Daily Writting by shibin11

shibin11UID: 3228029

LZ素夜猫子一枚
第一天的作业 会在第二天的凌晨写好- -。
然后第二天中午睡醒改同组的作业。

求各种狠批谢谢 - -！

shibin11UID: 3228029

2.6

101009NA
People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Time：初稿23分钟+修改半个多小时
字数：450

Rural area attracts people those years because of its fresh air or peaceful life style. But is it really the case? Has anyone ever thought of the much more benefits bringing by urban area? Such as equipped medical facilities, job prospects, and education environment.   I, therefore, strongly suggest that people tend to take care of their family members better when they liven in big cities than in the countryside.

For young members, big cities offer them a better education. In this case, they have the latest recourses, good teachers, and peer pressure which will probably get them more involved in studying. For instance, I used to live in the countryside. It was very hard for me to find a book I want to read. And when I was in need of necessary textbooks, they were out of reach for me. The most importantly, teachers could not answer the question I asked. They were only familiar with the knowledge which mentioned in the textbook. What is more, lacking of peer pressure, nothing urged me to study hard. In the circumstance, I soon lost the passion to learn new things. Therefore, big cities provide young members what not given in the countryside.

For members who are working, big cities are filled will opportunities, such as international companies. Once they have a good performance, their companies are willing to support them for overseas training. Then they can improve themselves. Besides, the rural areas’ traffic inconvenience requires people get up early in the morning which means little sleep available for them. That will affect their work performance.

For elder, urban area is of course the choice for them too due to advanced medical equipment. It would be awkward if the elderly family members have a heart attack while there is no decent hospital nearby. In the rural area, there are lots of irregular clinics which even do not provide a simple operation, such as removing a benign tumor. Then, those benign tumors becomes to malignant tumor. On the other hand, some diseases are not easy to detect. At the age of older, they need to be cared carefully. Any small sign could be a potential disease. Then the advanced medical technology of course will take an important role since they can treat it as soon as they can and prevent it from getting worse.

In a nutshell, I still insist to my point that people can take good care of their family members if they live in big cities in virtue of the 3 reasons I mentioned above.

shibin11UID: 3228029

综合 TPO20

In the reading material, there is a topic about 3 kinds of damage about forest fires in Yellowstone which produced by a "let it burn" policy. However, in the conversation, the woman said, the fire actually makes the park become more creative.

First, the professor states that even though some vegetation indeed ruined, some new plants that originally can not grow starts to grow now leading to diversification of plants. However, the reading passage claims that lots of land had been scorched and vegetation starts to die out.

Second, the reading passage contends that animal food chains were influenced. But in the listening material, the women said that the place became an ideal habitat for small animals like rabbits. Certain species depend on rabbits. Hence, the food chain is actually stronger.

At last, 听了几遍都没听懂。。。

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

综合的修改
棕色  涉及语法的修改或困惑   紫色 赞    蓝色 不涉及语法的词语修改  灰色删除  红色插入 添加
In the reading material, there is 这样的搭配似乎有些奇怪 a topic about 3 kinds of damage about forest fires in Yellowstone which produced by a "let it burn" policy. 其实应该说 认为应该废除更准确 However, in the conversation, the woman said, the fire actually makes the park become more creative. 这个概括好~

First, the professor states that even though some vegetation indeed ruined, some new plants that originally can not grow starts to grow now leading to diversification of plants. However, the reading passage claims that lots of land had been scorched and vegetation starts to die out.不是灭绝呀 木有说这个意思吧。。。我赶脚就是说从这个地区消失 , V3 r" [* J( Y6 T+ g7 \( b
( I4 n$ h8 D7 @3 }: n0 `3 g+ X" ^
Second, the reading passage contends that animal food chains were influenced. But in the listening material, the women said that the place became an ideal habitat for small animals like rabbits. Certain species depend on rabbits. Hence, the food chain is actually stronger. 第二点概括得好赞

