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[作文] 【大神们,帮忙评价一下作文!看看哪里有需要改进的地方 跪谢Again aNd agAin!】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-5-30 15:13:44 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 LiuLiangXuan1 于 2012-5-30 15:14 编辑


这是一篇IELTS的预测作文:


In many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society Give reasons and make some suggestions.
正文:

Suffering from unemployment, it is more difficult for somebody to find a job after graduation than before in contemporary society. In this essay, I intend to explore the causes of this phenomenon and put forward some feasible recommendations. The reasons will be shown as follows.

First of all, as an university student, on condition that they do not put effort in their study or learning, they will not probably land on an ideal position, under the fierce competition. Because they couldn't use their knowledge efficiently and properly in some professional fields they have learned.

Secondly, maybe the university graduates have high expectations for salary. So the consequence might be that corporations cannot hire one or more graduated students with high salary expectations over the expected range of companies in a short period.

As we have known, unemployment is more than an economic problem. If it is not handled properly, it would result in serious social problems. Effective measures must be taken to combat the situation.

Let me give some suggestions that try to solve this social issue. I hold a view that the following measures can be worked out. The first step would be to maintain a high economic growth. Economic growth produces new jobs and work opportunities. It will bring numerous chances for those people who are wondering for jobs. Furthermore, paying employees for training cannot be neglected, since training can make their skills updated. As I demonstrated above, I believe that by these ways, with the efforts of the public, the unemployment problem can be solved.


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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主

发表于 2012-5-30 20:26:47 |显示全部楼层
4-4.5
Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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发表于 2012-5-31 09:14:42 |显示全部楼层
2# bqiana


问题出在了哪里?
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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主

发表于 2012-5-31 23:21:38 |显示全部楼层
请研究下剑桥7的test3范文就知道了
Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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发表于 2012-6-1 15:37:52 |显示全部楼层
4# bqiana

Ok,那您有没有什么personal ideas about this issue
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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主

发表于 2012-6-1 18:22:11 |显示全部楼层
你的文体太美式了
Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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发表于 2012-6-1 22:49:27 |显示全部楼层
6# bqiana


关键啥叫美式呢,  您能描述一下否?
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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主

发表于 2012-6-2 07:20:52 |显示全部楼层
呵呵你以前跟谁学的作文,那就是美式的文体了
Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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发表于 2012-7-3 18:18:16 |显示全部楼层
LS讲话让人摸不到头脑,要讲不讲,为什么不用大家看得懂的、有建设性的话帮帮别人呢

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发表于 2012-7-21 09:02:02 |显示全部楼层
candiiice 发表于 2012-7-3 18:18
LS讲话让人摸不到头脑,要讲不讲,为什么不用大家看得懂的、有建设性的话帮帮别人呢

virtual life……

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RE: 【大神们,帮忙评价一下作文!看看哪里有需要改进的地方 跪谢Again aNd agAin!】 [修改]

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