6.17的童鞋，Independent Writing 求好心人狂批！

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我4.22作文22分，6.17考二战，希望有好心人能帮我改下作文，万分感激。有改必回，也希望能对你的修改提出一点有用见解以助相互提高。

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Topic: In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

In modern ages, there are a lot of books talking about the key to success. Some people always cast doubt on the effect of these publications, because they hold the idea that novelty is the only way to be successful. In fact, imitation of others and learning from others are more important than just depending on us in the way to success.

First, the experiences of the success would inform us of a different aspect to observing life and everything around us. By intentional observation, we will find something useful, something important. For example, knowledge is a special type of successful experience. After acquiring some specific knowledge, like the Demand Law, we will consciously notice if the demands of our commodities are increasing. Then, if not, some measurements will be figured out and in most situations, these actions will have effect on our goals. Therefore, we could learn experience by being more like others.  

Also, someone who is different from others succeeds by his talent. But not everyone has original thoughts, in fact; only small part of people possesses novel and creative ability. So, learning and imitating someone is a more practical way for most of people to be accomplished and wealthy. Everyone can own a business by learning how to efficiently manage a company. And everyone can make a lot of money by asking someone their life of creating fortune. That is why I would like to support the idea that it is more vital to take action based on others shoulders.

In conclusion, although we are who we are, there is always necessity to be like someone great and someone important. Because everything is so well developed and it is hard for us to be someone totally different from others. One thing we ought to do is to stay foolish and to stay hungry.

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Topic: All teachers should take courses every five years to update their knowledge.

Taking Courses are unequivocally positive for everyone in the world. Thus some people points out that the teachers should take some extra lessons to improve their abilities. In my point of view self-learning is, in fact, a more desirable and significant technique to enhance the qualification of a good teacher.

First of all, some problems cannot be solved by just learning courses, because the lecturer cannot fully understand teachers' needs and puzzles. Teachers always are confused about some specify topics not the whole subject, so self-study will be more quickly and efficient to achieve their goals. For example, College lecturers might sometimes get stuck in some questions come up by their students, and they will search literatures on familiar topic for the answer instead of being answered by courses. So, teachers just need a certain kind of knowledge instead of the whole picture acquired by the courses.

In addition, by doing so, teacher would gain the ability of learning by oneself. Then, they can teach their students. This ability is a vital skill for the school life, even for the whole life. In prestigious universities, critical thinking, one of the self-learning techniques, is the focus of many courses taught by professors. Professors are aware of the importance of being curious and self-fulfilling our needs. Therefore, the transform of ability in learning from teachers to students will improve the whole teaching quality of a school.

In conclusion, all teachers need to learn how to acquire knowledge by self rather than by being taught. This is the only way to make things perfect. And no one can teacher you everything, courses can just lead you to the gate, but if you want to step in, it is all about yourself.

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Topic: In order to solve problem in the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.

The financial storm in 2008 is so strong and does great harm to the world's economy. There are always some people talk that it is inevitable since the innovation of financial instruments is so fast. But in my opinion, the past, in fact, offers valuable lessons for us to tackle tough situations.

First of all, we can make some conclusion about the past, and then if some familiar prerequisites happen again, we could take action more quickly and prevent the deepening of the severe situation. For example, we know that German once experienced hyperinflation, and they lived through the horrible outcome of this phenomenon. Now, the high potential inflation, though slight, are not allowed in Germany. And the Government is cautious about monetary policy. Therefore, the price index in Germany is so steady since then. Thus It is quite important for one to learn from its past.

Compared to learning from others, learning from our past is more efficient and effective in solving problems. Although there are common features, the individual-specific characteristics are dominant. When I prepared TOFEL examination, everyone around me told that reading section is so easy and you should focus more on the other three sections. But actually, according to my past English examination results, listening part was always outperformed, and I found that listening was the easiest part during my preparation. So fully understanding our past is better than just asking for help, because we can focus on the most vital problem.

In a word, the past is definitely likely to be repeated, although in different forms, but the nature of history would keep unchanged. Thus all of us should summaries our past experience, and try to understand ourselves more deeply, which are more significant for us to solve problems.

