新g Argu102 求拍~

ykhjyUID: 3013326

102) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, we predict that our new jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendously profitable enterprise.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.



In this argument, the arguer predicates that a new jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable. To bolster the predication, the arguer points out that jazz is popular since over 100,000 people attending Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer, and that 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-rated  radio program in Monroe, and many famous jazz musicians living there; in addition, based on a nationwide study that the typical jazz fan spends nearly $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, the arguer assumes that the new jazz club will make considerable profits. However, the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians liang in Monroe can really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe? Furthermore, the conclusion of the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan can totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable?  It is doubtful. The reasons are stated as follows.



In the first place, is the fact that many people attends the Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer can contribute to proving that jazz is popular in Monroe? It is suspicious. Since it is possible that most of these people attending the festival are tourists, and rather because of the festival itself, they came to Monroe mainly for its long history culture, comfortable weather, and so on.  Even if those people are specially for the festival, it doesn't mean that jazz is popular there, either. Because maybe it is a aberration last summer, and it is possible that the host the festival made a large appealing advertisement and gave awards for attending people.



In addition, is the evidence that 'Jazz Nightly' is the hightest-rated radio program in Monroe can support that jazz is popular? I'm afraid not so. Since it is possible that people like the host of the 'Jazz Nightly' rather than the jazz music itself. And maybe other radio program is much worse than 'Jazz Nightly', and people have to choose the least bad one.



Thirdly, that there are many famous jazz musicians living in Monroe can result in the conclusion that jazz is popular? The answer may be "no". Since it is possible that these jazz musicians living in Monroe  for its comfortable living environment rather because of any factor relating to jazz music. And neither these musicians can be sure to contribute to bringing jazz popularity in Monroe. Since it is possible that people used to like these musicians, but now they have not any interest in them. And even if people love these musicians very much, they don't necessarily come to Monroe to join a jazz club, cause they can listening to jazz through the TV, the CD, the computer...



Finally, the nationwide study that the arguer cited can really substantiate that a new jazz club is tremendously profitable? It is doubtful. Since the typical jazz fan in Monroe doesn't necessarily spend so much money on jazz entertainment, and it is possible that the jazz fans in Monroe is commonly not affluent and won't spend much even if they love jazz crazily. Meanwhile, even if the typical jazz fan in Monroe will also spend so much on jazz entertainment, it doesn't mean that other people will spend so much as the jazz fans. And if the jazz fans are a small part in Monroe, a new jazz club won't necessarily make considerable profits.



As it stands, the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians living in Monroe cannot really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe. And the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan cannot totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable,neither. Thus all these take the predication into a unconvincing one.

sillydsUID: 2985444

In this argument, the arguer predicates that a new jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable. To bolster the predication, the arguer points out that jazz is popular since over 100,000 people attending Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer, and that 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-rated  radio program in Monroe, and many famous jazz musicians living there; in addition, based on a nationwide study that the typical jazz fan spends nearly $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, the arguer assumes that the new jazz club will make considerable profits. However, the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians liang in Monroe can really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe? Furthermore, the conclusion of the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan can totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable?[can the fact that...support the assumption...?这两个疑问句语法错]  It is doubtful. The reasons are stated as follows.[开头这段很长，只是重复有什么证据，但没有说明argu里这些证据与结论之间的推理有什么错误，没有直接指出问题，有点撑字数的感觉]



In the first place, is the fact that many people attends the Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer can contribute to proving that jazz is popular in Monroe? [三段的开头疑问句均有语法错误，如第三点这句可改为the author falsely equals that the living of famous jazz musicians to the popularity of Jazz in Monroe.]  It is suspicious. Since(删除) it is possible that most of these people attending the festival are tourists,(这里不是因果关系，不需要用since) and rather because of the festival itself(Or rather than the cause of the festival itself), they(people) came to Monroe mainly for its long history culture, comfortable weather, and so on.  Even if those people are specially for(those people who particularly went for) the festival, it doesn't mean that jazz is popular there, either(删除). Because maybe it is a aberration last summer, and it is possible that the host the festival made a large appealing advertisement and gave awards for attending people.



In addition, is the evidence that 'Jazz Nightly' is the hightest-rated radio program in Monroe can support that jazz is popular? I'm afraid not so. Since it is possible that people like the host of the 'Jazz Nightly' rather than the jazz music itself. And maybe other radio program is much worse than 'Jazz Nightly', and people have to choose the least bad one.(加上一句说明这个证据与popularity of Jazz没有必然的关系，再进一步分析，列举其它可能性，这么才能把一个点说得更深入)



Thirdly, that there are many famous jazz musicians living in Monroe can result in the conclusion that jazz is popular? The answer may be "no". Since it is possible that these jazz musicians living in Monroe  for its comfortable living environment rather because of any factor relating to(related to) jazz music. And(So) neither these musicians can be sure to contribute to bringing jazz popularity in Monroe. Since it is possible that people used to like these musicians, but now they have not any interest in them. And even if people love these musicians very much, they don't necessarily come to Monroe to join a jazz club, cause they can listening to jazz through the TV, the CD, the computer...



