这些纯属个人的愚见，因为最近比较纠结不同的introduction之间行文起来会有什么不同的问题？
之前看了这里的分析，https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1269737-1-1.html
其实还是很泛泛，没有一个明确的概念。希望板上的大侠能够给予一些指导，万分感谢！！

TonyLicUID：3037612

2# beyondzk 非常感谢批改，我觉得你的意见相当有价值，谢谢！

TonyLicUID：3037612

3# robeen 但是我下的题库就是一个单纯的题目，没见introduction啊，敢问兄台用的啥资料？
至于introduction对文章有什么影响，我暂时也不是很懂，不过看有些人说就是一个指导性说明，不用太纠结里面的细节用语，该怎么写还是怎么写吧。

SilpakornUID：2988290

觉得lz的文章给了我很多思路，
欠缺的就是比较好的例子。

liupei261845UID：3115885

谢谢楼主 楼主的文章让我开拓不少的思路  收藏了















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