【独立写作-作业】10.27倒计时，加油！！！

zhengyueshiUID: 2805800

之前发生了一个大悲剧，一想起来就要吐血。还有16天就要考了，第一次写完一篇完整的托福作文。因为考过G，在看了几天指导帖子以后，现在发现似乎有点矫枉过正了，希望大神能直接的告诉我这两篇作文是不是太过口语化了。。

题目是TPO02
综合：
The lecturer mainly stated that company found it doesn't go as the reading suggest after making teams of people responsible for project.

First of all, some member in a team may just get a free-ride. They do not contribute much to finish the task but got a recognition as one of the team to do it. While the people who actually work very well to give some insight opinion  and make a great contribution to do the job won't even have their name mentioned. This is very unfair to the hard working people, so they won't feel rewarding as the reading said.

Second, the group process won't turn out to be quicker than doing as individuals. When a team is in charge, it will take a long time to reach consensus. Without holding many meetings can't all group members agree on the same point and then start working.

Third, in each team there always been one or two person, considered as influential  person, who can control the whole team's working directions. If this influential person is a wise and skillful one, the outcome would be great. However, things could go very bad if the influential person direct the team into a wrong way. Because no one could challenge him to make the team go back and finally lead to a failure of all.

To draw the conclusion, working as a team has some deadly shortcomings , which contradict a great deal as the reading claims.

独立：
In my perspective, telling the truth is undoubtedly most important consideration in any relationship between people .

First of all, telling the truth is traditional virtue in my culture. Take me as an example, I have been educated to be honest since very young. When I was a little kid, my friends and I often play in the yard and, of course, we never fail to make a lot of trouble. Each time I did something wrong, I was never hesitate  to admit the mistake, though I was indeed afraid of being punished. On the contrary, some of my friends, say Li Lei, were always trying to escape from the punishment. The ending is, I guess you can already tell, I was the one who received less punishment. Why? Because compared with the little trouble a kid can make, keep the quality of telling the truth is what would be treasured most.

What's more, telling the truth should be the  only option given whatever conditions. Someone would argue that, in certain circumstances it may be good to tell a little lie in order not to hurt other’s emotion. I'd say it is totally wrong because once you tell a lie, you would continue telling much more lie s to make up the original one. Things may even get worse if your lie is exposed. In that way, you will never ever be trusted  even if you are telling the truth. As a consequence, the best choice is always telling the truth.

It is true that sometimes truth may be harmful. But it is not you, the speaker, who can decide whether the truth is harmful to others. In fact, no one can judge it until you tell the truth. Every one of us remains the right to know the truth, no matter bad or good, then we can make our own decision. This is the only way to make a judgment, which is telling the truth.

In conclusion, the most significant thing is always telling the truth in any relationship with people.


字数貌似也很少，请各位大神直言不讳地说出我的不足吧，我一定会认真接受所有批评与建议。

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

楼主挑篇写得比较好的给ro老师看看~:lol https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1455555-1-1.html

zhengyueshiUID: 2805800

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-10-11 21:59
楼主挑篇写得比较好的给ro老师看看~ https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1455555-1-1.html

多谢版主！唔，能不能麻烦您大致看看我这篇独立写作的，不用仔细批改，您就大概看看，然后评价一下这样写是否还在容忍范围内？因为我现在有点把握不住基本路线，都快不知道怎样想比较好了，拜谢！:hug:

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

zhengyueshi 发表于 2012-10-11 22:52
多谢版主！唔，能不能麻烦您大致看看我这篇独立写作的，不用仔细批改，您就大概看看，然后评价一下这样写 ...

不宜妄自菲薄;P
真的只是粗读了一下。其实我觉得你写的还挺不错。相比之下可能第一段不是那么流畅，在举例说明的语言上需要再提高一点。还有一些小的语法错误，不是很多，楼主自己再重新回顾一下就没问题了。

zhengyueshiUID: 2805800

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-10-11 22:58
不宜妄自菲薄
真的只是粗读了一下。其实我觉得你写的还挺不错。相比之下可能第一段不是那么流畅，在举 ...

确实是！版主说的太对了，我一直不是很会举例，尤其是说自己或者身边人的时候容易说一堆废话。主要是因为写的时候想着不要写成issue，结果写完发现里面几乎到处都是you怎么样you怎么样，觉得自己太小白了，有点崩溃。现在有信心多了，我还是会注意控制的，多谢版主~我会往好的方向努力的！

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

zhengyueshi 发表于 2012-10-11 23:13
确实是！版主说的太对了，我一直不是很会举例，尤其是说自己或者身边人的时候容易说一堆废话。主要是因为 ...

