【独立写作】欣荷 作业贴

欣荷UID: 3372608

10.17 written by Xinhe.doc (24.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-10-17 21:06:53 上传

下载次数: 4

10.10written by xinhe.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 11)

2012-10-10 11:01:28 上传

下载次数: 11

9.28-written by Xinhe.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 13)

2012-9-28 17:14:54 上传

下载次数: 13

9.29 written by xinhe.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-9-29 22:04:24 上传

下载次数: 3

10.4-written by xinhe.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 9)

2012-10-4 22:10:12 上传

下载次数: 9

日落战托福UID: 3374428

已改。我的在这里https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1451265-1-1.html
Whether young people or old people enjoy life more? It is a skeptical question, and different people might have different ideas. In my opinion, to some extent, young people have much more chances to keep up with the rapid development of modern society so that they are readily to enjoy the happiness brought from the advancement of technology and information. However, that doesn’t mean that older people cannot have the same level of enjoyment. They just can enjoy the other side of life, like the time spent with family members since they have plenty of time.

First of all, the information and the technology vary from day to day, so young people, who with brilliant brain and quick learning ability are able to accept new information and grasp new technology much faster than older people. For instance, in my hometown, a small countryside, many young people can use computers since it is not difficult for them to type the words by the keyboard, on the other side, most of the older don’t know even how to start up the computer, sometimes, they even were scared of it because they are afraid that they might be infected by the ‘virus’. As we can see, young people are always lead the social trends and enjoyed the fresh feeling and excitement of new technology and information.

Virtually, besides enjoy the technology reformation, they also have much more entertainment compared to old people. It is partially due to their good fit and strong curiosity towards the new things. In the spare time, young people cannot only go to the bars, KTV rooms and clubs to relax, but also can have a gathering with their peers. While old people always feel lonely at home during the holidays.
举例可以再详细一点。
However, the rapid development of technology and colorful entertainment don not bring everything that is beneficial for young people, they sometimes are tired of the tight life, and the heavy tasks that assigned by their supervisors and the busy schedules filled with dating and social communications. Oppositely, older people can ease their life because they often don’t need to work if they are retired. Thus they have much more time to do exercise in the morning and walk after dinner with their pats. Apparently, they are the ones who enjoy the peaceful side of life.
写的不错这一段。
To sum up, young people are easy to enjoy excitement brought by the modern society but old people can also enjoy their peaceful life during their spare time.

总体文章是头重脚轻的感觉，开头要再精炼些，下面的论据要再具体，要写细节。措辞修改不大，改了部分用词。

欣荷UID: 3372608

9.21
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement：Two people can still become friends if one of them has more money than the other one does.

Will you mind making friends with someone who gain much more fortune than you, and are you still willing to keep the relationship with an underclass friend? Don’t answer my question without hesitation and just think about it carefully. This is actually a question refers to every aspects of our life, our fortune, our reputation, our moral culture and so on. For my part, I still believe that it is possible for us to make friends with others despite the gap in our wealth levels.

With the increasingly rapid development of the economics and the heavier economic pressures aroused from buying a house or car, travelling, raising a child from kindergarten to college, money becomes a vital symbol to judge a person’s accomplishment. Thus whether you are rich or poor has become a subtle question among people who want to be friends. The rich might worry that if their wealth can make their friends uneasy, and even seriously, they might care about that if others make friends with them because of their fortune rather than the true feeling. On the other hand, the poor might be afraid that they would be look down upon by the rich. No one can deny the phenomenon that there might emerge obstacles and distrust between the poor and the rich.

Does that mean the fortune can really prohibit the friendship among two people? Is it impossible for two persons with different level of wealth to set up a friendship? Of course the answer is negative. In my opinion, the true friends built their friendship based on their mutual appreciation about their personality, moral culture or their common interest. Although, the more and more materialistic society sometimes disappoints us in some beliefs such as true friendship and love, we can still see some persons maintain their friendship quite well even the divergence of their fortune becomes larger. Besides, the person’s fortune is one of the most uncertain things in modern society, a person might plunged into debt or become a millionaire overnight, but the truly things between friend, for instance, their long-period dedication and loyalty, understanding, concerning and trust lasts much longer than the wealth itself. Thus in long run, a friendship can by all means be built up by mutual appealing and appreciation no matter the other one is poor or rich.

