[Daily Writing]个人作文贴

tiannipUID：2745078

水平太次，请修改的同学忍耐，谢谢！7.11作业
题目：
Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement:
People should have hobbies and dophysical activities that are very different from their own work. 10,4,10

作业：
There was an argument that ifpeople should have hobbies and does physical activities that are very differentfrom their work. Some people would think a hobby or do physical activity thatwas similar with work might have benefit to their career. But I do not agreewith them.

First, people should takerest after work. Working mean you need to do some thing you like to do or disliketo do for eight hours in one day and five days each week. After working youshould have a rest to release your mind and body from job otherwise you mayburn out. A hobby that is different from work could make some part of your brain,which is lacking of excising in work activity. And the muscle, which is not usedin work, could take excise by a physical activity different from work.

Secondly, you can open yourmind by having a hobby, which is different form your work. Take someinteresting thing as a hobby mean you will spend lots of energy on it. You canlearn a lot of knowledge about your hobby. For me, my hobbies are paper folding.It is very different from my work researching and developing as a engineer. Ihave learned some knowledge, which I could not get in my job. Such as differentattribution of different paper, how to consoled the folded paper by water. OnceI make a object by paper-folding to explain my idea when I was working.

May be some people have ahobby or do physical activities that are not different from their own work. Butit would be a rare condition. And I suggest they should find some other hobbyand do a physial activities they are not used to do.

应小呆UID：3109940

牛头兄好~
欢迎你来改我的作文https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1280678&pid=1775350653&page=4&extra=

PS：我大学二年级的时候写过关于牛头马面的文章，引用过你那幅图，现在看来好有亲切感~

牛头兄的字数好像不够吖，另外就是最好把单词之间分的开一些，不然我觉得电脑评分的部分会受影响吧？

There was an argument that if people should have hobbies and does physical activities that are very different from their work. Some people would think （that， 否则一句话里就有两个谓语了have和think） a hobby or doing physical activity（or表示并列，前后性质相同，考虑到前后文，应当用名词更好些） that was similar with work might have benefit to their career. But I do not agreewith them." G( K& o# i. K% Z
First, people should take rest after work. Working mean you need to do some thing you like to do or dislike to do for eight hours in one day and five days each week. After working（after work） you should have a rest to release your mind and body from job， otherwise you may burn out. A hobby that is different from work could make some part of your brain（后面缺成分？让brain怎么样呢？）,which is lacking of excising in work activity. And the muscle, which is not used in work, could take excise by a physical activity different from work.) [. V, f8 Z) \  a4 D1 B2 c7 g


Secondly, you can open your mind by having a hobby, which is different form your work. Take（taking否则一句话就有两个谓语了） some interesting thing as a hobby mean（means） you will spend lots of energy on it. You can learn a lot of knowledge about（from?） your hobby. For me, my hobbies are paper folding.It is very different from my work ,researching and developing as a engineer(猜猜看，加了逗号之后，绿色的这部分做什么成分呢？). I have learned some knowledge, which I could not get in my job. Such as different attribution of different paper, how to consoled（不太明白是什么意思，你能给解释一下吗？） the folded paper by water. Once I make a object by paper-folding to explain my idea when I was working.


May be some people have a hobby or do physical activities that are not different from their own work. But it would be a rare condition. And I suggest they should find some other hobby and do a physial activities they are not used to do.


字数不够，论证不是太有力。

tiannipUID：2745078

谢谢你帮我修改作文。
刚刚接触独立作文，水平实在是汗颜。估计还停留在高中阶段。

tiannipUID：2745078

7,12 独立写作
题目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office

作业
There are group of people who were working at home instead of working in the office. Working at home is becoming more popular. And we call it as SOHO. But in my opinion, I think working at home though computers or telephones is not better than working in the office.
First, some jobs could be difficult to finished at home using computers or telephones. But it would be dissolved easily by face to face discussion. For example, we need to design a cover of handbook. It is needed to discuss the position of each item such as title, logo and image. If working in the office, it will be very easy to show our idea by a draft. But working at home, it will be a complicated job to explain the thought about detail of design only by telephone.
Secondly, working in the office mean you have be working with colleague in the same place. It could be useful to promote private communication with each other. You can have some interest conversation such as news, weather and hobby when you have a break. It is important to promote private communication. And you may get idea from this conversation to dissolved problem in your job or life.
Working at home also has some advantage. You can arrange own schedule, you can work efficiently when you are full of energy. But comparison with the advantage of working in office, I think it could be ignore. So I disagree that working at home though computes or telephones is better than working in the office.

应小呆UID：3109940

3# tiannip

来而不往非礼也~

tiannipUID：2745078

独立作文一篇，以word的形式上传的。麻烦修改的同学用word的修订模式进行修改。应该会方便一些。完成时间：1小时 ：（
字数：334

after90sundaeUID：3132327

改好了

smenxiaoUID：2929493

不好意思，我等级不够发不了附件，只能贴这里了。

8月1日 20090227NA

A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

When people are looking for job, they may face a difficult option, a job with more vacation time or a job with high salary but less vacation time. For(In) my opinion, I think a job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

First, if people have a job with more vacation time, it will be possible to spend time on their hobbies(改成First, a job with more vacation time will enable people to spend more time on their hobbies好像好一点). People would have hobbies(改成Everyone enjoys some hobbies好像好一点), such as playing game, swimming, shopping or collection. Whatever they choose as hobby, it would need to spend times to get more information, to communitycommunicate with other personpeople who hashave the same hobby. To do some thing which is interesting for a person is the best way to relax them. After taking rest, people have enough energy to face the new works. This is one reason why I think a job with more vacation time is better.

Secondly, taking a job with more vacation time means people could have more time to compare(?or accompany?) with their family. They have enough time to take a travel with family, to watch movies with their lover. More communication would promote family relationship.
In Contrast(On the contrary), it will be a terrible thing if one has less vacation to spend with family.(觉得这句话有点啰嗦，可以留下”if one”后面的，与后句直接连接) Children may think their parents do not love them, or wife may think her husband do not want to stay with her.

Thirdly, it seems better to have high salary.
Because people may feel good to buy some expensive think what they want. (这两句话放在段首有些歧义，可以变成”Thirdly, though it may seem better to have high salary because people may be content with the luxuries they bought”)
But I think it only makes someone feel happy temporallytemporarily. This feeling of happiness will not last a long time. On the other hand, money cannot buy anything, such as love. But you may receive your love by spending time on searching.

So, in my opinion, a job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

tiannipUID：2745078

不记得花了多长时间了，中间PPT跳出来过一次。呵呵。

找翅膀的兔子UID：2854568

改好了~~也谢谢你的修改~

tiannipUID：2745078

byebyehakuUID：3124349

TPO10 综合写作我下下来了  改完了传上来~~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1775496663
这是我的作文贴  欢迎批改~~~谢谢~~！！！

byebyehakuUID：3124349

改好了~~

tiannipUID：2745078

byebyehakuUID：3124349

文章我我下了 改好了发上来
这是我的作文 欢迎批改~~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-6-1.html