第一次写ISSUE，请猛烈拍，指导

maymightUID: 3255397

题目 To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities

maymightUID: 3255397

I believe that cultural heritage is the most important aspects of a society. Traditional values have been passed on from generation to generation. It is cultural heritage that makes us unique, separates us from others, without it we are no different from foreigners.

While it may be that in some country you can learn about cultural heritage by studying major cities, this is not the case in every country. Specifically, it is not the case in China.

The emphasis on family is a part of Chinese cultural heritage. Chinese value the concept “Unity” over others, meaning that family should always be put in priority. Chinese civilization has been built peculiarly on the basis of family. The reason is that Chinese people have a unique family value system that would put family above individual and personal needs. The value is implicitly shown in the Chinese word for family which is a pictorial representation of several people under a roof. According to the Chinese proverbs, “if there are no families, there will be no country” it seems that Chinese emphasize family more than other cultures.

If you study major cities in China you cannot learn about the tradition family system. Due to industrialization and modernization, traditional family structure is gradually perished and replaced. Most families living in major cities are nuclear family which only contains three members a mother, father and a child. Those families are often child-centered, while tradition families in small towns and rural areas are elder-centered.  An old proverb goes “There are three types of ungratefulness to ones parents, of which the worst is to have no descendants”. Life in big cities can sometimes be hectic and tiresome, leaving only little spare time, so some young couples might chose not to have children. Therefore DINK families are formed. DINK meaning double income and no children, became much more common in major cities than ten year ago.


However, if you study rural towns and villages you can learn a great deal about cultural heritage. Since rural towns and villages haven’t been influenced by foreign culture, traditional family values are well preserved. When compare families in rural places to that of major cities, indeed the two have a lot of differences, mostly in structure, attitude, rituals and naming system. Most of the families in rural town and villages are huge, containing at least three generations and a dozen of people. Relatives live rather close to other in the same village, so most village were named after their common last name, for example, the village of Chen, the village of Li. Family values are also much more traditional then those of the major cities. The interest of family outweighs the interest an individual, and decisions are made by how they impact the group. Families were built on a hierarchy system, the oldest male in the family have the highest power and authority, obedience is consider a virtue for younger generations. In a nutshell, “unity” is always the top priority in traditional families.
       
I do not deny that one can learn about lesser important characteristic such as politics, economy and art in major cities. But in my opinion, the most important characteristic of a society is its culture heritage. It is culture heritage that make us unique and differs us of outsiders. In China’s case, cultural heritage equals traditional family value which represents the core and essence of Chinese philosophy. In conclusion, by studying rural town and villages it is enough to fully grasp the most important characteristic of China.

maymightUID: 3255397

为什么没有人提提意见~ 版主呢~

princess谜UID: 3241866

只是个人小小意见哦。whole picture 是不是可以换成panorama 。我觉得你更应该强调出来什么是THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTIC，而不是单纯的举了一个CHINA的例子来说中国仿佛特征很多很DIVERSE。其实美国人眼里中国最重要的特征是UNITY。你可以看一些关于美国人研究中国崛起等等的视频，里面都觉得中国人讲究大家风范，讲究和谐统一。这些究竟是怎样在北上广这样的城市体现出来的等等。你要写MAJOR CITIES 和IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTIC的关系，而非中国怎么样怎么样吧。

maymightUID: 3255397

princess谜 发表于 2012-6-19 09:05
只是个人小小意见哦。whole picture 是不是可以换成panorama 。我觉得你更应该强调出来什么是THE MOST IMPO ...

其实我也觉得偏题啦，只是想举个中国的例子，这个国家人口分布而言乡村人口众多不可忽视

alteraUID: 2724954

princess谜 发表于 2012-6-19 09:05
只是个人小小意见哦。whole picture 是不是可以换成panorama 。我觉得你更应该强调出来什么是THE MOST IMPO ...

头像很像我今天看到华政的一个小姑娘.....

morriscaiUID: 3331615

哎，随便骚一样就看出了，专有名词大写么，别china,china的，瓷器呢

狐狸大叔UID: 2342950

扯远了
按照你的逻辑，应该又study major cities又study other parts of the society
后面扯的东西大多数和主题无关

maymightUID: 3255397

我重新写了一遍
我也发现了逻辑错误，命题是MUST 而不是ONLY ，所以只能写一个方面
而且我没有定义什么是the most important characteristic
目前我认为的most important characteristic is cultural heritage

逻辑很重要啊 有木有~
再请各位大侠小侠帮忙看一下下


题目 To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities


提纲 ：
1. what is the most important characteristic of society？ cultural heritage and WHY
2. 不是所有国家都是必须看大城市的，在中国没必要看major cities
3. 大城市找不到most important characteristic，WHY
4. 小地方能发现most important characteristic ，WHY
5. 不否认在大城市能发现一些 less important characteristic，但是要看most important 还是必须看乡村小地方


I believe that cultural heritage is the most important aspects of a society. Traditional values have been passed on from generation to generation. It is cultural heritage that makes us unique, separates us from others, without it we are no different from foreigners.

