<Daily Writing>——Dawn的作文贴

1070810820UID: 2639450

12月18日考T
从今天开始，保持每天写作状态
求拍，求赐教~

10.18日以后写的都贴这里：

1070810820UID: 2639450

10月3日 20091031NA Itis often not a good thing to move to a new  city or a new country because of the lose of oldfriends?

    It's always hard when you find yourself being alone in a completely unfamiliar city without any friends. We may fell upset and disappointed about everything that is different from the original city, and even cry to ourselves at night. Thus many people don't think it would be a good thing to move to a new city or a new country which is distant from our old friends. Nonetheless, considering the fast developing communicating technology, the possibility that we could adapt ourselves to the new constitution and make new friends, I believe moving to a different place is not so bad.
    First, with modern communicating technology, such as mobile phone, Skype and MSN, we could get in touch with our old friends easily and quickly, which helps to kill lot loneliness. For example, ever since I first arrived Harbin, which is thousands of kilometers away from my hometown, to attend the college, I have kept calling my parents and friends every Saturday night, and as soon as the phone call is done, I would feel rather happier and less lonely. Therefore, by modern techniques, distance could no longer separate us from our old friends.
    Second, new surroundings could bring us new people and give us the oppotunity to make new friends with them. Especially when we are in college, there are different people from different places, most of them are not local and have no familiar people in the campus. We are facing the same problem, and this very problem just ties us together tightly and make us know better about each other. We share our loneliness and anxiety, and soon after that, we become good friends. Thus the process of making new friends in a strange city is also the process of getting to know about a new city.
    Last, but not least, when we become familiar with the difference between the new city and the original one, we may adapt ourselves to this difference and find the positive sight in our new life. Just as proposed by some psychological scientists, we are getting through a culture-shock stage， steping up to a higher lever where we fit ourselves into the new city and get adapted to it. As long as we overcome those negative feelings inside our hart, we begin to find out the fascinating aspects.
    To sum up, moving to a different place could be a terrific thing as far as we get adapted to the new situation and make some new friends while keeping touch with our old friends.

第一次写，没限时，求猛拍~

阿叶UID: 3145578

It's always hard when you find yourself being alone in a completely unfamiliar city without any friends. We may fell upset and disappointed about everything that is different from the original city, and even cry to ourselves at night. Thus many people don't think it would be a good thing to move to a new city or a new country which is distant from our old friends. Nonetheless, considering the fast developing communicating technology, the possibility that we could adapt ourselves to the new constitution and make new friends, I believe moving to a different place is not so bad.
(开头点明主题,很好,但是,觉得一个意思表达的句子太多了,看上去有些啰嗦…)
% i, c( t) [* p0 o# b5 L* ^& D9 I    First, with modern communicating technology, such as mobile phone, Skype and MSN, we could get in touch with our old friends easily and quickly, which helps to kill (用kill很形象,但是会不会有点口语化呀…这只是个人观点~) lot loneliness. For example, ever since I first arrived Harbin, which is thousands of kilometers away from my hometown, to attend the college, I have kept calling my parents and friends every Saturday night, and as soon as the phone call is done, I would feel rather happier and less lonely. Therefore, by modern techniques, distance could no longer separate us from our old friends.! r  \: R  (首尾相呼应,这个非常好~)h/ A" [, T+
    Second, new surroundings could bring us new people and give us the oppotunity to make new friends with them. Especially when we are in college, there are different people from different places, most of them are not local and have no familiar people in the campus. We are facing the same problem, and this very problem just ties us together tightly and make us know better about each other. We share our loneliness and anxiety, and soon after that, we become good friends. Thus the process of making new friends in a strange city is also the process of getting to know about a new city.4 l9 T, }: x2 ?
    Last, but not least,(这个我记得没有逗号的八~…] when we become familiar with the difference between the new city and the original one, we may adapt ourselves to this difference and find the positive sight in our new life. Just as proposed by some psychological scientists, we are getting through a culture-shock stage， steping up to a higher lever where we fit ourselves into the new city and get adapted to it. As long as we overcome those negative feelings inside our hart, we begin to find out the fascinating aspects.   Z! R6 I7 i3 c8 p
    To sum up, moving to a different place could be a terrific thing as far as we get adapted to the new situation and make some new friends while keeping touch with our old friends.

