issue207 请大家帮我改一改，谢谢！

Ivy0929UID: 149906

207”Rituals and ceremonies can help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.”

Nowadays, there increasingly arises much concern about whether rituals and ceremonies play a significant role in defining a culture. As the assertion presented by speaker, some people claim rituals and ceremonies are so crucial to define a culture that without them, societies or groups of people may have a diminished sense of who they are. I wholeheartedly agree with speaker. Nevertheless, rituals and ceremonies are not the only means of distinguishing a culture.

First of all, in a societal level, rituals and ceremonies serve as an important and indispensable means to distinguish and preserve a unique culture, which is a collection of all the essential richness selected and inherited by society. For instance, the Americans are always to happily and carefully prepare for Christmas Day with a beautiful Christmas tree decorated with colorful little bulbs and various exquisite gifts. On Christmas day, nearly all the people would spend the nice time with their families, to express their love and appreciation by sending presents to each other. And another popular example involves Latin American, where people are passionate for the nature. They like soulfully singing and dancing in the open air to demonstrate their love, admiring, and longing for the great nature. Accordingly, these rituals and ceremonies sufficiently reflect the spirit and virtues of a nation’s unique culture.

Furthermore, as for individuals, everyone tend to recognize and define his or her role in numerous rituals and ceremonies. During a person’s life journey, the 18th birthday may be unusual since it is the symbol of being adult, which means one should be independent and responsible to whatever he or she does. And in the wedding, one has to take an oath to prove his or her love, faith and duties to the lovers, in which, one may profoundly realize his or her responsibility to be an eligible husband or wife. And it is the inauguration of President, in which the President may address a wonderful speech to demonstrate his willingness, firmness, loyalty, persistence and democracy to dedicate himself to the country and his citizens, that helps the President to reinforce his accountability and confidence to be a wise leader. Therefore, without these rituals and ceremonies, people may unable to fully understand their responsibilities to their family and to the whole society, which is the key point to define who they are.

In the final analysis, nor are rituals and ceremonies the only means of preserving cultural identity. To illustrate this point clearly, one need look no further than the official language of China, namely “mandarin”. The mandarin is a vivid and affluent language with a long history, which is a particular culture of china and can fully embody Chinese culture such as Confucianism. And African-Americans distinguish themselves today by their special manner of speech and gesture. Another compelling example is that Japanese are likely to demonstrate its distinctiveness through dress and life-style, such as the conditional kimono and typical food of sashimi. In short, countless other means can equally differentiate the distinctive culture of a nation.

In sum, to define a culture, rituals and ceremonies are not only desirable but also indispensable, no matter to a societal level, or to individuals. Simultaneously, rituals and ceremonies are not the only means of distinguishing a culture, and other means such as language, dress, and life-style, are equally beneficial to define and preserve a cultural identity. (一个半小时，586)

Ivy0929UID: 149906

我的思路：
1，从社会角度来讲，rituals and ceremonies有助于定义文化。
2，从个人角度来讲，rituals and ceremonies有助于定位个人的角色。
3，rituals and ceremonies不是唯一的定义文化的方法。

这个逻辑结构合理吗？
谢谢大家！

blueseaheartUID: 127701

Nowadays, there increasingly arises much concern about whether rituals and ceremonies play a significant role in defining a culture. As the assertion presented by speaker, some people claim rituals and ceremonies are so crucial to define a culture that without them, societies or groups of people may have a diminished sense of who they are. I wholeheartedly agree with speaker. Nevertheless, rituals and ceremonies are not the only means of distinguishing a culture.
wholeheartedly agree与Nevertheless是不是有点矛盾？


First of all, in（on) a societal level, rituals and ceremonies serve as an important and indispensable means to distinguish and preserve a unique culture, which is a collection of all the essential richness selected and inherited by society. For instance, (the)去掉 Americans are always to happily and carefully prepare for Christmas Day with a beautiful Christmas tree decorated with colorful little bulbs and various exquisite gifts. On Christmas day, nearly all the people would spend the nice time with their families, to express their love and appreciation by sending presents to each other. And another popular example involves Latin American, where people are passionate for the nature. They like soulfully singing and dancing in the open air to demonstrate their love, admiring, and longing for the great nature. Accordingly, these rituals and ceremonies sufficiently reflect the spirit and virtues of a nation’s unique culture.

Furthermore, as for individuals, everyone tend（s) to recognize and define his or her role in numerous rituals and ceremonies. During a person’s life journey, the 18th birthday may be unusual since it is the symbol of being adult, which means one should be independent and responsible to whatever he or she does. And in the wedding, one has to take an oath to prove his or her love, faith and duties to the lovers, in which, one may profoundly realize his or her responsibility to be an eligible husband or wife. And it is the inauguration of President, in which the President may address a wonderful speech to demonstrate his willingness, firmness, loyalty, persistence and democracy to dedicate himself to the country and his citizens,(这里 to demonstrate and to dedicate是什么结构？） that helps the President to reinforce his accountability and confidence to be a wise leader. Therefore, without these rituals and ceremonies, people may unable to fully understand their responsibilities to their family and to the whole society, which is the key point to define who they are. （这段观点很不错，同时语言表达也很好）

In the final analysis, nor are rituals and ceremonies the only means of preserving cultural identity. To illustrate this point clearly, one need look no further than the official language of China, namely “mandarin”. The mandarin is a vivid and affluent language with a long history, which is a particular culture of china and can fully embody Chinese culture such as Confucianism. And African-Americans distinguish themselves today by their special manner of speech and gesture. Another compelling example is that Japanese are likely to demonstrate its distinctiveness through dress and life-style, such as the conditional kimono and typical food of sashimi. In short, countless other means can equally differentiate the distinctive culture of a nation.

In sum, to define a culture, rituals and ceremonies are not only desirable but also indispensable, no matter to a societal level, or to individuals. Simultaneously, rituals and ceremonies are not the only means of distinguishing a culture, and other means such as language, dress, and life-style, are equally beneficial to define and preserve a cultural identity. (一个半小时，586)

一个小小建议是不是先个人再社会，有从小到大的递进。