At last, 听了几遍都没听懂
最后一点就是说黄石大火只是偶然事件 不会每年发生  那么这个政策就还是适用的   反对阅读里面提出的破坏旅游资源这一点

提个建议：楼主的字数有些少了= = 但我估计写完第三点和结尾应该也差不多  嘿嘿 加油  ——坏绿
P个S：我独立也和你一组的，但是今天有点事，估计晚上才能写出来= =麻烦童鞋到时候给看一下

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

棕色  涉及语法的修改或困惑   紫色 赞    蓝色 不涉及语法的词语修改  灰色删除  红色插入 添加

01009NA
hPeople can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Rural area attracts people those years 时间插入在这里感觉不太对哇 because of its fresh air or peaceful life style. But is it really the case? the case 接在后面不就是多出来的成分了吗？ Has anyone ever thought of the much more benefits bringing by urban area? Such as equipped medical facilities, job prospects, and education environment.   I, therefore, strongly 弱弱地问。可以这样用吗 楼主表打我 我语法不太好 真的不知道 suggest that people tend to 建议人们去趋向于某个做法不搭配吧 就直接agree with the statement that peeple 就可以呀 take care of their family members better when they liven in big cities than in the countryside. 1 I  A5 d$ I; C! R0 p/ E

. f6 G- F0 E' w8 o* W# t
For young members, big cities offer them a better education. In this case 在这里用一句 既然这样？, they have the latest recourses, good teachers, and peer pressure which will probably get ---make them more involved in studying. For instance, I used to live in the countryside. It was very hard for me to find a book which is I want to read. And when I was in need of necessary textbooks, they were out of reach for me. The most importantly, teachers could not answer the question I asked---came up with. They were only familiar with the knowledge which mentioned in the textbook. What is more, lacking of peer pressure, nothing urged me to study hard. In the circumstance, I soon这似乎应该加在句尾 lost the passion to learn new things. Therefore, big cities provide young members what not given in the countryside. ( b- j5 g) f$ `/ E" V2 L+ @zhg zhg

For members who are working, big cities are filled will ---with opportunities, such as entering international companies. Once they have a good performance, their companies are willing to support them for overseas training. Then they can improve themselves. Besides, the rural areas’ traffic inconvenience requires people get up early in the morning which means little sleep available for them. That will affect their work performance.

y0 Z# w
For elder, urban area is of course --certain the better choice for them too,断句一下比较好吧？ due to advanced medical equipment. It would be awkward这里这个词太轻了吧  是否直接用dangerous 比较好 if the elderly family members have a heart attack while there is no decent hospital nearby. In the rural area, there are lots of irregular clinics which even do not provide a simple operation, such as removing a benign tumor. Then, those benign tumors becomes to malignant tumor. On the other hand, some diseases are not easy to detect. At the age of older, they need to be cared carefully. Any small sign could be a potential disease. Then the advanced medical technology of course will take an important role since they can treat it as soon as they can and prevent it from getting worse.

In a nutshell, I still insist to my point that people can take good care of their family members if they live in big cities in virtue of the 3 reasons I mentioned above.结尾好，这个句式还没看人用过呢 学习~！


楼主的结构挺好的，建议每段加一个连接词 把层次感提上去，文章中的举例不错，也了我启发，加油哦

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

原本打算细细修改一番，但是楼主的作文功夫已经非常不错，语法几乎没有错误，论证也很给力，词汇也丰富。属上乘之作，稍加努力，应该可以拿到满分。

shibin11UID: 3228029

6# iBT20120304

。。。事实上我的语法论证词汇是有目共睹的差啊。。。。
那篇能算个中乘就谢谢自己了。。。

iBT20120304UID: 3228839

楼主不必谦虚

shibin11UID: 3228029

2.7

100828NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather thansocial status.

TIME：30分钟+修改1小时
字数：421

Some people want to be a singer or actor because they want to have a social status. It is certainly a good thing to get respect form others, and be known by lots of people. But there is a flip side- people’s life is not going to be peaceful after becoming well-known. Therefore, I believe that most people are actually working for money rather than social status.

