求 Romanus修改作文

rebecca小芊UID: 3202689

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.



Friends are an important part of life for everyone in the world. People should always help friends when he is in a trouble. However, some hold that it is better to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination citing the reason that tutors are always good at help others on the subject. Meanwhile, others support that ask friends to help is better and that is also my point.

First of all, with the help of friends, people can improve their friendship. For one thing, help a friend in his study can provide more time to stay together. People can talk, exchange ideas and even have a dinner. It surely can make the two hearts grow fonder. For another, when people get help from his friends, he will keep the kind in heart and regard the friend as a kind people. He would like to have a closer relationship with him which brings a life friend. When I was in the primary, once I failed in the math test and I was very upset. It was my friend Susan came to help me every day and made me get a good score in the next exam. I was so moved and regard her as my best friend.

What's more, the talking in study is more efficient between two friends than two strangers. It is because people in tend to be more easy when he is faced his friend. He can told his friend where confused him. In contrast, people may feel shamed and have not the courage to ask some questions which looked stupid. He may think that question is too easy to ask because everyone in the class can understand. However, with a friend's help, he can ask these questions which seemed stupid. Besides this, as friends know each other well, they both know how to talk with the other and how to comprehend the words from the friend.

Admittedly, asking a friend to help may be a waste of time for the people as a free tutor. He can spend the time with listening to the music, taking part in an activity, watching a movie and so on. However, friend is more important than these things which can do other time. If a student's good friend is in trouble in the exam, he will not happy, too. After the study time together, they can hang together and have fun.

In conclusion, asking a friend when someone is in the trouble to pass an exam can offer a good opportunity to improve friendship. Besides, the two friends can communicate efficiently. Though there are some little disadvantages, the advantage is far more than the ill aspect. From my personal perspective, I would turn to my friend if I found it hard to pass an examination.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.

Friends are an important part of life for everyone in the world. People should always help a friends when he is in a trouble. However, some hold that it is better to turn to a tutor when he (Who?) finds it hard to pass an examination, citing the reason that tutors are always good at helping others on the subject. Meanwhile, others support that asking friends to help is better and that is also my point.

First of all, with the help of friends, people can improve their friendship. For one thing, helping a friend in his study can provide more time for people to stay together. (Your original sentence means it is the 'time' that stays together. There's an implicit subject within the infinitive clause '..(subj.) to stay together', which usually resolves to the nearest noun phrase to its left.) People can talk, exchange ideas and even have a dinner. It surely can make the two hearts grow fonder. For another, when a person gets help from his friends, he will keep the kindness in heart and regard the friend as a kind person. He would like to have a closer relationship with him which brings a life friend. When I was in the primary, once I failed in the math test and I was very upset. It was my friend Susan who came to help me every day and made me get a good score in the next exam. I was so moved and regarded her as my best friend. (So, are you saying that asking a tutor won't build you a long-lasting, beneficial relationship? Or, are you simply assuming tutors cannot be your friends – or vice versa – because the question apparently alludes to this assumption? Think about it :))

What's more, the talking in study is more efficient between two friends than two strangers. It is because people in tend to be more at ease when he is faced with his friend. He can tell his friend what confused him.(Your original use of 'where' is a suspect of direct translation..) In contrast, people may feel shamed and have not the courage to ask some questions which looked stupid. He may think that question is too easy to ask because everyone in the class can understands. However, with a friend's help, he can ask these questions which seemed stupid. Besides this, as friends know each other well, they both know how to talk with the other and how to comprehend the words from the friend.(So? What implications does this have on the studies? You need to bring your argument back to the main point of this paragraph and preferably the overall point you're arguing for. Example: 'Such mutual comprehensibility is vital to effective communication, and effective communication will definitely contribute to academic progress.' Notice how I've drawn a circle of logic by chaining the keywords from your argument back to those of the topic sentence of this paragraph, then back to those of the main point.)

Admittedly, asking a friend to help may be a waste of time for the people as a free tutor (I'm not quite understanding what this part means in this sentence.). He (Who?) can spend the time with listening to the music, taking part in an activity, watching a movie and so on. However, friend is more important than these things which one can do at other times (A 'which' clause needs to be a complete sentence – you need a subject, verb and so on. What you originally wrote is very Chinese-like.). If a student's good friend is in trouble in the exam, he will not be happy, either. After the study time together, they can hang out together ('hang' together and 'hang out' together are completely different. Make sure you know clearly what you're writing..) and have fun. (Basically, I don't get what this paragraph is trying to say. I don't see what its main point is, or what the arguments are.)

In conclusion, asking a friend when someone is in the trouble to pass an exam can offer a good opportunity to improve friendship. Besides, the two friends can communicate efficiently. Though there are some little disadvantages, the advantage is far more than the ill aspect. From my personal perspective, I would turn to my friend if I found it hard to pass an examination.

总结：

请注意长句和复句的语法，尤其是长句中的时态和单复一致。。

论述方面就是比较的飘忽松散，论证出去了回不来。。而且表达倾向于中文式的句法。我在第三段末尾给了你一个怎样把论证回溯到本段的分论点再回溯到主要论点的例子。。也就是如何把话讲圆喽~

rebecca小芊UID: 3202689

谢谢！！很受教！！