加油哦~有时间的话参加版上的写作小组还是不错的，或者请ro老师给你看看~

zhengyueshiUID: 2805800

决定加入写作小组了！坚持每天写作文，相信一定会提高的！就不开新帖占版面了，下面是今天的作业。
唉这篇就写的和第一篇完全两样，结果超时严重啊T T


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that can have fun with you than to choose friends that will help you when you need them.


Throughout one person’s life, there is a component that can never be substitute, whose name is friendship. As far as I’m concerned, a true friend brings your happiness and alleviates your sorrow. Thus, When choosing friends, it is important to choose someone that can have fun with you rather than help you when you are in need.

It goes without saying that a friend is the person who can give you companion and make you laugh. Take the most well-known detective, Sherlock Holmes, as an example. His best friend and maybe the only friend would be Watson, the doctor. Basically, Watson makes little contribution when his friend is solving mystery, while Holmes considers him as the most precious treasure in the world for his daily companion. It is not the help of arresting criminals that makes the detective choose Watson as his friend; however, maybe just the quiet listening to his violin makes more sense, which entertains them both.

Moreover, having fun together plays a significant role in maintaining friendship. Friendship can’t simply be built in the air. When you regard someone as friend, you will definitely not bear losing contact with him for long. In my childhood, I have a best friend named Li Gang, who used to hang out with me every day when we were in junior school. We had a great fun together, but the joyful time ended when he left to study abroad. Despite the fact I could still ask for his help via Internet when I was in need, we gradually contacted each other in decreasing frequency and finally come to an end.

It is true that friend will be very helpful when you need them, however, that does not suffice for friendship. Choosing a friend is not picking an advisor or helper, thus being helpful or not can’t be taken into account. When you want to set up a friendship with others, you are finding someone to share your hobby and fear, instead of seeking for potential assistance. In fact, after being helped, people would always feel grateful and may want to something in return. That is not what happens between friends. True friend would never ask for anything.

In conclusion, it’s of greater importance to choose a friend that can have fun with you while not to consider whether he is helpful or not.

zhengyueshiUID: 2805800

第一次参与作文小组就碰上幽灵组员，没写也没改，非常郁闷呃，希望这次有好运气~~~~

前两天因为帮女朋友准备13号一战，偷了点懒没有写作文，今天一定要振作回来！！！

坚持！坚持！废话完毕，以下是今天作业：

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Nowadays it is easier to maintain good health than in the past. (Old&new)

Pacing with a high level of civilization and modernization, people in recent era enjoy a great living performance, which is way beyond what our ancestors could imagine. As far as I’m concerned, it is indeed the fact that people nowadays are much easier to maintain good health than in the past.

First of all, advanced technology has greatly improved today’s health care. Numerical researches have shown that due to the development of medical technique and treating method, people’s average lifetime increased from around 40 to 90 in a few hundred years. There is a tremendous difference between now and past. Today, we just need to take several pills or some injection when we are sick to get cured while in ancient times we can only grab and chew some unidentified herbs then wait for God’s bless. In fact, we have conquered over 90% of disease which we can barely do anything about in the past. Science and technology does play a key role in helping people maintain good health.

What’s more, growing knowledge has made our dietary structure healthier and more balanced. Entering the 21th century, especially with computer and Internet widely are used, it is quite accessible for everyone to get large quantity of information about health diet. Beside this, with the growth of economy and globalization, food supply is no longer a problem that limit citizen’s living standard. On the contrary, people in the past had few limited food types and little knowledge of them either. As a result, a balanced diet and multiple food choice enable us to live a healthier life.

It is true that living in modern society also faces many health issues such as stress and pollution. However, it definitely counts too little when being compared with problems like starve and lethal disease, which we can do nothing about. Moreover, it can never conceal the fact that we have removed most obstacles for an ordinary people to get healthy. The simple fact is that most people at present time can get healthy if they want, while people at past cannot.

In conclusion, under fast growing science and technology along with increasing knowledge of health diet, people living in current world enjoy a great advantage in maintaining good health over those who live in the past.

feihong76UID: 3072089

1015修改稿
2012-10-15 zhengyueshi revised by feihong76.doc (32 KB, 下载次数: 21)

2012-10-16 19:26:44 上传

下载次数: 21

为梦想加油！

娜加UID: 2918328

改好了~~