In conclusion, it is more risky than before to make friends with others who had different level of wealth, since the rich need to evaluate the poor’s initial purpose, and the poor have to get a certain feeling that they won’t be judged by climbing to high top positions for money or be degraded. However, we can also make friends with others based on our loyalty, trust, and common passion, after all, the fortune is subordinate than these cherished moral character.

alexcuiUID: 3365616

revised by alexcui.doc (31.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2012-9-21 21:26:04 上传

下载次数: 3

修改好了

喵呜~UID: 3339380

亲  我没看到 你21号的作文哦   你如果上传的话  直接贴到https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1450955-1-1.html  这样我好找啊  

欣荷UID: 3372608

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement：Two people can still become friends if one of them has more money than the other one does.

Will you mind making friends with someone who gain much more fortune than you, and are you still willing to keep the relationship with an underclass friend? Don’t answer my question without hesitation and just think about it carefully. This is actually a question refers to every aspects of our life, our fortune, our reputation, our moral culture and so on. For my part, I still believe that it is possible for us to make friends with others despite the gap in our wealth levels.

With the increasingly rapid development of the economics and the heavier economic pressures aroused from buying a house or car, travelling, raising a child from kindergarten to college, money becomes a vital symbol to judge a person’s accomplishment. Thus whether you are rich or poor has become a subtle question among people who want to be friends. The rich might worry that if their wealth can make their friends uneasy, and even seriously, they might care about that if others make friends with them because of their fortune rather than the true feeling. On the other hand, the poor might be afraid that they would be look down upon by the rich. No one can deny the phenomenon that there might emerge obstacles and distrust between the poor and the rich.

Does that mean the fortune can really prohibit the friendship among two people? Is it impossible for two persons with different level of wealth to set up a friendship? Of course the answer is negative. In my opinion, the true friends built their friendship based on their mutual appreciation about their personality, moral culture or their common interest. Although, the more and more materialistic society sometimes disappoints us in some beliefs such as true friendship and love, we can still see some persons maintain their friendship quite well even the divergence of their fortune becomes larger. Besides, the person’s fortune is one of the most uncertain things in modern society, a person might plunged into debt or become a millionaire overnight, but the truly things between friend, for instance, their long-period dedication and loyalty, understanding, concerning and trust lasts much longer than the wealth itself. Thus in long run, a friendship can by all means be built up by mutual appealing and appreciation no matter the other one is poor or rich.

In conclusion, it is more risky than before to make friends with others who had different level of wealth, since the rich need to evaluate the poor’s initial purpose, and the poor have to get a certain feeling that they won’t be judged by climbing to high top positions for money or be degraded. However, we can also make friends with others based on our loyalty, trust, and common passion, after all, the fortune is subordinate than these cherished moral character.

喵呜~UID: 3339380

921 by 252132618.doc (32 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2012-9-22 15:33:54 上传

下载次数: 1

欣荷UID: 3372608

9.22 It is more enjoyable to have a job and work long hours for three days in a week than to
work shorter hours for five days in a week.

If I have to choose between working long hours for three days in a week or working shorter hours in five days, I will definitely choose the former. Since only when I know that I can finish my tasks in three days, I will certainly accelerate my speed and enjoy the left four days to gain a complete relaxation.

First of all, people are easy to show their passion toward their work if they just need work three days a week. It is human nature to delay when we know that we have plenty of time and seize the time when they are aware of the limited time. Even if we know that the total hours will be equal whatever we need to work for three days or five days, we tend to pick up the speed if we know that we will have to hand up the tasks before Thursday in a week. That means we will do elaborate plans to promise that we won’t miss the deadline as well as improving our efficiency. Besides, people will feel excited and grateful when they know that they have four days to relax themselves and can do whatever they want to do beyond their superiors’ control. All the staff in the office will enjoy the happy atmosphere because of the extension of these positive emotions. Thus it is not hard for them to work vigorously, collaborate with each other readily, and gain much more accomplishment. If this can be last for a long period, the employee can get more interests as well as sense of importance from their achievements. Furthermore, their raised salary can cheer up their family, thus bring about much more pleasure.

Besides, four-day rest time is a brilliant idea for people to reduce their stress and enjoy their beautiful life besides work. It is not hard to imagine how excited you will be when you were told that you can have a four-day weekend. You can take a sound sleep, go hiking, go shopping, visit your friends, travel with your family, learn a craft that you are always yearning, all in all, you can do everything that you dreamed to do but laid up for a long time because of the previously short weekend. For me, I will never worry about that I might be unable to get back in time if I spent three days back home to visit my grandmother, and I even took a shower and had a good sleep before heading for the job. These leisure time and happy moments in the family brought by long and complete weekend will make our life colorful and meaningful than before.

