Issue71 集思广益的，看过来，希望大家发表一下这个题目的进攻路线

猫咪meUID: 155478

这篇文章我自己觉得写得不怎末舒服，拿出来讨论是希望，有高人能提供更好地思路，尤其在逻辑上大家多多帮忙指正。其他人是怎末写的啊？
Issue71 Spending time alone makes one a better companion to others.

Does spending time alone make one better companion to others? The speaker claims so and I partly agree with the assertion. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others, but it can’t go to extremes.

Each person has privacy. However intimate two or a group of people may be , they are still independent ones. They have different and independent characters in law. Consider, a couple, for example. A couple have the closest relationship in the world to the extent that they even can share the same properties, they still are two individuals. Husband can keep some privacy from his wife while wife can also withhold some secrets from her husband, if they are not willing to tell. Even under the current law system, it is legal to keep secrets, especially such withheld information involves professional secrets. On the other hand , without keeping certain distance, harm might be done to relationship. It is understandable that no one wants to show others his or her disadvantages and no man is perfect. Suppose a person A knows everything about another one B, including some deficiency. A can hardly respect B so much as before. At the same time B is upset all day long, worried about that he will lose a dear friend or A will probably disclose B’s shortcomings to others. In this case ,A and B can never be so good friends as before. Obviously, to some degree, proper distance can put each at ease and therefore keep longer friendship. Individuals usually have one’s secrets and space to take a breath.

Individual alone can work more efficiently in some areas. Some kind of work can be done even more effectively and efficiently when one works alone, a case in point is reading. Reading is a process of getting information ,reasoning, and thinking. The quieter, the more effective. We can see it in our everyday life. When we get together, we have a discussion, and when we are alone, we read. Reading mainly involves the work of one’s own, even though it may need discussion in the later stage. In reading and areas alike, personal effort is more evaluated and estimated than companion. One can finish task more effectively on one’s own so that one can have more time to communicate with other people. In addition, people also need time to think, and only staying alone can lead to better thinking. Often through thinking ,can people realize more about themselves and others, which resultes in a better understanding and appreciation of people. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others to the extent that one finish task with shorter time.

However, the assertion can’t go to extremes. Spending time alone may be account for lacking ability to communicate effectively with other people. In the old days, hermits, getting used to live alone ,were afraid of talking to strangers .Too long period of staying alone and not talking to people have made him or her have the inclination to escape from human and gradually the hermit becomes self-closed, in the end ,inability of companion.

Thus, to keep better relationship ,certain proper distance is required to satisfy the needs of privacies and secrets, for everyone is independent. Working in some areas alone is more efficient and more effective so that plenty of time is saved to communicate with others. On the other hand, spending time alone can’t be overestimated, for too much time spending time alone will lead to inability of companion.

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

你body1 写it is impossible to spent all time with others
    body2 spend alone  can lead to more efficient and more effective work
    body3　extremely alone 不行
可以啊，　总的结构　　反正反　　
感觉，    段落内有点松散，不太严密　
          自己觉得写得不怎末舒服，可能因为越到最后,如body 3越力不从心，不知咪咪有没有限时阿

这题让我写，我会body3 balance two above for better relationship, 只写extremely alone 呵呵，缺了点似的,当然总论点要稍微变变

雪夭UID: 142334

我的提纲是
1、个人。创造性，思维，独立
2人与人之间的交流
3、两者互相促进
我觉得这个题目balance一下很重要

libbyUID: 151455

Does spending time alone make one better companion to others? The speaker claims so and I partly agree with the assertion. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others, but it can’t (cannot是美国人的普遍用法)go to extremes (extremeness 极端, 过分).

Each person has privacy. However(Although你觉得怎样?) intimate two or a group of people may be, they are still independent ones. They have different and independent characters in law(用这个在这里不觉得有什么好). Consider, a couple, for example. A couple have the closest relationship in the world to the(some)extent that they even can share the same(some common) properties, they still are two individuals.(我想这句话也犯了小的语法错误吧,这里应该是两句话或用个连词连接) Husband can keep some privacy from his wife while wife can also withhold some secrets from her husband, if they are not willing to tell. Even under the current law system, it is legal to keep secrets, especially such withheld information involves professional secrets. On the other hand , without keeping certain distance, harm might be done to relationship. It is understandable that no one wants to show others his or her disadvantages and no man is perfect. Suppose a person A knows everything about another one B, including some deficiency. A can hardly respect B so much as before. At the same time B is upset all day long, worried about that he will lose a dear friend or A will probably disclose B’s shortcomings to others. In this case ,A and B can never be so good friends as before. Obviously, to some degree, proper distance can put each at ease and therefore keep longer friendship. Individuals usually have one’s secrets and space to take a breath.

Individual alone can work more efficiently in some areas. Some kind of work can be done even more effectively and efficiently when one works alone,(这里的逗号可以引导2个句子吗? 不明白?) a case in point is reading. Reading is a process of getting(acquiring怎样?) information ,reasoning, and thinking. The quieter, the more effective. We can see it in our everyday life. When we get together, we have a discussion, and when we are alone, we read(mediate我觉得更好). Reading mainly involves the work of one’s own, even though it may need discussion in the later stage. In reading and areas alike, personal effort is more evaluated and estimated than companion. One can finish task more effectively on one’s own so that one can have more time to communicate with other people. In addition, people also need time to think, and only staying alone can lead to better thinking. Often through thinking ,can people realize more about themselves and others, which resultes(results) in a better understanding and appreciation of people. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others to the extent that one finish (finishes) task with shorter time.

