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发表于 2012-2-4 15:57:03 |只看该作者
13# idealibt thanks~人称确实是个大问题,我会注意哒~~一起加油~
go go~

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发表于 2012-2-4 16:00:40 |只看该作者
15# lovely_hippo123 thank You~
确实么有注意过On the one hand 和 on the other hand 的用法,最后一点的论证也确实是有问题的~~我会改正滴~
go go~

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发表于 2012-2-6 16:27:05 |只看该作者
求狠批!

2月6独立写作.doc

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go go~

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发表于 2012-2-7 10:20:35 |只看该作者
towardsBT-修改by lusota.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)
快来狂拍lusota的吧~决不要客气喔~
♪ As Within, So Without ♫

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发表于 2012-2-9 13:57:17 |只看该作者
楼主写得好呢~~赞~~都木有怎么改。。

2月6独立写作by蹲着的猫.doc

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iLOVEUCLA&UCB!!!

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发表于 2012-2-10 21:57:31 |只看该作者
忙了好几天,终于恢复正常作息了~加油~

2月10独立写作.doc

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go go~

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发表于 2012-2-11 09:43:45 |只看该作者
Children may encounter numerous problems when they do their work, which leaves a choice for parents as whether to help them or not. In my opinion, the advantages of encouraging children to do their work independently overweigh those of assisting them to do it.


First of all, it is apparently more significant for children to learn how to solve a problem than to have it solved directly since they would know the way to solve a problem instead of just asking for help next time when they are faced with some difficult problem in their work (稍显繁冗). They can acquire the skill through the process of independent problem-solving, which would benefit them in their lifetime.


Secondly, encouraging children to do their work independently would contribute to the development of children’s characteristic(character). Children cannot always be accompanied by their parents, which means that they have to face their own lives one day by themselves. If parents keep helping children to do their work all the time, the children will never be able to be independent enough to make choices, to solve problems and to decide their future plans. And when they grow up and take part in a job, they may rely on others too much due to the lack of independency, which would of course lead to the failure of the children.


What’s more, children who are always encouraged to do their work independently tend to be smarter and have a brighter future than those who keep asking for help once they are in a difficult situation, according to a recent survey conducted by an authoritative information corporation.


From all the reasons listed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is better for parents to encourage children to do their work independently than to just help them when they need a hand.

楼主的文章读起来很通顺,显然英文功底很好。(按我估计,应该背诵过新概念等经典教材吧?)
词汇,语法,句子,都没有问题。
以我的经验,即便以楼主现在的水平去参加考试,写作分数肯定在28+。

楼主的进一步提升空间,我个人认为,可能是在词句的打磨上。有些句子,楼主应用从句,写得很长,显得有些啰嗦重复。建议考虑更加合理的逻辑结构,套用合适的句型。而且,另有一点,长短结合才可以达到较好的效果。我个人比较倾向于,只在有表达需要的时候使用长句子。除此以外,词语方面,还需更加生动准确。

对了,字数方面,争取上350。

一起加油吧。

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发表于 2012-2-11 10:14:58 |只看该作者
22# iBT20120304 谢谢你的修改和建议~语法上个人认为问题不大了,但是在遣词造句这一方面确实要多下工夫才行~~一起加油~
go go~

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发表于 2012-2-12 12:05:55 |只看该作者
晚交了。。

2月11独立写作.doc

28 KB, 下载次数: 6

go go~

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发表于 2012-2-12 12:07:27 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 towardsBT 于 2012-2-12 12:47 编辑

综合~~

TPO3综合写作.doc

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go go~

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发表于 2012-2-12 14:04:07 |只看该作者
The passage presents three problems with the painting that suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt, while the listening part tells us that this portrait is in fact the work by him.

First of all, the passage argues that inconsistency of the way the woman in the portrait is dressed could not be the guilt of Rembrandt. While the listening shows us that the after the
fur collar of the portrait, which was added to it a hundred years after the painting was made, was removed, the woman in the portrait is dressed consistently.

Secondly, what the passage holds is that Rembrandt is a master of painting light and shadow and he would never make the error of misuse the light and shadow which appears in the portrait. The professor says that after the remove of the
fore color, below the face is simple collar with light colors, just the way people have expected, which makes the original one realistic.

Lastly, the panel made of several pieces of wood glued together, mentioned in the passage, was also added after many years. The original panel is a single piece of wood, which is the same with Rembrandt’s already known self-portrait, according to the professor.


From all the reasons listed above, the professor makes the idea clarified to all the students that the portrait is the work of Rembrandt, even though once doubted by people.


总体不错,一些细节需要注意下~

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发表于 2012-2-12 14:22:20 |只看该作者
楼主~你的文我看了,写得很好~~思路很论证都不错~~
能回改一下我昨天的作文吗?https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1332586-1-1.html
谢谢啦~~~

towardsBT.doc

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发表于 2012-2-12 20:34:38 |只看该作者
改好了

2月11独立写作 bt.doc

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发表于 2012-2-13 02:44:04 |只看该作者
改好~~~~

2月11独立写作by nikiniki333.doc

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no pain, no gain.

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发表于 2012-2-13 11:26:50 |只看该作者
谢谢啦~~
我觉得这一次的作文实在是两方面都很重要所以就两个都支持了。。。
以后在这方面会注意的~~

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