[independent writing]求改

zdnfkkUID: 3372787

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As we know, parents have great impart on the child in various field and this import will last a long time.Therefore, some people may argue that parents must be the best teacher on their life. From my perspective, I do not agree this point of view.

First of all, most of parents have some bad habit which will be badly influence their children who spend most of their times with parents and imitate these bad habit, such as smoking ,speaking rabbit words and telling lies.On the other hand, their child will firmly claim that all of the bad habits was learning from parents and these situation will make their parents deeply feel sad.

Second, these is another point can support my perspective that though parents may have a specialist in some kinds of fields which can help child to study when they need, most of fields, especially which parents never involved, can be teached their offspring. However, when children in school,they can basely to achieve these knowledge in having class.

Finally, in my opinion, most of children who learn from their parents is different from other person . Some parents cannot teach some kinds of spirits to the children who should learn from their friends and companions, such as social team works and caring the feeling of their companions. What’s more, in some kinds of extremely case, some parent even ironically have not enough responsibility to care their children instead of teaching their knowledge .It is very disadvantage for children to grow up!

All in all, there are many kinds of fields that parents cannot understand and they may be teach child some bad habit in no sense , therefore, it is not correct that parents is the best teachers for child.

zdnfkkUID: 3372787

悲剧了 这篇writing写了超过40分钟 还这样水平 唉 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

楼主要注意一下简单的语法错误
比如 have some bad habit
还有词的用法 have great impart on the child
不要着急就找人拍 自己多写多改再发上来 要不就加入小组互改先

mpromanusUID: 2565872

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As we know, parents have great impart ('impart' is a verb. The noun you should use here would be something like 'impact'.) on the child (You started with a plural 'parentS', and here they share one singular 'the child'..) in various fields and this import ('import' is something different from both 'impact' and 'impart'. I'm not sure what exactly you wanted to express..) will last a long time. Therefore, some people may argue that parents must be the best teacher on their lives. From my perspective, I do not agree with this point of view.

First of all, most of (If you want to say 'most OF', then it must be 'most of the/these/those parents'.) parents have some bad habits which will be badly influences to/on their children who spend most of their times with parents and imitate these bad habits, such as smoking ,speaking rabbit words (You mean 'swearing'?) and telling lies. On the other hand, their children will firmly claim that all of the bad habits were learnt from parents and these situations will make their parents deeply feel deeply sad.

Second, these is another point that can support my perspective that though parents may have a specialism in some kinds of fields which can help children to study when they need, most of fields, especially in which parents never involved, can be taught to their offsprings (I don't quite understand this sentence. Why would the parents be able to teach their children in fields that they have 'never involved'?). However, when children are in school, they can basely (Do you mean 'basically'?) to achieve these knowledge in having class.(I don't quite get how this is relevant. You started the paragraph saying parents can teach their children, and here you say schools can teach children too – how do these two pieces of fact relate to the question of whether parents are the best teachers? You need to COMPLETE your logical reasoning, e.g. 'teachers in schools are more professional than parents so parents are not the best teachers'. Making an argument is not just about listing out facts on what you want to say, but also about showing very clearly how you get your conclusion from these facts.)

Finally, in my opinion, most of children who learn from their parents are different from other people (Who are these 'other people'?). Some parents cannot teach some kinds of spirits (You cannot teach 'spirits' at all because it's not an ideological concept. You can only teach things like 'virtues'.) to the children who should learn from their friends and companions, such as social team works and caring about the feeling of their companions. What’s more, in some kinds of extremely cases, some parents even ironically have not enough responsibility to care for their children instead of teaching their knowledge (I don't quite understand what this clause means because by 'instead of', you mean the parents should teach their children, and NOT 'care for' them, because 'instead of' expresses a relation where something undesirable has been done with regards to something more preferrable..What you wanted to say, per my guess, is 'some parents don't even have the responsibility to care for their children, let alone to teach them'..). It is very disadvantage for children to grow up! (This sentence literally means 'growing up will bring children many disadvantages' – I don't really know what you meant to express. Plus, this has nothing to do with the question..)

All in all, there are many kinds of fields that parents cannot understand and they may be teach children some bad habits in no sense (What does this phrase mean?), therefore, it is not correct that parents is the best teachers for children.

总结：

这篇的语法问题尤其是该用复数没有用的问题非常严重。情态动词（can, may之类）后面的动词问题也比较严重，请记住情态动词后面要么加be+名词/形容词，要么加动词原形，不是加be+动词！另外表意不清的问题也很严重，虽然你三个点都很好，我也知道你大概的论述意图是什么，但是你的表达让我没法理解你到底想说什么。。请从语法问题开始着手解决。表达问题可以参考高分范文。时间一开始不必太担心，确定自己能写出正确的句子，熟练之后速度会上去的。。