However, the assertion can’t go to extremes. Spending time alone may be account for lacking ability to communicate effectively with other people. In the old days, hermits, getting used to live alone ,were afraid of talking to strangers .Too long period of staying alone and not talking to people have made him or her have the inclination to escape from human and gradually the hermit becomes self-closed, in the end ,inability of companion(我觉得这个不妥,在这里它只是同伴,同事的意思).

Thus, to keep better relationship ,certain proper distance is required to satisfy the needs of privacies and secrets, for everyone is independent. Working in some areas alone is more efficient and more effective so that plenty of time is saved to communicate with others(我觉得题目是强调spending time alone,but not working alone). On the other hand, spending time alone can’t be overestimated (outweighed), for too much time spending time alone will lead to inability of companion.

说两句吧!看了你的文章后,我感觉你在很多方面是比我强多了,你很会使用 祈使句,插入语, 伴随结构,但我对这些的应用不行,学了不少! 但是我觉得你的文章也没有深度,例子感觉没有说服力. 我想我把自己的提纲列出来,我们交流一下!
1 agree partly
2 why do people need to spend time alone!
3 the advantages of spending time alone
4 the disadvantages of unduly spending time alone, the benefits of communication, seeking a balance between spending time alone and communicating with others.
5 conclusion, it is necessary for people to spend some time alone

猫咪meUID: 155478

谢谢大家，提了很多很好的意见。
这是以前写的，当时没有限时。现在我的文章都限时了。
因为不限是不行了。嘿嘿。
我先消化一下你们的意见。Thanks!:)

fishergirlUID: 152325

Issue71 Spending time alone makes one a better companion to others.

Does spending time alone make one better companion to others? The speaker claims so and I partly agree with the assertion. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others, but it can’t go to extremes.

Each person has privacy. However intimate two or a group of people may be, they are still independent ones. They have different and independent characters in law. Consider, a couple, for example. A couple have the closest relationship in the world to the extent that they even can share the same properties, they still are two individuals. Husband can keep some privacy from his wife while wife can also withhold some secrets from her husband, if they are not willing to tell. Even under the current law system, it is legal to keep secrets, especially such withheld information involves professional secrets. On the other hand, without keeping certain distance, harm might be done to relationship. It is understandable that no one wants to show others his or her disadvantages and no man is perfect. Suppose a person A knows everything about another one B, including some deficiency. A can hardly respect B so much as before. At the same time B is upset all day long, worried about that he will lose a dear friend or A will probably disclose B’s shortcomings to others. In this case, A and B can never be so good friends as before. Obviously, to some degree, proper distance can put each at ease and therefore keep longer friendship. Individuals usually have one’s secrets and space to take a breath.

Individual alone can work more efficiently in some areas. Some kind of work can be done even more effectively and efficiently when one works alone, a case in point is reading. Reading is a process of getting information, reasoning, and thinking. The quieter, the more effective.这句话的主谓不完整 We can see it in our everyday life. When we get together, we have a discussion, and when we are alone, we read. Reading mainly involves the work of one’s own, even though it may need discussion in the later stage. In reading and areas alike, personal effort is more evaluated and estimated than companion. One can finish task more effectively on one’s own so that one can have more time to communicate with other people. In addition, people also need time to think, and only staying alone can lead to better thinking. Often through thinking, can people realize more about themselves and others, which results in a better understanding and appreciation of people. Spending time alone can make one a better companion to others to the extent that one finish task with shorter time.

However, the assertion can’t go to extremes. Spending time alone may be account for lacking ability to communicate effectively with other people. In the old days, hermits, getting used to live alone, were afraid of talking to strangers .Too long period of staying alone and not talking to people have made him or her have the inclination to escape from human and gradually the hermit becomes self-closed, in the end, inability of companion.

Thus, to keep better relationship, certain proper distance is required to satisfy the needs of privacies and secrets, for everyone is independent. Working in some areas alone is more efficient and more effective so that plenty of time is saved to communicate with others. On the other hand, spending time alone can’t be overestimated, for too much time spending time alone will lead to inability of companion.


My syllabus:
1.I partly agree with the assertion. Everyone should learn to be independent, but emphasis it too much will make people self-closed.

2.Having own space can help people to think and work more effectively, can help people to culture his or her independence and creativeness. Spending time alone can give people more time to introspection, which can also help people to be more friendly and tolerant to others. All these can make a person to be more popular and worthy of respect.

3.There is only a line between self-closed and spending time alone. A person who protects his or her own space extremely will lose the ability to accompany with others.

4.To sum, appropriate distance can bring pleasure to the companions, but it is harmful to be lonely excessively.

说实话，我现在开始痛恨现成的提纲了，自从有了它，我感觉自己的思路就有些被禁锢了，总也跳不出这个圈子！

猫咪meUID: 155478

libby,第五点，我建议就不要了，你的美语表达，很有用哦：）
这个题目我不想写balance想写一边倒的，但是发现写起来不流畅，原因是没有论据，例子，光是想说理，想死我了。大伙有没有些例子呀？
fishergirl,你的提纲挺好的。
我想写，spending time alone 有助于independence ,并使人并强，才能在别人有困难时提供更多帮助，但是只有思路，却写不出来，大家帮帮忙啊