Daily Writing by bonism

bonismUID：2973654

7.11
综合 TPO1
The lecture talks about whether a four-dayweek policy is good for companies. The talker states his opinions against thetheory stated in the passage from three following ways.

First of all, new workers cost much. Thatis to say, the company should offer training and medical benefits for newworkers. These increase costs may decrease the company profits. So it isunwarranted that hiring new workers with 80% salary will cost the same.

Second, workers may have low efficiency. Incontrast to the passage, a four-day week may not improve the morale of workers.Instead, it is possible that workers spend five days to deal with some taskswhich can be done in four days. Thus, hiring more workers while dealing withthe same amount of jobs may become extra wastes of resource.

Finally, fewer work days may do harm toworkers' career. Suppose that, if a company wants to promote a new manager,which person will probably be chosen, a person who works four days a week, or aperson that works five-day? Definitely the later one has more opportunity inthe promotion. So even though a four-day workweek can save more time to staywith families, as the passage says, it will, however, stop the advancing of workers'career.


独立
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:
People should have hobbies and do physicalactivities that are very different from their own work.

I agree to the opinion that people shouldhave hobbies and do sports in a completely different way from their work.

In our daily life, we deal with our workeight hours a day and five days a week. That is definitely a long time and itis common for people to get tired of their work after facing the same problemfor so long. What will happen to our brain after trying to solve mathematicalproblems for a whole day? Do our minds get twisted when we’ve thought about a complexlogical puzzle for three hours? Our brain will work in a low efficiency, justlike machines, and should have a rest. So, a completely new mode is needed inorder to make sure our brain actually relaxed. And nothing will be better thandoing hobbies and physical activities which are different from our work.

Hobbies and physical activities that differfrom work can not only relax our minds but also relax our bodies. For example,my work is solving computer problems, it is a logical work. And in my freetime, I prefer playing basketball because I don’t have to care about anythingrelated to my work when playing basketball. Besides, by devoting myself to basketball,I run and jump again and again, which improve my physical conditions. Playingbasketball, as my hobby, helps me get rid of my work permanently and build meup. So, different hobbies or physical activities from work benefit me a lot.

Finally, if a person’s hobbies and her/hiswork are similar, s/he may get into a worse-and worse circulation. As mentionedabove, people’s efficiency become lower as they spending more time on onething. It is possible that they are also low-efficient when doing hobbies oractivities in the same mode as their work. Thus, hobbies and activities do notimprove their spirit but continue to make them more tired. In this situation,they would come into a negative circulation in which their morale become lowerand lower.


新手上路,请多包涵!~

zw9191UID：2766986

综合 TPO1
The lecture talks about whether a four-day weekpolicy is good for companies. The talker states his opinions against the theorystated in the passage from three following ways.

First of all, new workers cost much. That is tosay, the company should offer training and medical benefits for new workers (as well as additional workingspace and computers). These increase <Wrong usage?> (extra/additional)
costs may decrease thecompany profits. So it is unwarranted <I appreciate it!> that hiring new workers with80% salary will cost the same
(less,so that it can make the profits more.) <according to the readingpassage>.

<Second, workers may have lowefficiency. In contrast to the passage, a four-day week may not improve themorale of workers. Instead, it is possible that workers spend five days to dealwith some tasks which can be done in four days. Thus, hiring more workers whiledealing with the same amount (quantity) of jobs may become extra wastes of resource.>
<Youdid not seem to catch this point…>
(Readingpassage: reduce unemployment rate. The workload for each employee would belighter.
Talker:Hiring new employees is costly so that the number of openings wouldn’t increase.Employers may raise the expectations by pressuring them to finish five-day workwithin four days.)

Finally, fewer work days may do harm to workers'career. Supposethat, if a company wants to promote a new manager, which person will probablybe chosen, a person who works four days a week, or a person that worksfive-day? <No need to state in this way> Definitely the later one (the latter) has more opportunity in thepromotion. So even though a four-day workweek can save more time to stay withfamilies, as the passage(readingpassage)says, it will, however, stop the advancing of workers' career.


总结：
部分用词错误。
部分观点没有准确把握，还需多加练习。
综合写作最好不用太描述性的文字和修辞。


独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
People should have hobbies and do physical activitiesthat are very different from their own work.

