独立作文求批改求指点

小月半UID: 2865981

09.06.27
Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement?
For future careersuccesss ,is relate well to other people important than studying hard atschool.


Nowdays one person who want to achieve the career success,must bearmed with the vast quantity of professional knowledge as well as goodopportunities .Both the two thing make the success available .But for futurecareer success ,I think ,is relate well to other people more important thanstudying hard at school.

Thefirst reason that run into my mind is that other people such as friends andteachers can offer persons proposals in how to study and act better and moreefficient.With the aids of the other people ,for example teachers ,students canovercome the difficulty in the study and research,who can also provide studentswith the good manners to master the textbooks which is helpful for them to decreasethe unnecessary effort enhancing the efficiency of their study and the progressof the research.There is no doubt that ,for students who are struck in learningone definition ,others' help can tremendously cut down the vigour that they putwhich they can be engaged in the rest .Hence with others' assistance personscan grasp anything that they are focusing on much better.

Another vital thing I have to insist on is that other people can providethe precious opportunities to persons which they can not achieve just dependingon their hard work .Although they wire in work and are supreme in the theirprofession among their colleagues,they can not even gain the appreciation oftheir bosses from so many colleagues with the same background .Everyday you goto work at the first time, pour all your concentration on your work ,nevercomplain , and view your work as your whole world .At the same time your contributionto the task is paramount.But you still remain in the same position and yoursuperior may be promoted .In this circumstance what your need is arecommendation from others who recognize the worth of yours in case that youare always hidden in the dark of the night.Therefore hard work at school createthe pearl ,and other persons are the collectors that find the genuine pearl inthe sand .

From the above argument that others people can give help for studentsstudy ,offer opportunities and affect the personality ,we can easily assertthat career success is relate well to other people more important than studyinghard at school.
Word Count: 387
第三个reason
Besides other persons can affect students the personalities andcultivate them to challenge and compete,those that is essential for the futuresuccess .At school teachers widen students horizon by the interesting science knowledge,andsew the seed of pursuing the truth and creativity.Students can also learn howto cooperate and communicate with others through the relation of friends .还有我当时列提纲的时候准备了3个reasons ，但是文章写到第二个字数就已经差不多了，您看一下两个reasons是否足够支撑这个观点，是不是前面交代的太罗嗦了？第三个是否需要？。。。辛苦了！！！

小月半UID: 2865981

求高手指点啊