我觉得LZ的写作技巧很有诶~大词难词都有，思路很清晰，字数也够，值得学习。结尾其实可以在长一点~

1070810820UID: 2639450

10月5日 20100925NA Do you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past

I've always heard my father complaining about the teenagers. He complained about their strange hairstyle, disordered lifestyle and relationship between boys and girls. In his minds, with the help from the fast development of human technology, the youth are getting more and lazier and lost some precious qualities of their ancients. Nonetheless, as one of those "lazy boys" described by my father, I still have some dominant points, which my father may failed to discover, to present in defense for our teenagers.
First, I think today's young people are much more capable in dealing with complex situation, especially multicultural and international problems. We have been taught to open our mind and be ready to accept everything outside our world, which greatly enhances our ability to survive on ourselves. For instance, ever since I was a child in primary school, I have been learning English as a second language and taught about the manners which are useful when communicating with foreigners. As soon as I got into college and met with many students from different countries, these important tips help me get along well with them. Thus in the sense of multicultural and international communication, the young people in today are definitely more capable and independent than before.
Second, analyzing this problem from the social level, we could find out that through the change of our economy, our society has become more and more relied on the work of young people. They have been playing a much more significant role in our social economy. This helps them grow up quickly and set on their own career much earlier than before. Think about the founders of Google and Facebook. Both are millionaires in their 20s with a giant company to run. They have made a great contribution to the society by creating thousands of jobs, and achieved their success and recognize from the whole world in a very young age. Actually, the relationship between their parents and them has just been reversed. Their parents will need to depend on them in sense of economy!
Last but not least, in the realm of psychology, young people in today is more aggressive than before. They may feel ashamed if they need to depend on their parents, because dependence is a reflection of incapability. Psychologists say that when we accept the help from our parents, we may be regarded as childish and talentless. We may get mocked and isolated by our friends, which is a huge damage in our personal confidence. Therefore the young people would avoid the aid from anyone else, especially their parents, to live on their own.
To sum up, with a more open-minded education, and more chances to establish their own success in the early age, and the refuse to get help from others in order to be admired by their mates, the young people are definitely less dependent on their parents than before.
没限时，自己改过

1070810820UID: 2639450

3# 阿叶
谢谢批改~原来的帖子已经删好了~~

hearteyesUID: 2904189

我想请问一下。。每天的作文题目从哪里看呢

1070810820UID: 2639450

6# hearteyes
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1285161-1-1.html

hearteyesUID: 2904189

6# hearteyes
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1285161-1-1.html
1070810820 发表于 2011-10-5 19:36

我看到了，谢谢！嘿嘿

hearteyesUID: 2904189

我是跟你一组的~我把你的帖子存起来，刚写完，我来看看啊。。。我英语不好。。改的不好的话你不要生气啊。。我肯定认真看的！

1070810820UID: 2639450

9# hearteyes
怎么会呢，大家共同进步~

reginakishuUID: 3110732

10月5日 20100925NA Do you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past
I've always heard my father complaining about the teenagers. He complained about their  ...
1070810820 发表于 2011-10-5 16:49

