issue53 有两天没来了，想念大家！

simonhuiUID: 128708

53"College and university education should be free for all students, fully financed by the government."

2月23日 from  15:02   to 16:16     1h14m


The speaker states that the government should spend money for all students on the tuition of  college and university education. I disagree with this statement. In my opinion, we should keep a balance between the support of the government and money from students.

If the education is fully financed by the government, students would be likely not to treasure the  opportunity to study and waste their times. Here is a good example of this. The universities and colleges in Germany are free for all students and lots of students were found that they cannot meet the basic needs to graduate. It has been thought that the quality of the education should be blamed. However , recent years people realized that the reason why students choose to spend their times in playing instead of working hard was the free educational system. Because students do not pay for the tuition, most of them lack the responsibilities to pore on the courses. Therefor, the education should not be wholly supported by the government.

Another disadvantage of college and university education being totally financed by the government  is that the education would become easy to rely on the government and lose the freedom to develop independently .This is especially true when it comes to the educational system of China. After the foundation, the government of China spent large amounts of money to support the high level education and students did not need prepare the tuition. Then, the government required all the students to follow its distribution after their graduation. This policy greatly undermined the enthusiasm of students because they cannot determine their future and may be sent to places in which they were not willing to be. This circumstance indirectly resulted in the reform of the educational system which regulates that students also pay for a part of their tuition. In short, the money that college and university receive uniquely from the government would leave the college and university dependent on the government.

Nevertheless, what stated above does not mean that the students (families in fact) should pay for the tuition solely. As is known to all, in most countries not every family is wealthy enough to afford the money needed to go on the student's education. It is just like impossible missions for the poor families to pay all the tuition. Were families obliged to take this burden solely, lots of students would lose the chance to receive further education. Furthermore, even if the money was affordable, the college and university would probably possess over-freedom to develop due to the lack of support and examination of the government.

To sum up, college and university education should be financed by both the government and families. The balance between them will be likely to supply the education with the freedom to develop independently and examination from the government.

paisleyUID: 64183

看见你帮别人修改过文章，所以今天也来改你的文章：） 不过我马上要去上课了，不能仔细改。

德国的例子不严谨。其实在德国的学生是非常辛苦的，学业压力很重。德国是现代大学的起源地，美国和英国的大学都是从那里的摸板搬来的，他们的影响非常之大。举这个例子一般很容易被驳倒。另外这一段说理只有一句话，例子倒有不少篇幅，不合理。要注重说理。

第二个论点还不错，如果能更深入就好了。

整篇文章还显得表面了一些，没有论证透彻。其实这方面可供借鉴的文章非常多，你去留意一下一些时政性BBS上关于高等教育产业化的许多文章，正方反方的理由都很多，绝对可以拿来写到ISSUE里。而且我想这个问题也是每个中国大学生应该关心的，不单单为了写作文。

建议你看看精华区的范文，分析他们是怎么说理的。还有这篇文章里讲的思路，非常值得学习。https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... =%BD%CC%C2%DF%BC%AD


你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthr ... hlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5

继续帮助大家改作文哦：）

libbyUID: 151455

我来给你看看吧！不过要花点时间！

libbyUID: 151455

53"College and university education should be free for all students, fully financed by the government."

2月23日 from 15:02 to 16:16 1h14m


The speaker states that the government should spend money for all students on the tuition of college and university education. I disagree with this statement. In my opinion, we should keep a balance between the support of the government and money from students.

If the education is (was表示虚拟语气怎样啊？) fully financed by the government, students would be likely not to treasure the opportunity to（of） study and waste their times（time应该不可数n吧， times表示多少次啊！）. Here is a good example of this（of this可以不要）. The universities and colleges in Germany are free for all students and lots of students were found that they cannot meet the basic needs（requirement） to graduate.（既然and引导的是并列句那为什么are和were的时态不一侄啊） It has been thought that the quality of the education should be blamed.（好象不怎么通顺啊！） However , recent years people （have）realized that the reason why students choose to spend their times in playing instead of working hard was（is） the free educational system. Because students do not pay for the tuition, most of them lack the responsibilities to pore on the courses. Therefor,（Therefore） the education should not be wholly supported by the government.

Another disadvantage of college and university education being totally financed by the government is that the education would become easy to rely on the government and lose the freedom to develop independently .This is especially true when it comes to the educational system of China. After the foundation, the government of China spent large amounts of money to support the high level education and students did not need prepare the tuition. Then, the government required all the students to follow its distribution after their graduation. This policy greatly undermined the enthusiasm of students because they cannot determine their future and may be sent to places in which they were not willing to be. This circumstance indirectly resulted in the reform of the educational system which regulates that students also pay for a part of their tuition. In short, the money that college and university （为什么这里的college和university不用pl？） receive uniquely from the government would leave the college and university dependent on the government.

Nevertheless, what （has been）stated above does not mean that the students (families in fact) should pay for the tuition solely. As is known to all, in most countries not every family is wealthy enough to afford the money needed to go on the student's education. It is just like impossible missions for the poor families to pay all the tuition. Were families obliged to take this burden solely, lots of students would lose the chance to receive further education. Furthermore, even if the money was affordable, the college and university would probably possess over-freedom to develop due to the lack of support and examination of the government.

To sum up, college and university education should be financed by both the government and families. The balance between them will be likely to supply the education with the freedom to develop independently and examination from the government.
我觉得你的结构还是很清楚的，但是我觉得还是论述的不够深入！
我也不敢给你多改了，因为我的水平也很差的，继续努

simonhuiUID: 128708

谢谢paisley 和 libby 两位mm  ！
我也感觉我的论证方面欠缺很大，很多时候只是把例子一摆，然后就不知道怎么说了~
看了那篇INSPIRING INTERVIEW 我感觉很有启发，恩，那方面我以前一直没有注意过。不错不错！
我会继续给大家的作文提出自己的意见和建议的，从这个过程中我也受益匪浅！

kaventUID: 154493

我觉得，在第四段里发现问题后，是不是可以提出一些可行解决办法，比如企业赞助办学，社会奖学金等，这样能分担政府和个人的压力。