【独立写作】欣荷 作业贴

catfieldUID: 2481699

欣荷 发表于 2012-9-25 13:16
9.25独立写作
感觉自己写的头重脚轻的 关键是没时间了

9.24 written by Xinhe-revised by catfield.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-9-25 20:32:17 上传

下载次数: 3

已批改，请指教

欣荷UID: 3372608

我可能改的不好 都是我自己的想法 今天精神也不太好，你看看吧，如果又不合适的地方就忽略了 嘻嘻

wstfwUID: 3170761

欣荷 发表于 2012-9-25 13:16
9.25独立写作
感觉自己写的头重脚轻的 关键是没时间了

啊哈，改完啦！

baxiacandyUID: 3203456

已改

carinoUID: 2755773

9.28 Xinhe revised by carino.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-9-29 20:15:53 上传

下载次数: 3

晚了一点不好意思哈~~

欣荷UID: 3372608

carino 发表于 2012-9-29 20:16
晚了一点不好意思哈~~

你的观点提的很好的，我当时写的时候就觉得我写的那段公司的说法有点欠佳，谢谢你啦。

niewenjuan123sdUID: 3262544

改好了 改得不好还请见谅

lain0119UID: 2695504

我一看作文，发现我们俩写的题目好像有点不一样，然后又看了一遍主题帖，发现确实我们俩写的是不同的题目。。。
不过我觉得你的论证，单词的运用都很好；需要注意的是句子的长度和主题句。

chocoletUID: 3214699

10.4 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People can learn more from watching television than by reading books.
修改by chocolet
Ever since the television has been invented, the way of people’s life has changed a lot. Compared to books, we are able to be aware of the latest events on the other side of the world much faster than before[是谁compared to book?没讲清除]. When asking that whether we learn much more from watching television or reading books, different people may have different ideas. For my part, I believe that despite that television has brought [Add”about much more”]various programs that we can achieve than before, we [Delete are] still learn much more from books since we can read the books more than one time and [Add “it”]provide more comfortable environment for us to learn.
No one can deny that television gives us much more visual and audit enjoyment which can help us learn much faster than boring books. Firstly, compared to a book which has limited perspectives of the author and certain focus, TV has much more programs that include knowledge from various areas including News, culture, history, geography, astronomy and so on so forth[Delete”so forth”]. Secondly, television programs are vivid. For instance, we can easily acquire the knowledge of the life of puma through an animal TV program named ‘The world of animal’. While we are willing to learn the same information from books, we may need to read a lot, because the reading materials sometimes are so abstract and tedious that we cannot digest it immediately.
Does that mean we can safely conclude that we learn much more from TV compared with[Change “with” to “from”] books? The answer, I am afraid, is that it is not that optimistic. Despite that TV is colorful and interesting compared to books, I have to say that people tend to learn less just because of its prosperity. When watching TV, we are always readily shifting one program to another, and then finally found that we grasp little from any. Besides, unlike pure books, TV provides us with not only the interesting programs but also redundant series of soaps and endless advertisement, which may distract us and waste a lot of time.
Furthermore, people hold different attitude toward watching TV and reading books. While watching TV, our aim is to enjoy the leisure and for fun. In fact, we barely want to learn much information, technology, or knowledge from TV programs. Sometimes we may just need to kill the time, or ease the pressure from one day’s hard work. On the other hand, the intention of reading books is always to acquire knowledge in certain area. We often read books read books [Delete”read books”]in a relative peaceful environment, like in the[A is better] library, where we can easily concentrate on what we want to know.
From what has been discussed above, we can confirm that although TV are much colorful and abundant, we learn much more from books because of its purity and people’s inclination toward reading books.
Remark:
楼主应该是同时在准备G的，词汇的使用和句式都不错。就是有些累赘，第二段的讨论和第一段重复，推荐直接写出advantage。

chocoletUID: 3214699

顺便帮我的改下吧~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1454454-1-1.html
在底下的帖子。

xdc_901026UID: 3291377

10.4-revised by xdc_901026.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-10-5 20:43:19 上传

下载次数: 3

已改，顺便帮我改下哈~

喵呜~UID: 3339380

10.14 written by xinhe.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-10-15 18:31:40 上传

下载次数: 2

B因子大片段UID: 3383323

lz思路好好啊~句子词汇也没啥问题:victory:

wuxiang0220UID: 3354608

已改~