10月5日 20100925NA Do you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past

) P# R* d  n" P6 t( k( J" x
I've always heard my father complaining about the teenagers. He complained about their strange hairstyle, disordered lifestyle and relationship between boys and girls. In his minds, with the help from the fast development of human technology, the youth are getting more and lazier and lost some precious qualities of their ancients. Nonetheless, as one of those "lazy boys" described by my father, I still have some dominant points, which my father may failed to discover, to present in defense for our teenagers.  q. F  r8 R6 Y. a. S/ I) t5 w
First, I think today's young people are much more capable in dealing with complex situation, especially multicultural and international problems. We have been taught to open our mind and be ready to accept everything outside our world, which greatly enhances our ability to survive on ourselves. For instance, ever since I was a child in primary school, I have been learning English as a second language and taught about the manners which are useful when communicating with foreigners.←感觉这句有点变扭 As soon as I got into college and met with many students from different countries, these important tips help me get along well with them. Thus in the sense of multicultural and international communication, the young people in today are definitely more capable and independent than before.（我感觉这段和主旨联系不大，没讲和父母独不独立吖?）
  B" h+ R1 z, e2 qSecond, analyzing this problem from the social level, we could find out that through the change of our economy, our society has become more and more relied on （the work of ）young people. They (have been ) are playing a much more significant role in our social economy. This helps (感觉用push顺一点) them grow up quickly and set on their own career much earlier than before. Think about the founders of Google and Facebook. Both （are）became millionaires in their 20s (with a giant company to run)(to run有点别扭，可以改成administrating/managing a gaint company at the same time). They have made a great contribution to the society by creating thousands of jobs, and achieved their success and recognize from the whole world in a very young age.（一直好像只说了社会依赖年轻人，没有说年轻人不依赖父母） Actually, the relationship between their parents and them has just been reversed. Their parents will need to depend on them in sense of economy!
/ t$ k$ I6 |. `2 C! v( S* _Last but not least, in the realm of psychology, young people in today is more aggressive than before. They may feel ashamed if they need to depend on their parents, because dependence is a reflection of incapability. Psychologists say that when we accept the help from our parents, we may be regarded as childish and talentless. We may get mocked and isolated by our friends, which is a huge damage (in) to our personal confidence. Therefore the young people would avoid the aid from anyone else, especially their parents, to live on their own." L3 [! {$ f  ?+ ?8 P8 u1 w! e
To sum up, with a more open-minded education, and more chances to establish their own success in the early age, and the refuse to get help from others in order to be admired by their mates, the young people are definitely less dependent on their parents than before.
+ K0 p9 M2 T, q: y/ O" h9 G没限时，自己改过



楼主你写的很好哒~用的词汇很多的~句式多~连词顺畅~~~
但是我觉得你好像有点偏题~或者是我理解的问题啦~~~我自己作文超级很烂的~一起进步哦哦~~

1070810820UID: 2639450

11# reginakishu
谢谢你的修改~

1070810820UID: 2639450

10.7 日的独立

albert199010UID: 2726886

10.7独立写作修改

南瓜0729UID: 3174429

Science is one of the most important things of modern human civilization; however, it doesn't belong to everyone living in the human society. Only few of us could understand clearly what science is about, and for most of us, we don't know any of those sophisticate theories, nor is there any necessity for us to know about them. We just care what these researches could bring to us. Can they bring us any convenience? Can they help us solve problems? Can they make our life better? If not, or not so effective as expected, people will feel uninterested about them, and oppose the government supporting these scientific research using their tax. However, I still believe we should continue on these researches.第一段太长了 而且前面的论述一直是不同意这个观点的啊
First, as discussed above, the importance in some scientific realm could only be understood by those who have specific background knowledge. For most of the public, the lack of knowledge limited their ability in judging the importance of the research work. For instance, as a post graduate student of mechanical engineering, I have been working to improve the accuracy of a drilling machine from 0.1 to 0.01. （我不太懂这个，但是这个是不是说的误差呢？准确度不应该变小吧？？minimize the error？？）Some of my family members don't understand the difference in（from） adding one zero behind the dogma and think it is worthless wasting so much time studying it. But I know this additional zero could significantly improve the drilling technology in our country and help our manufacturing companies be more competitive in the global market. Thus, the background knowledge is significantly important in our judge.例子很好
Second, even if we do have the background scientific knowledge, we still could undervalue the scientific research because of the long period before we could find the way to apply them in our day-to-day life. Many great inventions come out from research which at first seems completely impractical. When Einstein tried to figure out what the world will become under the velocity of light, which could only be understood by imagination and sophisticate mathematical work, his fame is only limited in the field of theoretical physics. This kept until they found out the great power in nuclear weapon using his famous equation E=MC2. The world finally understands the practical meaning in his work through the astonishing explosion of United States’ nuclear bomb in the Second World War.
应该有个结尾段吧