In brief, only three days’ work can make people more enjoyable since it will not only bring more incomes by stimulating the employees’ work efficiency and establishing their sense of importance, but also give more freedom for them to ease their pressure.

huashiyiqikeUID: 2674177

0922作文：It is more enjoyable to have a job and work long hours for three days in a week than to
work shorter hours for five days in a week.



  Working seems an unpleasant thing for most of us, and we are trying all methods to get away from it. Before applying for a job, people will pay close attention to the working hours it required. Some will prefer working long hours for two or three days then have a long weekend, while others choose to work shorter hours for five days in a week. Which one is better varies according to the strength of the job and personal preferences.

In the first place, not many jobs can be done in a continuous way without degradation of quality.
  For particularly demanding job, working long hours is definitely not a smart choice. For example, driving taxis in a crowded city is very dangerous. The driver needs to stay focus all the time and is always under extreme tension. It won't take much time for them to be tired. If they insist in working despite their bad condition, accidents will be inevitable. Besides, working longer hours in one day won't bring in much cash after the rush hour is gone for taxi drivers, and the same goes for many other kinds of jobs.
  
  In the second place, choices are always subjective. As the saying goes, one person's meat is another person's poison. These days people are getting used to bringing work back home and do extra job at leisure time. While some are complaining about the pressure of work that is overwhelming and seemingly impossible to finish, others are pleased to have the convenience to build an office at home so that they can have fun with their workmates and work at home. If working is fun, and your colleagues are close to you, certainly you would like to spend more time at work. On the contrary, if you feel painful at work, then obviously the less frequently you are remind of it the better.
  
  All in all, whether work long hours for three days is better than work fewer hours for five days in a week is not for sure. Only by taking into account the property of the job and the person making the choice can one be sure what the best is for him.
  

9.22 It is more enjoyable to  have a job and work long hours for three days in a week than to   work shorter hours for five days in a week.      If I have to choose between  working long hours for three days in a week or working shorter hours in five days, I will definitely choose the former. Since only when I  know that I can finish my tasks in three days, I will certainly accelerate my  speed and enjoy the left four days to gain a complete relaxation.       1.between ..and..   2.since only -> if only   主题句太简单不够完整，应该把下文所有出现的理由都包括进来。      First of all, people are easy to show their passion toward their work if they  just need work three days a week. It is human nature to delay ->idle when we know that we have plenty of time and  seize the time when they are aware of the limited time. Even if we know that  the total hours will be equal whatever we need to work for three days or five  days, we tend to pick up the speed if we know that we will have to hand up  the tasks before Thursday in a week. That means we will do elaborate plans to  promise that we won’t miss the deadline as well as improving our efficiency.  Besides, people will feel excited and grateful when they know that they have  four days to relax themselves and can do whatever they want to do beyond  their superiors’ control. All the staff in the office will enjoy the happy  atmosphere because of the extension of these positive emotions. Thus it is  not hard for them to work vigorously, collaborate with each other readily,  and gain much more accomplishment->achieve more.  If this can be last for a long period, the employee can get more interests –>be more interested as well as sense of  importance from their achievements. Furthermore, their raised salary can  cheer up their family, thus bring about much more pleasure.   觉得有些是你自己创造的词组，如果不确定是不是对的最好不要这样写。。      Besides, four-day rest time is a brilliant idea for people to reduce their  stress and enjoy their beautiful life besides work. It is not hard to imagine  how excited you will be when you were told that you can have a four-day  weekend. You can take a sound sleep, go hiking, go shopping, visit your  friends, travel with your family, learn a craft that you are always yearning for, all in all, you can do everything that you  dreamed to do but laid up for a long time because of the previously short  weekend. For me, I will never worry about that I might be unable to get back  in time if I spent three days back home to visit my grandmother, and I even took a shower and had a good sleep before  heading for the job. These leisure time and happy moments in the family  brought by long and complete weekend will make our life colorful and  meaningful than before->ever.      In brief, only three days’ work can make people more enjoyable since it will  not only bring more incomes by stimulating the employees’ work efficiency and  establishing their sense of importance, but also give more freedom for them  to ease their pressure.

高级词汇很多
结构上我觉得可以用一段专门批驳对立的观点。而不是只站在自己这边。而且我觉得你的观点有点绝对，个人意见。。。

欣荷UID: 3372608

0922作文：It is more enjoyable to have a job and work long hours for three days in a week than to work shorter hours for five days in a week.



  Working seems an unpleasant thing for most of us, and we are trying all methods to get away from it. Before applying for a job, people will pay close attention to the working hours it required. Some will prefer working long hours for two or three days then have a long weekend, while others choose to work shorter hours for five days in a week. Which one is better varies according to the strength of the job and personal preferences.

