【Daily Writing作文特训小组】igrowing作业贴+备考日志

Tony998UID: 3300696

igrowing 发表于 2012-7-22 05:22
很抱歉我这样分好几次回复。。。我总是忽然想到啥就回复你。。。
关于这句话：We live together and adu ...

首先感谢你诚心诚意的落实反馈，如果确信有明确的出处的话就只管用，不用在意我的看法，以后有这样类型的问题也请回复我，相互促近进步嘛:)

Tony998UID: 3300696

igrowing 发表于 2012-7-22 05:22
很抱歉我这样分好几次回复。。。我总是忽然想到啥就回复你。。。
关于这句话：We live together and adu ...

成果的话我看是有的，只不过要经过量变到质变的变化，我觉得理想状态就是:你拿到作文以后，就知道想些啥要写啥，能够想出几条思路，行文就像条件反射一样举例，展开，总结陈词，是一个一气呵成的过程，希望我们都能达到这样啦:D

mayijieUID: 3280191

:victory:

melaniewUID: 3345865

:handshake 写得很好~

猛龙过江UID: 3220220

请参考，我觉得lz的思路对的，只是部分单词的部分用法还需考究。谢谢

SYNCIAUID: 3130718

【Daily Writing】7.24 Revised by Syncia.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-7-25 23:44:22 上传

下载次数: 4

与君共勉！ 欢迎交流！

oyyy0702UID: 2851210

改好了~：）楼主好赞！ 【Daily Writing】7.25 revised by oyyy.doc (32 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-7-26 16:01:11 上传

下载次数: 4

eileen73UID: 3256364

7.26已改，楼主过目啊。水平有限啊没改出啥来、、、

windmuhuaUID: 3207948

已改请过目，，

igrowingUID: 3330387

windmuhua 发表于 2012-7-27 17:04
已改请过目，，

哈哈，我是先给你改了作文，再看你给我改得，所以还很多此一举得在你的作文里也提到了论证的问题，我这两天真是要给比较题逼疯快了。。。

igrowingUID: 3330387

windmuhua 发表于 2012-7-27 17:04
已改请过目，，

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=1#pid1776103017这篇文章就是26的题目，romanus老师认为这样的论述很好很强大。供参考~

windmuhuaUID: 3207948

igrowing 发表于 2012-7-27 22:49
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1403016&page=1#pid1776103017这篇文章就是26的题 ...

楼主也在看pat的书吧！pat在写作思路的一章有专门讲这类文章的写法。
不过没有给出范文，只有自己摸索具体怎么操作了。。与君共勉！

my2013UID: 3215979

不好意思，楼主，我权限不够，就直接贴文章了。:)

楼主的作文写的太赞了，论证分析也特别充分，特别是第三段的论证，这正是我要努力学习的地方，以后多交流哈！



11.9.16NA: 让你家孩子将来和你干一样的工作。

题目不完整，我找了小组一楼的2011题库，直接用英文的题目了
Do you agree or disagree: It is better for your children doing similar jobs with you.

Job, as one of the most significant ingredients of people’s lives, is always drawing our attention（用现在时态是不是好点？）. Because of fierce competition and job shortage, it is not exaggerated to say that 90 percent of parents begin to take children’s future careers into consideration even before their kids’ birth. Some people place experiences and social resources as the key element in vocation, and suggest children do similar jobs with them. In my opinion, however, working in the same field and initiating their own career path in another area are both great choices.

Admittedly, kids doing similar work with parents can heritage （inherit） a wealth of lessons and resources. There are not only so many politicians living in political families, but a large amount artisans, actors and even doctors as well（感觉没说完，应该同样出生世家对吧？和not only 的句型对称是不是更好？）. Children can follow several great instructions and avoid repeating many mistakes in their careers, both of which are driving force to their success in the end. Take George W Bush whose father served as the president of United States as an example. His clear aim to be a politician from childhood, a great number of supporters accumulated by his father and the cherished lessons he learned from his family members’ experiences jointly attribute his achievement. So it is reasonable to say doing similar jobs with parents is better for children under the prerequisite that they are coincidently interested in the same sphere as parents.

Besides, children may be appealed to and more willing to get involved in other areas when they are growing up. As our society change ever-fast, children now possess a wider selection of jobs than before, some of which might not exist in previous time. If parents force kids to develop in a pre-arranged direction, the outcome might turn out to be a disappointment. My husband and I both majored in law. If my kids go to raptures at the mere mention of biology, our efforts to guide them think as a lawyer must be in vain. On this occasion, it will be better for kids to choose their own steps towards brilliant careers.

Apparently, kids can live enthusiastically if they do what they want every day. On the other hand, they are likely to make accomplishments, taking the similar jobs as parents. What really matters is children’s interests. To sum up, for my children, doing similar jobs is as a good choice as developing in other areas（觉得主宾调换一下更能呼应前面的兴趣说）.

PS. 我和楼主一样的专业哦，我想申13年的LLM，不知楼主是否和我一样？

igrowingUID: 3330387

windmuhua 发表于 2012-7-28 08:31
楼主也在看pat的书吧！pat在写作思路的一章有专门讲这类文章的写法。
不过没有给出范文，只有自己摸索具 ...

对啊对啊，我去好好读读，我最近还在看175，都还没来得及看别的。。。要抓紧啊

SYNCIAUID: 3130718

我简单看了一下你的7.27的文章，有点小评价：个人觉得你并没有写出立场。 你的总论点就是：working in the same field and initiating their own career path in another area are both great choices. 并没有针对论题：“Do you agree or disagree :  It is better for your children doing similar jobs with you.  你觉得呢？ 这种比较级的题目，如果一定要写中立，就要分情况。可是你的首段并没有说明分情况论述（父母和孩子兴趣是否相同）。
PS: 其实我本人觉得写中立是很难写好的。 我为立论的事情，思考过好久...
期待反馈~