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The best way for parents to make the children learn about responsibility is to have children care for an animal

In human society, it seems that once a woman gives birth to a child, she will be more considerate and careful. And everyone thinks that responsibility is the main cause of these maternal behaviors. But as for children, I think, it is not so simple to enhance children's responsibility by just an animal. There are some limitations underlying the effectiveness.

First, as we can see, the source of responsibility is love and kindness. If children do not possess love on certain animals, there is no way for them to express their attentions and concerns on them after curiosity expired. Take my sister for example. She got a little cat at her six. At first, she was very interested in this little cat, and always fed it on time. But after a week later, this feeding job was totally taken over by my mom. So, many actions of caring may just come from curiosity instead of responsibility.  

In addition, even though children realize that there are duties for them to look after their animals; they do not know how to correctly express. Sometimes their kind actions would be fatal to animals. When there are no parents around children and children consider that animals is hungry. Then they might think that they should share some snakes with their pets. For example, to rabbits, maybe something unsuitable for their diets would kill them. And it was the case for me when I was 10. Therefore, although it could dose some help to develop the responsibility of children, but the cost would be the life of animals.

In a word, for the concern that children are driven by curiosity and there is the risk of killing some animals, I insist that cultivating people's responsibility by caring for animals is not the best. Maybe we can organize some teamwork for them; it is a better way to enhance responsibility besides cooperation.

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People should take a secure job immediately when they find one instead of waiting for the job that they find more satisfying.

In this age, unemployment rate keeps in high level, about 30% higher than that in normal economic condition. Thus people, especially who are hunting for a job, consider that they would like to accept any kind of job, although undesirable. But I insist that it is worth waiting for something better and more satisfying, because these positions would be likely to promise a bright future for us.

First, a satisfying job can provide the essential experience we need for our future careers. Otherwise, it would take more efforts to achieve our aims. For example the sales position will never offer the skills needed to become a CFO. What's more, A CFO of a small company that I have ever met said that the job would cultivate our habits and give us the knowlegde of being professional in the industry that the job belongs to. Thus, the more satisfying a work is, the more probably we can succeed,

On the other hand, the work, that we are not interested in, would make us confusing and stressed since we are psychologically and subconsciously resistant to this kind of work. It has little positive effect on our lives. The accounting industry cites many appealing examples to demonstrate this point. Someone might think they suffer from the work requiring OT all the time and they are tired out physically and mentally. But for someone else, they finds that there are a lot of fun underlying this job, for the reason that they are really into this work. Therefore, a satisfying work ensures the quality of life, and we are likely to strike the balance between life and work.

In a word, although the salaries of jobs have no differences, when taking invisible and potential payments into consideration, it would make a big difference. Who wants the achievements and the quality of life should choose a job satisfying. All of us should find our interest and make a plan for our future; this is the right thing for us.

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Topic: Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players do not deserve high salaries that they are paid.

In this age, well-known athletes, especially those participating in popular sports, earn much more than an average CEO. Thus, people propose that it is so unfair. People with abundant knowledge should deserve more. However, in my opinion, exactly these high payments make matches more thrilling and entertaining, which reflects the demand of most people.

First, it is very competitive among athletes, only the best-performance will get the best-payment. Thus, this high or low game incents athletes to train intensively and frequently. Eventually, some breath-taking skills will be put into practice to gain attentions and applauds. Like Michael Jordon, his attractive performance and surprising skills prove that he is the one deserving the best. So, it is their skills come from harsh training that provide them with a millions of dollars.

In addition, compared to average payment, those who get better are talent in born. It is the minority in all athletes. The novelty created and inimitable skills make audiences excited and screaming. In china, Yao Ming is the tallest athletes. People are into his matches because they do not possess this height and they want to witness the matches with this height. Therefore, Scarcity is another reason that makes some athletes better paid than others.

In a word, when envying the high paid level of match players, we just forget that there are many low paid athletes we hardly know. So, they achieve their goals by talent and endeavor, it is quite fair if people want to make sacrifices.

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7# 258439050

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Topic: Movies and TV programs made in your own country are more interesting comparing to movies and programs made in other countries.