Social status make people's life complex. I do not say it for no reason. Once one becomes a public figure, he or she has no privacy any more. Media can not wait to dig out everything one has ever done, and expose the most controversial one to the public. It can be a bad smile picture, a person you don’t want to remember, or one stupid thing. To make things worse, they often distort the truth catering to people’s love of scandal. They care what public want rather than what the famous one will suffer. It is not rare to see noted people's suicide due to the pressure of public opinion. I, therefore, can not even figure out one reason why people would make money for social status since it would make troubles for them and disturb their life.

However, money does not lead to unhappiness like social stats does. We need money for surviving. We can not see the favorite soap opera we have been waiting for a week since we can not afford an electric charge. We can do nothing about our starvation which will finally result in death. Or we can not reach our lover because of a strong opposition from their family since we are poor. The best way of solving it, at least for me, is to work. Money more or less guarantees our life and avoids ourselves from unnecessary troubles.

On the other hand, money offers us an opportunity to do what we want, such as a trip. For coming it true one day, money is responsible. One of my friends, Stacy, was always looking for a trip to Tokyo, the capital of Japan, since she was fascinated with Japanese culture. She even dropped out of our university for earning enough money. And now, she saved enough money, and has given informed from the University of Tokyo. She finally made it through working.

At last, I still insist to my point that money is the main reason why people work. And if we have money, we can do charitable things which are possibly promising us a social status.

shibin11UID: 3228029

综合TPO21

The lecturer states that, although the three benefits of genetic modification sounds appealing, it suffers from several flaws, as it presented below.

The first definite in the text is that the hardier the tree is, the more possibility for tree to survive. As is stated in the lecture, it do not ensure its' survival. If it remains to same specie, they all die when unsuitable condition comes to the specie. Yet in the same case, if planting different trees, even some die, others will continue to grow. （一遍听到）

（听了两遍）The second flaw concerns about the economic benefits. There are some hidden costs of planting trees. It actually cost more than it sees.  You are supposed to pay every time you plant but not just collect the seeds that simple.

（听了三遍，具体是哪些recourses又多听了两遍）Furthermore, although the reading passage states that the use of genetically modified trees have less damage, the truth is actually opposite. Genetically modified trees are planting among native trees. Then, they start to compete recourses with each other, such as sunlight, soil nutrients, and water. Therefore, this one could not be a benefit either.

sodapengUID: 3242849

楼主写的不是一个题额 = =

shibin11UID: 3228029

13# sodapeng
7号的题已经考过了。

shibin11UID: 3228029

2.8

101031NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends.

Time：30分钟+30分钟
字数：387

Most people do not like moving to a new place since they are afraid of leaving their comfort zone included familiar friends. That is to say, they are unable to complain with their friends when trouble comes to them. Or, they can not share fresh news with friends in time. The truth is, however, leaving to a new place does not equal to the loss of friends.

Moving to a new city by no means hinders our friendship. By contrast, by virtue of different cities we lived, we have more topics to talk about which will probably improve our
friendship. Like last month, I met my high-school classmate, Stacy. She now studied in a nearby city. We were so excited about the meet and asked each other's life. We have a lot to say and she told me lots of interesting things around her, and invited me to play.

Technology offers us the opportunity to have a contact of friends no matter where we are. First, if we want to share something happened around us, we can call our friends immediately or have a video conversation on computer to keep in touch. Then we can still see and talk to each other just like what we used to do. Second, the transportation now is very convenient. If we miss our friends, we can come to see them by train or air just in a couple of hours.

Moving to a new city will also benefit our personal development. Potential are supposed to be developed in an unfamiliar environment since we depend on our familiar friends while troubles come. However, we can not get offers from old friends when we move to a new city. We have to be independent. In this case, people start to do things which are originally hard for them. They soon realize that is not that hard, and this lifts their capacity and confidence.

At last, I still insist to my point that it is good for people to move to a new city since it not only promote friendship, but also are beneficial for people's personal development.