Finally, the nationwide study that the arguer cited can really substantiate that a new jazz club is tremendously profitable? It is doubtful. Since the typical jazz fan in Monroe doesn't necessarily spend so much money on jazz entertainment, and it is possible that the jazz fans in Monroe is commonly not affluent and won't spend much even if they love jazz crazily. Meanwhile,(删除) even if the typical jazz fan in Monroe will also spend so much on jazz entertainment, it doesn't mean that other people will spend so much as the jazz fans(as the jazz fans do). And if the jazz fans are a small part in Monroe, a new jazz club won't necessarily make considerable profits.



As it stands, the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians living in Monroe cannot really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe. (没必要重复罗列所有证据) And the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan cannot totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable,neither. Thus all these take the predication into a unconvincing one.

这篇文章有些较明显的语法错，而且论证不够深入，总体上一般
纯属个人意见，有错的话请指正

ykhjyUID: 3013326

2# sillyds
THX先哈~
我写了3篇同个主题（新g argu100,25,102），主要想实践下不同instruction下同个主题的的不同。
个人觉得这篇argu的instruction重点在于通过问句的形式指出逻辑错误。
具体的，
In this argument, the arguer predicates that a new jazz club in Monroe will be tremendously profitable. To bolster the predication, the arguer points out that jazz is popular since over 100,000 people attending Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer, and that 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-rated  radio program in Monroe, and many famous jazz musicians living there; in addition, based on a nationwide study that the typical jazz fan spends nearly $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, the arguer assumes that the new jazz club will make considerable profits. It seems that the arguer assumes that these evidences can substantiate the predication.  However, can the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians liang in Monroe really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe? Furthermore, can the conclusion of the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable?[can the fact that...support the assumption...?这两个疑问句语法错]  It is doubtful. The reasons are stated as follows.[开头这段很长，只是重复有什么证据，但没有说明argu里这些证据与结论之间的推理有什么错误，没有直接指出问题，有点撑字数的感觉](正想讨论下，不阐述证据的话会不会觉得不完整，直接指出问题也可以？)



In the first place, is the fact that many people attends the Monroe's annul jazz festival last summer  contributing to proving that jazz is popular in Monroe? [三段的开头疑问句均有语法错误，如第三点这句可改为the author falsely equals that the living of famous jazz musicians to the popularity of Jazz in Monroe.]（根据instruction，我想这里需要用问句的形式出现？）  It is suspicious. Since(删除)（阐述suspicious的原因） it is possible that most of these people attending the festival are tourists,(这里不是因果关系，不需要用since) and rather because of the festival itself(Or rather than the cause of the festival itself), they(people) came to Monroe mainly for its long history culture, comfortable weather, and so on.  Even if those people are specially for(those people who particularly went for) the festival, it doesn't mean that jazz is popular there. Because maybe it is a aberration last summer, and it is possible that the host the festival made a large appealing advertisement and gave awards for attending people.



In addition, is the evidence that 'Jazz Nightly' is the hightest-rated radio program in Monroe can support that jazz is popular? I'm afraid not so. Since it is possible that people like the host of the 'Jazz Nightly' rather than the jazz music itself. And maybe other radio program is much worse than 'Jazz Nightly', and people have to choose the least bad one.(加上一句说明这个证据与popularity of Jazz没有必然的关系，再进一步分析，列举其它可能性，这么才能把一个点说得更深入)



Thirdly, that there are many famous jazz musicians living in Monroe can result in the conclusion that jazz is popular? The answer may be "no". Since it is possible that these jazz musicians living in Monroe  for its comfortable living environment rather because of any factor relating to(related to) jazz music. And(So) neither these musicians can be sure to contribute to bringing jazz popularity in Monroe. Since it is possible that people used to like these musicians, but now they have not any interest in them. And even if people love these musicians very much, they don't necessarily come to Monroe to join a jazz club, cause they can listening to jazz through the TV, the CD, the computer...



Finally, the nationwide study that the arguer cited can really substantiate that a new jazz club is tremendously profitable? It is doubtful. Since the typical jazz fan in Monroe doesn't necessarily spend so much money on jazz entertainment, and it is possible that the jazz fans in Monroe is commonly not affluent and won't spend much even if they love jazz crazily. Meanwhile,(删除) even if the typical jazz fan in Monroe will also spend so much on jazz entertainment, it doesn't mean that other people will spend so much as the jazz fans(as the jazz fans do). And if the jazz fans are a small part in Monroe, a new jazz club won't necessarily make considerable profits.



As it stands, the facts that a large number of people attending the annul jazz festival in Monroe last summer, and that the 'Jazz Nightly' is the highest-radio program there, and numerous famous jazz musicians living in Monroe cannot really support the assumption that jazz is popular in Monroe. (没必要重复罗列所有证据)（若最后直接来个结论会不会不够完整？其实这段话我本想放在上述每个攻击点后面，又觉得最后来个总结比较简洁。？） And the nationwide study relating to the expenditure of the typical jazz fan cannot totally prove that a new jazz club is profitable,neither. Thus all these take the predication into a unconvincing one.

咱再来探讨探讨？