In the movie theater, most of films are native productions. Thus people speculate that citizens are fonder of films and TV programs produced in our nation than those made by other nations. In fact, I argue that the foreign programs and movies are more attractive to us for technical sakes and learning demand.

First, what makes a film a good film is plotting and techniques. It is the fact that foreign countries, especially the United States, always create breath-taking thrilling plots with some surprising high-quality technologies. Take some movies for example. 'Inception' and '2012' are very popular around the world in recent years. And in my country, the sales volume of each one is far higher than any of our nation at that time. What's more, people in the forums heated discuss what it the most amazing part in these movies and express their love for the logic and hi-tech usage. So, it is the methods of making films that determine popularity.

In addition, movies and programs produced in foreign country have large market potential because people want to practice their listening and be familiar with exotic culture. Many experienced people suggest students to watch TV programs with only foreign lines, such as 'friends'. Only by this way can we get access to the actual and real English world, when we are still in homeland. And it is the reason that makes me fond of ‘desperate housewives'. Therefore, interest not only has psychological meaning, but also practical meaning

In a word, foreign movies and TV programs are more interesting. And native mass media producers should be aware of their weakness in order to compete with the high quality movies in the world.

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邀请你加入写作小组，https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1382505-1-1.html

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8# 秋雨荆州


终于等到一个好心人啦。谢谢你的回复。我好像还不能发附件，可以时我就把我反馈发回给你。感激不尽啊！

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

打打酱油啦，等写作小组弄起来的话组员之间就能互相改作文彼此学习咯！ 11# 258439050

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12# 秋雨荆州


终于可以传附件啦。

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Topic: The effective leader tries to make others feel they have been part of a decision.

In our country, it seems that leader is someone making decision that others should definitely follow and conduct. However, I argue that an excellent boss should make employees feel their suggestions have been considered. It is good to the overall performance of a firm.

First, employees whose ideas have been put into practice would be enthusiastic about their work, thus encouraging sound outcome of a team. I can attest that. I was a member of a department in my university when I was 20. There was a weekly meeting discussing about ideas about the next activity. I surprisingly found that every member including me dived into this. And many interesting and fascinating ideas were put forward then put into practice. It was so amazing. Therefore, I believe that the strategy of making others get involved in decision making is wise.

On top of that, although the same performances are achieved by different groups, the atmosphere created by effective leaders, who make others feel they have been part of a decision, are the most hospitable. For example, students are fonder of participating in seminar than taking a traditional course. Because in the seminar, discussions and comments make them feel that they are teachers too, teaching others and themselves. And they can get different opinions about a certain topic by peaceful talks. Thus, the environment of seminar is more active and fantastic. That is why I hold the idea that the atmosphere is an invisible benefit of an effective leading.

In conclusion, the decision process involving everybody in the team would make things more productive and effective. Not only does the firm benefit from it, but also their employees. It is a win-win situation, so I suggest that managers should conduct this strategy as many as possible.

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Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

In this modern society, which is full of opportunities, people being successful and outstanding seem more possible than those in the old ages. Thus, many people are concentrated on their careers, like operating business, working hard and late etc. But, in my opinion, being happy and optimistic is more vital for a high quality life than being successful, because failures are also common even though the chances are plentiful.

First, someone who is positive would suffer less stress. They do not be worried about failure because they concern about what lessons they have got from this experience. Thus they can maintain good health by avoiding unnecessary disturbance. A lot of cases in fighting with cancer can prove this point. People knowing that they have cancer would have two reactions. Feeling upset about their illness or continuing their life as usual. Someone with positive attitude can live longer than those with negative attitude, even in some situation, optimism cures the cancer. Therefore, happiness all the time encourages a healthy life.

On the top of that, there is a feedback effect that affecting our life quality. Compared to someone urging to succeed, someone optimistic has a good effect on people around them, and then they achieve a hospitable repercussion. For example, if our companied bankruptcy and we also feel down at home, we would most likely to argue with our family member. Thus, the relationship among members will get worse and worse and it will finally become another burden for us. So, being optimistic in failure is the way to releasing life stress.

In conclusion, failure is not so horrible. The most terrible thing we face is that we cannot keep a happy and positive attitude. All of us can be friendly to others and be treated nicely, if we adjust our attitude toward life and fail.