第一次写大作文 求拍砖

sophie2623UID: 3117049

题目：some people think high-school graduates should travel or work for a period of time before they go to university. To what extent do you agree

As we all know, most students will be enrolled in the universities as soon as they graduate from high schools.Actually,it was quite common for them to pursue undergraduate degree in the past decades.While,nowadays,some people contend that it is better for students to travel around the world or work for some time in advance rather than begin their university life immediately.

This argument may be true.Initially, tourism, an excellent way to enjoy the nature, gives high-school graduates a great opportunity to appreciate the beautiful scenery as well as different kinds of cultures, which can reinforce knowledge that they learn from books. For instance, in history class, students can only imagine other countries ‘traditions or customs showed by books. Via tourism, however, they can experience the culture in reality, thereby knowing the world better. What’s more, referring to the job, there is no doubt that it is beneficial for students to gain social experience. It is evident that high-school graduates would confront with distinct situations though the work, which requires them the ability to communicate with different people in different ways. But all of these can assist them to grow up quickly. What is worth mentioning is that both travel and work can establish the foundation in terms of the latter study.

On the other hand, there are other aspects against these arguments. To start with, the first point is that sometimes students may suffer danger if they don’t have enough safety preparation, such as climbing the mountain without safety belt. The second factor is in relation with the success in the job. Some individuals may give up their studies due to the temporary success. I do not deny the fact that this kind of success but it is always better to get a undergraduate degree since no one know what would happen in the future.

To sum up, we can see that it is quite well to travel or work before entering the university, but more importantly, we should balance the relaxation and study appropriately.Only in this way can we have a bright tomorrow.


这个还是初稿 因为全天满课还没来得及改 想先看下这样大概是几分水平

wrathUID: 2704440

说下个人意见 仅供参考 评分您找帮主去吧。。。

审题 some people think high-school graduates should travel or work for a period of time before they go to university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

一个东西 大学 university 两种方法          1.直接念          2.工作/旅行之后再去念

就是讨论 毕业后旅行/工作 或 直接念大学  给学生未来大学生活带来的利弊  然后自己表示自己对这个 opinion 的看法

你第二段说了一堆 文化 传统 知识 经历 什么的。。。 虽然 不是跑题 但是和大学也不是很紧密

建议围绕大学生活学习讨论 其次是对学生个人  带来什么样的影响 利弊

建议正反两观点 要平衡  注意段落之间的衔接   结尾 结合前两个观点 综合下结论

sophie2623UID: 3117049

恩恩 谢谢谢谢
弱弱问句 现在写作文最大问题就是想不到点子啊！！郁闷

wrathUID: 2704440

恩恩 谢谢谢谢
弱弱问句 现在写作文最大问题就是想不到点子啊！！郁闷
sophie2623 发表于 2012-3-14 22:49

思路的话 推荐看看十天上的 思路形成部分吧

还可以  应急够用了 按那个套路组织思路的话6~6.5 还比较简单

但是 行文千万别用模板 看出来了 就是5分

要是想答高分 还得自己慢慢积累