In the first place, not many jobs can be done in a continuous way without degradation of quality.
  For particularly demanding job, working long hours is definitely not a smart choice. For example, driving taxis in a crowded city is very dangerous. The driver needs to stay focus all the time and is always under extreme tension. It won't take much time for them to be tired. （Thus they are readily to be tired in a short time.） If they insist in working despite their bad condition, accidents will be inevitable. Besides, working longer hours in one day won't bring in much cash after the rush hour is gone for taxi drivers, and the same goes for many other kinds of jobs.
  
  In the second place, choices are always subjective. As the saying goes, one person's meat is another person's poison. These days people are getting used to bringing work back home and do extra job at leisure time. While some are complaining about the pressure of work that is overwhelming and seemingly impossible to finish, others are pleased to have the convenience to build an office at home so that they can have fun with their workmates and work at home. If working is fun, and your colleagues are close to you, certainly you would like to spend more time at work. On the contrary, if you feel painful at work, then obviously the less frequently you are remind of it the better.
  
  All in all, whether work long hours for three days is better than work fewer hours for five days in a week is not for sure. Only by taking into account the property of the job and the person making the choice can one be sure what the best is for him.
  

我感觉你写的挺好的，主观客观的原因都写了， 句式也很丰富，我都没有什么可以改的，哈哈。看来托福作文很锻炼人的思维方式啊，大家的观点都会很不同。

欣荷UID: 3372608

9.22 修改过的
It is more enjoyable to have a job and work long hours for three days in a week than to
work shorter hours for five days in a week.

If I have to choose between working long hours for three days in a week and working shorter hours in five days, I will definitely choose the former. Only when I know that I have to finish my tasks in three days, I will certainly accelerate my speed and enjoy the left four days to gain a complete relaxation.

First of all, people are easy to show their passion toward their work if they just need work three days a week. It is human nature to idle when we know that we have plenty of time and seize the time when they are aware of the limited time. Even if we know that the total hours will be equal whatever we need to work for three days or five days, we tend to speed up if we know that we will have to hand up the tasks before Thursday in a week. That means we will do elaborate plans to promise that we won’t miss the deadline as well as improving our efficiency. Besides, people will feel excited and grateful when they know that they have four days to relax themselves and can do whatever they want to do beyond their superiors’ control. All the staff in the office will enjoy the happy atmosphere because of the extension of these positive emotions. Thus it is not hard for them to work vigorously, collaborate with each other readily, and achieve much more accomplishment. If this can be last for a long period, the employee can get more earning as well as sense of importance from their achievements. Furthermore, their raised salary can cheer up their family, thus bring about much more pleasure.

Besides, four-day rest time is a brilliant idea for people to reduce their stress and enjoy their beautiful life besides work. I have to say that only two days rest time is far from enough to take a full relaxation, since some of my friend said that they just take a sleep and do cleaning on the weekend, but have no time to do what they really want to. Now you can easily imagine how excited they will be when they were told that you can have a four-day weekend. They can take a sound sleep, go hiking, go shopping, visit their friends, travel with their family, and even learn a craft that they are always yearning, all in all, they are able to do everything that they dreamed to do but postponed /laid up for a long time because of the previously short weekend. For me, I will never worry about that I might be unable to get back in time if I spent three days back home to visit my grandmother, and I can even take a shower and had a good sleep before heading for the job. These leisure time and happy moments in the family brought by long and complete weekend will make our life colorful and meaningful than ever.

In brief, only three days’ work can make people more enjoyable since it will not only bring more incomes by stimulating the employees’ work efficiency and establishing their sense of importance, but also give more freedom for them to ease their pressure.

氢氟酸UID: 2579195

没怎么改，因为我觉得写得很好·~~ 9.22 written by Xinhe revised by HF.doc (31 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-9-24 04:20:15 上传

下载次数: 4

欣荷UID: 3372608

9.24 独立

喵呜~UID: 3339380

我后来没看到 你又贴了一篇921在我帖子里  今天才看到的   刚改完两篇作文后才改的你的   所以精神不是很好  没细看   但 总体你写的挺好的呢
921 by252132618.doc (16.74 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-9-24 14:24:12 上传

下载次数: 2

对了  上次没看你给我改的作文  今天看了   改得真好！！！  谢啦  你不用回复我  反正大家都忙  是吧  再谢

欣荷UID: 3372608

9.25独立写作
感觉自己写的头重脚轻的 关键是没时间了