While it may be that in some country you can learn about cultural heritage by studying major cities, this is not the case in every country. Specifically, it is not the case in China.

The emphasis on family is a part of Chinese cultural heritage. Chinese value the concept “Unity” over others, meaning that family should always be put in priority. Chinese civilization has been built peculiarly on the basis of family. The reason is that Chinese people have a unique family value system that would put family above individual and personal needs. The value is implicitly shown in the Chinese word for family which is a pictorial representation of several people under a roof. According to the Chinese proverbs, “if there are no families, there will be no country” it seems that Chinese emphasize family more than other cultures.

If you study major cities in China you cannot learn about the tradition family system. Due to industrialization and modernization, traditional family structure is gradually perished and replaced. Most families living in major cities are nuclear family which only contains three members a mother, father and a child. Those families are often child-centered, while tradition families in small towns and rural areas are elder-centered.  An old proverb goes “There are three types of ungratefulness to ones parents, of which the worst is to have no descendants”. Life in big cities can sometimes be hectic and tiresome, leaving only little spare time, so some young couples might chose not to have children. Therefore DINK families are formed. DINK meaning double income and no children, became much more common in major cities than ten year ago.


However, if you study rural towns and villages you can learn a great deal about cultural heritage. Since rural towns and villages haven’t been influenced by foreign culture, traditional family values are well preserved. When compare families in rural places to that of major cities, indeed the two have a lot of differences, mostly in structure, attitude, rituals and naming system. Most of the families in rural town and villages are huge, containing at least three generations and a dozen of people. Relatives live rather close to other in the same village, so most village were named after their common last name, for example, the village of Chen, the village of Li. Family values are also much more traditional then those of the major cities. The interest of family outweighs the interest an individual, and decisions are made by how they impact the group. Families were built on a hierarchy system, the oldest male in the family have the highest power and authority, obedience is consider a virtue for younger generations. In a nutshell, “unity” is always the top priority in traditional families.
       
I do not deny that one can learn about lesser important characteristic such as politics, economy and art in major cities. But in my opinion, the most important characteristic of a society is its culture heritage. It is culture heritage that make us unique and differs us of outsiders. In China’s case, cultural heritage equals traditional family value which represents the core and essence of Chinese philosophy. In conclusion, by studying rural town and villages it is enough to fully grasp the most important characteristic of China.

狐狸大叔UID: 2342950

the most important characteristics ，注意是characteristics，复数

maymightUID: 3255397

狐狸大叔 发表于 2012-6-25 18:29
the most important characteristics ，注意是characteristics，复数

不一定非要写characteristics 吧 单数也行吧。？

狐狸大叔UID: 2342950

意思是，题目没让你具体展开是哪一个，而是泛指最重要的characteristic们
所以最多列举下一些你觉得最重要的就行了，不是正文笔墨的重点

maymightUID: 3255397

狐狸大叔 发表于 2012-6-25 23:14
意思是，题目没让你具体展开是哪一个，而是泛指最重要的characteristic们
所以最多列举下一些你觉得最重要 ...

我就将characteristic 定义为某一个东西，然后论证major cities 里面没有，而rural places 里面有，所以不是非要研究major cities
这样不行么？

maymightUID: 3255397

狐狸大叔 发表于 2012-6-25 23:14
意思是，题目没让你具体展开是哪一个，而是泛指最重要的characteristic们
所以最多列举下一些你觉得最重要 ...

我就将characteristic 定义为某一个东西，然后论证major cities 里面没有，而rural places 里面有，所以不是非要研究major cities
这样不行么？

panmingming2008UID: 2535351

maymight 发表于 2012-6-26 00:16
我就将characteristic 定义为某一个东西，然后论证major cities 里面没有，而rural places 里面有，所以不 ...

你可以表达你的看法。

但你要看看题目的要求，以及了解GRE写作的批改规则。

建议认真研习Official Guide 写作部分。

你不了解写作规则，在那里“我这样行不行？” 就太不把ETS出题机构当回事了。

你可以去信ETS: ETS阿叔阿婶，你们的scoring guide可不可以为我的思维模式量身定制？？？

你觉得自己改变旧有的思考方式、写作习惯容易些呢, 还是到ETS总部抗议要求对方改变更容易?