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[习作点评] 不知道这么晚了会不会有人注意到,第二篇argument [复制链接]

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发表于 2013-10-23 22:46:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
第二篇写得还是很慢啊啊啊!这个速度在考场上绝对不够用的=3=不过这次找观点的时候比较快速了,继续加油吧!感谢各位抽空帮我看看改改~~
The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams’ revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

By listing some of the advantages, the letter suggested that choosing Adams Realty leads to a faster pace and a higher price in selling one's house. However, the conclusion was based on a few assumptions that yet to be warranted. These hypotheses may have major influences on the argument.

To start with, the letter proposed that Adams Realty is superior, while the criterion was built over several assumptions.

First, when comparing the number of agents, the author assumed that every agent in either company is considered to have the exact same abilities. However, as a matter of fact, different individuals have different qualities. Thus, a greater number cannot lead to a greater quality, especially in a firm where teamwork plays an important role. It is possible that the 25 workers in Fitch's can accomplish more than 40 people in Adam's.

Second, only last year's revenues were considered, and revenues before last year were supposed to be similar. It was only after assuming not only did Adam Realty earn more last year, but also all the other time did the argument prove Adam was better. From the letter, there's no doubt that incomes made by Adam Realty outran Fitch's in last year, though comparisons of other years weren't involved in the letter. If the fact is that Fitch's revenue exceeds Adam Realty's all the time except for last year, the statement will become a lie no matter how much the Adam's made last year.

Third, no matter what kind of house it is, the speed of selling was always faster by Adam Realty. The author used an example in order to show the efficiency of Adam Realty and Fitch Realty on selling his/hers properties. However, there was an obvious difference between two houses, one of the two houses was listed ten years ago while the other one a year before. It was by this difference that caused the speed of selling the houses was affected by massive factors rather than real estate firms. Factors including economy situation, status of the houses, needs of people at the time, and so on are directly connected with the selling time. Other than those, location of the houses is also another important consideration because it determines the number of people who are interested in the house. For instance, more people will seek and ask for a place downtown rather than a house far away in countryside. Without putting these factors into consideration, the assumption is thoughtless.

From the letter, the conclusion that Adam Realty is superior is based on three assumptions which were proved unwarranted. Hence, without the foundation, it's in doubt that Adam Realty is better than Fitch Realty.

What's more, it was proposed choosing an advanced real estate company would surely lead to the result of selling the house fast and gaining a higher prize. In fact, the speed and prize of selling the house are more linked to other factors. For instance, economy environment is one of the conclusive causes. With a great deal of money to expense, once people spot houses they like, chance will be greater they buy them. On the other hand, if citizens possess with lower amount of money, there would be fewer people considering purchasing new houses. Therefore, this proposal is also unverified, which results in the unconvincing of the argument.

People who list their properties would like to have their houses rapidly sold, in the mean time gain as much payment as possible. The author of the letter was well-intention to provide suggestions to a friend. However, the opinions built on assumptions yet to be verified are not likely to have any significant effect on persuading people to choose Adam Realty so as to sell their home.
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RE: 不知道这么晚了会不会有人注意到,第二篇argument [修改]
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不知道这么晚了会不会有人注意到,第二篇argument
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1657913-1-1.html
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