I agree to the opinion that people should havehobbies and do sports in a completely different way from their work.

In our daily life, we deal with our work eighthours a day and five days a week. That is definitely a long time and it iscommon for people to get tired of their work after facing the same problem forso long. What will happen to our brain after trying to solve mathematical problems for a whole day? Do our minds get twisted when we’ve thought about a complex logical puzzle for threehours? Our brain will work in a low efficiency, just like machines, and should have a rest.[zw1]
So, a completely new mode isneeded in order to make sure our brain actually relaxed. And nothing will bebetter than doing something related to our hobbies andphysical activities which are different from our work.

Hobbies and physical activities that differ fromwork can not only relax our minds but also relax our bodies. For example, mywork is solving computer problems, it which is a logicalwork. And in my free time, I prefer playing basketball because I don’t have tocare about anything related to my work when playing basketball it.Besides, by devoting myself to basketball, I run and jump again and again,which improves my physical conditions. Playing basketball,as my hobby, helps me get rid of my work permanently and build me up. So,different hobbies or physical activities from work benefit me a lot.

Finally, if a person’s hobbies and her/his workare similar, s/he may get into a worse-and-worse circulation. As mentioned above,people’s efficiency become lower as they spending more time on one a single thing.It is possible that they are also low-efficient when doing hobbies[zw2]
or activities in the samemode as their work. Thus, hobbies and activities do not improve their spiritbut continue to make them more tired. In this situation, they would come into anegative circulation in which their morale become lower and lower.



文章第一部分认为长时间工作会使效率低下，需要休息，可用爱好和运动调剂。这一部分写得不错，个别句子和用词值得斟酌，使之更完美（若作为考场作文这点可忽略）。
第二部分认为运动有益身心，并用自己的例子来论述。OK。
第三部分试图从反面论证，但同样是用效率低下来解释，有重复之嫌。

[zw1]有点拗口

[zw2]Do hobby?

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎来改我的作文
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1280678&pid=1775350653&page=4&extra=
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:- E! q/ V( n; ^
People should have hobbies and do physicalactivities that are very different from their own work.0 k7 L1 a8 v1 f- S- N
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I agree to the opinion that people should have hobbies and do sports in a completely different way from their work.（最好对它进行一下扩充，这样太单薄了，我觉得托福作文和高考作文的思路其实差不多）0 W0 B3 ~: q4 D

In our daily life, we deal with our workeight（？） hours a day and five days a week. That is definitely a long time and iti s common for people to get tired of their work after facing the same problem for so long. What will happen to our brain after trying to solve mathematicalproblems for a whole day? Do our minds get twisted（我不太明白这个用法是不是正确，你能解释一下这句话的来源吗？） when we’ve thought about a complexlogical puzzle for three hours? Our brain will work in a low efficiency, justlike machines（that has kept working for a long time）, and should have a rest. So, a completely new mode is needed inorder to make sure our brain actually relaxed. And nothing will be better than doing hobbies and physical activities which are different from our work."

w" z) \% W3 g7 W
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Hobbies and physical activities that differ from work can not only relax our minds but also relax our bodies. For example,my work is solving computer problems, it is a logical work. And in my freetime, I prefer playing basketball because I don’t have to care about anything related to my work when playing basketball. Besides, by devoting myself to basketball,I run and jump again and again, which improve my physical conditions. Playing basketball, as my hobby, helps me get rid of my work permanently and build me (my body?)up. So, different hobbies or physical activities from work benefit me a lot.



Finally, if a person’s hobbies and her/his work are similar, s/he may get into a worse-and worse circulation. As mentioned above, people’s efficiency become lower as they spending more time on one thing. It is possible that they are also low-efficient when doing hobbies or activities in the same mode as their work. Thus, hobbies and activities do not improve their spirit but continue to make them more tired. In this situation,they would come into a negative circulation in which their morale become lowerand lower. * y8 \, d! O( p0 ~" v

要注意单词和单词分开，不然我觉得电脑阅卷得分的部分会蛮吃亏的。
另外就是论证不够充分有力，例子不具有特殊性
加油↖(^ω^)↗