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[经典批改讨论] issue120 欢迎拍砖 [复制链接]

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发表于 2003-11-7 12:45:52 |显示全部楼层
昨晚写的,今天修改了一遍
未限时,523字

issue120
"So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

1、开头,反对,了解过去对指导当今人类的活动不可或缺。
2、历史总是不断的重复自身。现在所看到的一个崭新的事物极有可能是过去的某种延续,以民主的概念为例。
3、在处理很多棘手的历史遗留问题上,我们需要借鉴过去的经验。
4、历史见证了人类文明的发展,经验和教训,了解过去有助于我们尤其是青年人认识复杂事物。
5、结尾

So much is new and complex today, but what provides us a whole picture of the new era? What gives us a thread going through all these new coming complexities? And when we encounter the things which we have never meet before, is there any guidance for us to make discerning whether they will do good or harm to human race? All these problems need us to consider seriously. Actually, almost seemingly new things do share some common nature with another in the old time. Thus the understanding of the past aiming at providing guidance for living in the present is dispensable for us human beings.

History has been always recurring itself. Nowadays a seemingly new thing is in great part possible to be the offspring of some old one. Taking the concept of democracy as example, it was widespread accepted by the whole world about two hundreds years ago, however, if we want to track bake to its origin, we can easily find an old counterpart in ancient Greece and Rome Republic almost two thousands years ago. In that time Roman people selected candidates through slating while today the public choose their own leader of their nation by voting. They are too similar that we can regard today’s selective system as a good imitation on the basis of the understanding of the past.

Also, there are a lot of spiny problems inherited from the past. If they are not well dealt with, these problems would do great harm to our society and the public. Then the necessity of the understanding of the old existences serves to a smooth development. Clone, although a new technology regarding biology and gene technology, is concern dealing with the traditional moral problems. Many people worry about that once it inrushes into the society, the moral ethics and cultural foundation which have existed for thousands of years will collapse in one minute because it makes the concept such as family, marriage and pregnancy completely meaningless. So if we are conscious of the nature of this technology, no mater how profit, it is our responsibility to confine it in the laboratory.

Moreover, history has witness more and more complexities. The understanding of the past can also provide us a unique insight into human nature and human civilization, especially for our younglings. Through the eyes of others to see the world, we can develop a sense of context and coherence while discerning the intricacy. We confront the records not only of the human accomplishments but also of the human failures. No one would expect to see the recurrence of the tragedy Nazism brought to the whole world. No one would expect to see thousands of people wandering without any shelter only by the reason of wars. Only by understanding these tragedies of the past can we avoid their recurrence in the present and the future.

To sum up, the study of the past is fundamental to the understanding of the present. History makes us open-minded and judicious. Any blindness to the significance of the past will make us losing our way in current more and more new and complex world.
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Pisces双鱼座 荣誉版主

发表于 2003-11-7 16:20:48 |显示全部楼层
So much is new and complex today, but what provides us a whole picture of the new era? What gives us a thread going through all these new coming complexities? And when we encounter the things which we have never meet(met) before, is there any guidance for us to make discerning whether they will do good or harm to human race? (好!联串的问句开头!)All these problems need us to consider seriously. Actually, almost seemingly new things do share some common nature with another in the old time(times). Thus the understanding of the past aiming at providing guidance for living in the present is dispensable for us human beings(给出自己的topic,观点鲜明).

History has been always recurring itself. Nowadays a seemingly new thing is in great part possible to be the offspring of some old one(ones). Taking the concept of democracy as (an) example, it was widespread accepted by the whole world about two hundreds years ago, however, if we want to track(trace) bake to its origin, we can easily find an old counterpart in ancient Greece and Rome Republic almost two thousands(two thousand years或者是thousands of!) years ago. In that time Roman people selected candidates through slating while today the public choose their own leader of their nation by voting. They are too (so) similar that we can regard today’s selective(?election) system as a good imitation on the basis of the understanding of the past.(例子举的不错)

Also, there are a lot of spiny problems inherited from the past. If they are not well dealt with, these problems would do great harm to our society and the public. Then the necessity of the understanding of the old existences serves to(as) a smooth development. Clone, although a new technology regarding biology and gene technology, is concern(concerns) dealing with the traditional moral problems. Many people worry about that once it inrushes into the society, the moral ethics and cultural foundation which have existed for thousands of years will collapse in one minute because it makes the concept such as family, marriage and pregnancy completely meaningless. So if we are conscious of the nature of this technology(科技的本性是什么?没有说如何根据the understanding of the past来解决clone对传统道德的可能危害,而这一点应着重论述的。另外,我觉得clone的例子也不太合适,clone产生的问题也不是inherited from the past的), no mater how profit(profitable), it is our responsibility to confine it in the laboratory.

Moreover, history has witness(witnessed) more and more complexities. The understanding of the past can also provide us a unique insight into human nature and human civilization, especially for our younglings. Through the eyes of others to (see删掉) the world, we can develop a sense of context and coherence while discerning the intricacy. We confront the records not only of the human accomplishments but also of the human failures. No one would expect to see the recurrence of the tragedy Nazism brought to the whole world. No one would expect to see thousands of people wandering without any shelter (only比较别扭) by the reason of wars. Only by understanding these tragedies of the past can we avoid their recurrence in the present and the future.

To sum up, the study of the past is fundamental to the understanding of the present. History makes us open-minded and judicious. Any blindness to the significance of the past will make us losing our way in current more and more(current和more and more删掉一个) new and complex world.

用词好spiny、inrush…句式也很丰富。结构很标准:topic sentence+论证!值得很多刚刚开始写作文的朋友学习。
Never,never,never,never give up !!

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RE: issue120 欢迎拍砖 [修改]

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