请问我这个作文能给多少分？22号就考试了。

wangrpg998UID: 3186498

Topics:
Some people believe that in order to improve the public health the number of sports facilities should be increased. Others believe this it has little eddect and other measures are needed to improve the public health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


Our world grows rapidly, technology promotes the development of our society but it also laid a physical burden on most individuals.Apparently, we become more dependent on the convenience that technology has brought that it leads to a more sedentary lifestyle of our inhabitants, which has posed a threaten
to our public health.


I believe that the behaviour government assuming the obligation to arrange a wide range of facilities
does
benefit our health a lot. As sports has played an important role as a part of our daily entertainment, and their relevant affairs do attract our focus on them , adequate facilities on sports will persuade residents walk out more and less time-consuming at home or on the Internet, Obviously, doing a lot of sports not only enable us improving body fitness, but also strengthen our relationship towards other people and family bones towards their relatives. Specifically if we go to work out frequently ,we are able to meet tons of citizens who share the same values on sports, in which way , more activated attempts we will do these facilities and more physical and mental health we would have.


Despite we can profit enormously from this, some people think otherwise. Critics may argue that allocating budget on sports facilities is neither economical nor efficiently. How much effort would it take after the fierce pursuing trend on sports? Most facilities exclusively for sports broken usually, who should pay the fee for their regularly mending? Serious problems still have not been tackled, therefore, it is not sagacious taking urgent measures on supporting that. Compare this doubtful measure, some people believe that in order to improve people's health, the best way to achieve this goal is to curb the proliferation of contamination. For example, government should limit the consumption cars and at the same time, raising individuals' awareness of taking public transports.


Overall, my personal view is although whether sports facilities benefit on public health better than the extra measure remains a question. However, of all the arguments, there is one thing for sure, sports' facilities are indispensable currently.

bqianaUID: 193168

运气好 6  不好 5-5.5

wangrpg998UID: 3186498

2# bqiana     感谢评点！！
   我觉得我还得再磨磨。。这个还被我把语法问题都修正了才6分，估计考试那个状态会差一点。就5.5了。。

cxxathkUID: 3088896

还有语法错误，而且我个人感觉句子还可以拧出水来- -

立马车UID: 3039792

楼上是广告！！！！！！
写的跟我的水平一致~~~