<Daily writing作文小组>——hearteyes的作文贴

hearteyesUID: 2904189

10.16考，现在每天一套托福独立+综合，一套GMAT
希望与大家一起努力！基础很差，正在努力ing

hearteyesUID: 2904189

10月5日 20100925NADo you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parentsthan in the past



Nowadays,we can often heard more and more parents complain that their children aredependent. They point out children almost never do any housework at home. Thesimple things they do everyday are eating, studying and playing. But I thinkthe adolescents, especially in China, are more independent than ever.


Tobegin with, young people must face more competition than their parents did,which evenly often start at primary school.
They usually take part in many groups such as painting, writing, playingthe piano, or other tutorial classes. All of these classes cost much part timeof children so they have no time to play with other friends. But if those haveone more advantage probably means that earlier teaching made younger moreindependent than in the past. For instance, my nephew is in the first form butbefore he went to primary school he had learnt Chinese painting for two yearsand went to English school every Saturday. These courses made him studyeveryday at a time just need to play with other children. Early education madeyoung people precocious and less dependent.


Secondly,in modern society, children’ parents are both workers is a general phenomenonwhich imply they have not enough time to look after their children, so youngpeople have to independent. What’s more, since Chinese family usually has onlyone child, no sisters or brothers, they should learn how to take care ofthemselves when they were alone. This made adolescents think more, learn more,do more. When I was in high school, many of my classmates were leaving far awayfrom home to school for well education. They must do many things independentlyin residence during the term. So, I think it may be a tendency of being more independent.

1070810820UID: 2639450

Nowadays, we can often hear more and more parents complaining that their children are dependent. They point out that children (almost never) hardly do any housework at home. The (simple) only things they do everyday are eating, studying and playing. But I think the adolescents, especially in China, are more independent than ever. - I' X! W# H% E7
To begin with, young people must face more competition than their parents (did)删, which (evenly often) even start at primary school. # [+ ?6 e0 L2 G3 XThey usually take part in many groups such as painting, writing, playing the piano, or other tutorial classes. All of these classes cost much part time (of children)删 so they have no time to play with (other) their friends. But if those have one more advantage probably means that earlier teaching made younger more independent than in the past. 表述不通顺，建议改为In spite of these disadvantages, these courses really have made one contribution that early teaching make the Youth more independent than before. For instance, my nephew is in the first form but before he went to primary school he had learnt Chinese painting for two years and went to English school every Saturday. These courses made him studying everyday at a time just need to play with other children.建议改为These courses made him studying everyday at a particular period of time when he just have the chance to play with his friends. Thus, early education made young people precocious and less dependent. 例子好像没太突出写您nephew的independent丫~
) a8 S3 ^7 P+ V2 ? Secondly, in modern society, the family situation that parents are both workers is a general phenomenon, which implies they (have not) don’t have enough time to look after their children, so young people have to be independent. What’s more, since Chinese family usually has only one child, no sisters or brothers, they (should) need to learn how to take care of themselves when they (were) are alone. This made adolescents think more, learn more and do more. When I was in high school, many of my classmates (were leaving) went far away from home (to school for) in search of well education. They (must) need to do many things in dependently in residence during the term. So, I think it may be a tendency of being more independent.

很多语法上的错误丫~以后写的时候千万注意哦~
多用写连接词或词组使表述更通畅
Despite…
In spite of…
Make contribution to …
benefit
Thus, therefore
Meanwhile, besides
Nonetheless, on the other hand

reginakishuUID: 3110732

2# hearteyes



10月5日 20100925NADo you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parentsthan in the past

1 z7 D. x0 N1 r# N
Nowadays,we can often heard more and more parents complainING that their children are dependent. (They point out children almost never do any housework at home. The simple things they do everyday are eating, studying and playing. )← 是不是可以用倒置来写比较好But I thinkthe adolescents, especially in China, are more independent than ever.

Tobegin with, young people must face more competition than their parents did,which (evenly ?) often start at primary school.
7 y8 Q1 a0 I5 Q$ Q& pThey usually take part in many groups such as painting, writing, playingthe piano, or other tutorial classes. All of these classes cost so much part time (of children 不要了) so they have no time to play with other friends. But if those haveone more advantage probably means that earlier teaching made younger moreindependent than in the past. （啥意思?）For instance, my nephew is in the first form butbefore he went to primary school he had learnt Chinese painting for two yearsand went to English school every Saturday. These courses made him studyeveryday at a time just need to play with other children.（建议增加：Thus，he has strong confidence that he can handle anything. He seldom talk to his parents and never aked them for any advice, each time he got in trouble or meet some problems he just solve it with the help from his friends，teachers or himself） 突然从例子得出这个结论好像太突兀啦~~~Early education madeyoung people precocious and less dependent.3 z! z4 `: ^. B5 {1 Q- \) l$ c8 F


Secondly,in modern society, children’ parents are both workers（双职工家庭好像是 two-job family） is a general phenomenonwhich imply they have not enough time to look after their children, so youngpeople have to be independent. What’s more, since Chinese family usually has onlyone child, no sisters or brothers, they should learn how to take care ofthemselves when they were alone. This made adolescents think more, learn more,do more. When I was in high school, many of my classmates were leaving far awayfrom home to school for well education. They must do many things independentlyin residence during the term. （建议增加，this situation pushed them to be independent since it`s impossible for them to get help from parents immediately.再衔接结论会顺畅）So, I think it may be a tendency of being more independent.