【915】issue 13再求个狠拍

EnolateUID: 3283311

issue 13.
Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student’s field of study.

write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Time: 30min                                    words: 549
I personally think that requiring every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study is of significant benefits to students 觉得和前面的requiring every student。。意思重复了, provided that they have already done well in their own majors and have abundant free time outside class. Because taking outside courses can broaden students' perspectives and lead them to a profound understanding of their own majors. Yet as the issue claims that this policy should apply to every student and a variety of courses are needed , I stay dubious about the terms " every student" and " a variety of courses". 其实上一句because..can broaden也没有定义这个a variety of courses

Confessedly, we cannot deny that 和confessedly重复 taking courses outside the student's field of study is a tendency in today's learning fields as well as an efficient way for study. No subject is isolated with each other, people have an increasing conscious of this idea. That is why interdisciplinary becomes a tendency in almost all fields of study. Being a university's student, taking courses注意你自己设置的限定范围啊，你并不觉得学习所有的courses都有益对吧outside your major can help delivering a general and wider view for your learning. For example, a student for a student吧 who is majoring in literature, if he/she has a conscious to peruse some knowledge of philosophy or history, he/she may be easier to the understanding of the literature. Like,? when learning the works of Shakespeare, besides reading his famous poems and dramas, students can understanding the meaning or core idea by knowing some history or political background information in his era.

However, since taking courses outside the student's field of study has some merits, should we apply it to every student? As I mentioned in the beginning  that this policy is beneficial given that students have already done well in their own majors. In that sense, students' own majors are fundamental to this claim这句理解起来有点费劲啊，是说学好本专业课程的前提下提议才有益的意思吧，可是that this的有点指代不明, and without learning well in their own majors, taking varieties of outside courses may seem to be useless.为啥呢……如果我不太理解莎士比亚的诗歌和戏剧，学习了当时的历史背景之后不是能帮助理解了吗 Just like a person has a lot of advanced equipments for swimming , but he/she still does not know any skills about swimming ,then these equipments are useless for he/she. In this example我觉得这个比喻不是很恰当……, the equipments represent the courses outside the class, and the swimming skills represent the learning of majors, which is the most important.

Furthermore, as to taking a variety of courses , does it really necessary to study a variety of courses.这个句子改改吧~ Students have a lot of homework to do and social works to handle, if it require students to take a variety of courses, it may be a bit hard for them to address their free time. On the other hand, taking a variety of courses which have nothing to do with their own majors is still --> alsouseless. For instance, if that literature student who is studying Shakespeare is required to take some chemistry course, then it may be ridiculous. Because studying chemistry may not do some good to his understanding of Shakespeare’s works. It is only a waste of time for him/her. Why? Only Shakespeare matters? 因为students' own majors are fundamental to this claim吗 For this example we can know that taking a variety of courses is not necessary, but taking some pertinent courses of your major is more important. //It cannot be indicated from this example...

Until now, we can safely draw a conclusion that requiring students who have done their majors well and have spare time for other things, taking//require sb do.. many pertinent courses to their majors can really benefit students a lot.  结尾可以写得更general更切题一些。你开头和结尾都说了对学有余力的同学来说学习更多课外内容是有好处的，但是都没有说对于其他同学怎么样

立场：对学有余力并且课外时间充裕的同学来说该建议有好处
论证：正面--对立场中提到的同学来说学习课外知识能帮助他们更好掌握专业知识
         反面1--但是对于对本专业掌握不精的同学来说，采纳这个建议会起反作用
         反面2--有些同学课外时间不多，这样做会加重他们的负担；反面3--学习与专业无关的知识对于学生并无帮助
结论：要求学有余力的同学这么做对他们是有帮助的

结构很好，论证不够有力：我觉得莎士比亚的例子让反面论证1变得weak了；正面论证中说学习课外课程对大学生有帮助，反面论证2却说literature major学习chemistry是useless的，同莎士比亚的例子一样有点前后矛盾
有些句子写得太长了或者分隔比较多就出错了

30分钟写这么多字真不错~

话说重了点……忠言逆耳，水平有限……
加油加油~

裤子李UID: 3370014

lz练了多久练到这个速度的？我速度太慢啦~求指教

裤子李UID: 3370014

sym0818 发表于 2012-9-12 13:47
其实吧。。。二战过的人，真心想告诉你，AW的分和字数没太大关系的。。。很多人写500、600字还是3-3.5分。 ...

3q，看来应该更多关注下逻辑方面的问题。