Issue235 再次谢谢大家过来看看

smallponyUID: 142978

Issue235
"Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty-whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution-is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."
大多数人都被教育成认为忠诚是一种美德。但是忠诚，不管是对一个人的朋友、一所学校、受雇的公司或者其他任何机构，经常是一件坏事而不是一件好事

My article:

I disagree with the author for he has confused the faithfulness with the misguided or overextended loyalty. In fact, loyalty does be a cherished virtue that should be given enough emphasis.

Loyalty, a kind of lasting persistence and its precondition is that the subject of fidelity is worthy of such strong emotion. In each society, loyalty is a indispensable and vital part of the system of morality. No matter in schools, at home or at work, first midst and last, people accept a similar education that as an individual, he or she should first have a sense of ligeance, that is work for the whole. Of course, the subjects of loyalty are various including scientific theory, friends, family, schools, places of employment and the nation. A vivid example can lend support to the statement is the heroical astronomer - Bronow, who advanced Copernicus' theory that the earth and other planets revolve around the sun, enraged the Roma church that held the Ptolemaic system of astronomy and was burnt to death just because he refused to give up his scientific theory. It is the lasting loyalty toward truth that lead Bronow to sacrifice himself. And people all respect such duteous spirit. However, without loyalty, the morality of a society will deteriorate into apathy desert and everyone just lives for him /herself, that is to say, no one is willing to pay loyalty to the whole, then finally the human civilization will fall apart.

However, on the other hand, the fidelity should not be confused with misguided or overextended loyalty and the latter is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force. People all hold that mutual loyalty between friends is the basis of lasting friendship. But people should also realize that true loyalty and authentic responsibility for a friend are not only always believing him or her unconditionally but also persuading, helping and even impeaching him or her when him or her has committed serious mistakes or even crimes. Of course, when facing up to such painful dilemma, each one will hesitate because he or she is afraid of being censured to betray his or her friend and some one may choose to keep slient in order to insist of the so-called loyalty. In fact, such behavior may prevent his or her friend from taking right actions. The same to a school, a family, a company even the nation, when the subject that people once string along with no longer deserves loyalty, people should resolutely choose to be loyal to the truth, the justice and the humanity. That calls for people are always alert to what they think right and what they think wrong, via doing so, people can change their mind for right choice on time.

To sum up, people should insist on true loyalty, and always avoid being the victim of the misguided or overextended loyalty. In the world, there is nothing that can be always absolutely right or wrong and changing happens all the time. So people should always hold deep insight to discern what deserves their loyalty and what does not.   (516 words)

smallponyUID: 142978

ding

paisleyUID: 64183

In fact, loyalty does （这里少了to）be a cherished virtue that should be given enough emphasis.

A vivid example （少that）can lend support to the statement is the heroical astronomer

不路诺的例子，感觉比较危险，容易雷同，还是换一个吧，很多的么，比如孙中山，外国人都知道他，但是用的人就少，同样是对自己的理想忠诚的好例子

people should insist on true loyalty ： insist on和insist的意思是不一样的，前者是“坚决要求”

文章写的不错，立论、展开论述，以及语言都好。只是我认为你的关键词选的不妥，misguided or overextended loyalty依然是loyalty，对不？我推荐两个词给你，fanaticism和monomania

你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthr ... hlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5

希望继续帮大家改作文啊