issue11, 限时小改

coolwitsUID: 149150

11. "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

A global university, whose students and teachers come from all over the world, can play an important role in solving the most persistent social problems that encumber all most all countries in the world. As a result, I fundamentally agree to the arguer's assertion that all nations should help support the development of it, part for themselves, and more for the whole human society.

To begin with, the global university can foster in students from different countries better mutual understanding that can help to solve social problems related with cultural clash. In fact, cultural clashes have resulted in serious social problems because people tend to behave themselves irrationally while facing others' actions that violate their main cultural principles. For supporting examples one needs look no further than the mutual hostility and resentment between Islam world and American. Because the cultures of Islam world and American differ from each other so much, any slight catalysis might lead to destructive effects. The 911 tragedy, which brings to thousands of families sorrow, is an extreme instance. What if there exists a global university where people can enhance their mutual understanding. There, Islam students can just be friends of American ones; and they can learn from one another special virtues that stem from special culture. Furthermore, after they come back their motherland, they can play active role in helping others eliminate cultural clash. In that case, people shaped by different cultures can evaluate others’ actions with unbiased and tolerant eyes and refrain from irrational pulses that have caused so many persistent social problems.

What’s more, Other social problems can also be eliminated more quickly and exhaustively with the assistance of a global university. Taking environmental problems and energy crisis for instances, as these problems tend to be shared by almost all countries; every country will necessarily want to solve them. However, as these problems are so persistent and stubborn, few countries can crush them all by themselves. Then the advantage of a global university appears: professors can bring to the university their research results and share them with other professors. They can have better communication and cooperation in the university, which can help to better resolve these problems at a less cost. Obviously, resolvents of these social problems can enhance faster in such situation.   

As a result, all nations should support the development of the global university. Such support must go beyond simple financial assistance. On the one hand, actually the university needs money to operate: equipments, effective faculties, and research labs, etc, are totally unavailable without money. On the other hand, something more important is required. All nations must send their students and teachers to the university to communicate with those from other countries. What's more important, the nations should seriously consider these students and teachers’ proposals that come from wide perspectives gained from the global university, because these proposals can be more applicable and feasible than those that come out from narrow perspectives.

In sum, a global university can benefit our society by providing better resolvents towards the most persistent social problems. It is all nations’ responsibility to support it development and stipulate that it run smoothly and effectively. Under the help of a global university, maybe one day we can no longer suffer from any social problems and really establish a peaceful, stable, and always developing society that exists in everyone’s dream.

雪夭UID: 142334

A global university, whose students and teachers come from all over the world, can play an important role in solving the most persistent social problems that encumber all most all 不爽啊countries in the world. As a result, I fundamentally agree to？ the arguer's assertion that all nations should help support the development of it, part for themselves, and more for the whole human society.

To begin with, the global university can foster in in吗这个词我没用过，可是有点怪，你确证了没？students from different countries better mutual understanding that can help to solve social problems related with cultural clash. In fact, cultural clashes have resulted in serious social problems because people tend to behave themselves irrationally while facing others' actions that violate their main cultural principles. For supporting examples one needs look no further than 好熟啊，呵呵the mutual hostility and resentment between Islam world and American. Because the cultures of Islam world and American differ from each other so much, any slight catalysis might lead to destructive effects. The 911 tragedy最好不要再触动人家的伤心事情了，我觉得这个和Clinton 都不应该用作例子，个人看法 , which brings to thousands of families sorrow, is an extreme instance. What if there exists a global university where people can enhance their mutual understanding. There, Islam students can just be friends of American ones; and they can learn from one another special virtues that stem from special culture. Furthermore, after they come back their motherland, they can play active role in helping others eliminate cultural clash. In that case, people shaped by different cultures can evaluate others’ actions with unbiased and tolerant eyes and refrain from irrational pulses that have caused so many persistent social problems.总觉得这是两个国家的问题，有没有更好的涉及项一战一样波及多个的呢？说服力会好点，你要解决的是全球问题

What’s more, Other social problems can also be eliminated more quickly and exhaustively with the assistance of a global university. Taking environmental problems and energy crisis for instances, as these problems tend to be shared by almost all countries; every country will necessarily want口语 to solve them. However, as these problems are so persistent and stubborn, few countries can crush them all by themselves. Then the advantage of a global university appears: professors can bring to the university their research results and share them with other professors. They can have better communication and cooperation in the university, which can help to better resolve these problems at a less cost. Obviously, resolvents？ of these social problems can enhance faster in such situation. 该给句简单的例子好点

As a result, all nations should support the development of the global university. Such support must go beyond simple financial assistance. On the one hand, actually the university needs money to operate: equipments, effective faculties, and research labs, etc, are totally unavailable without money. On the other hand, something more important is required. All nations must send their students and teachers to the university to communicate with those from other countries. What's more important, the nations should seriously consider these students and teachers’ proposals that come from wide perspectives gained from the global university, because these proposals can be more applicable and feasible than those that come out from narrow perspectives.有点仓促的感觉，再展

In sum, a global university can benefit our society by providing better resolvents？ towards the most persistent social problems. It is all nations’ responsibility to support it itsdevelopment and stipulate that用因果会不会好点或目的 it run smoothly and effectively. Under the help of a global university, maybe one day we can no longer suffer from any social problems and really establish a peaceful, stable, and always developing society that exists in everyone’s dream.最后句假设性的好象是新问题，你在琢磨下
昨天，我也写了这个，写的我想哭啊，最近状态宝差，可能也是这个文章的问题，我觉得都不怎么深入，例子也是，毕竟学校不存在我们要去想一些有可能这样解决的东西，空~~~~~流鼻涕的，一起加油吧

coolwitsUID: 149150

晕，你这个人怎么老叫我流鼻涕的阿
我可是很酷的

poohUID: 146994

11. "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."  

A global university, whose students and teachers come from all over the world, can play an important role in solving the most persistent social problems that encumber all most all countries in the world. As a result, I fundamentally agree to the arguer's assertion that all nations should help support the development of it, part for themselves, and more for the whole human society.
   开头第一句是你要论证的，怎么拿来直接作原因了，begging the question.
To begin with, the global university can foster in students from different countries better mutual understanding that can help to solve social problems related with cultural clash. In fact, cultural clashes have resulted in serious social problems because people tend to behave themselves irrationally while facing others' actions that violate their main cultural principles. For supporting examples one needs look no further than the mutual hostility and resentment between Islam world and American. Because the cultures of Islam world and American differ from each other so much, any slight catalysis might lead to destructive effects. The 911 tragedy, which brings to thousands of families sorrow, is an extreme instance. What if there exists a global university where people can enhance their mutual understanding. There, Islam students can just be friends of American ones; and they can learn from one another special virtues that stem from special culture. Furthermore, after they come back their motherland, they can play active role in helping others eliminate cultural clash. In that case, people shaped by different cultures can evaluate others’ actions with unbiased and tolerant eyes and refrain from irrational pulses that have caused so many persistent social problems.
  老美跟teorrist好像不是文化冲突  

What’s more, Other social problems can also be eliminated more quickly and exhaustively with the assistance of a global university. Taking environmental problems and energy crisis for instances, as these problems tend to be shared by almost all countries; every country will necessarily want to solve them. However, as these problems are so persistent and stubborn, few countries can crush them all by themselves. Then the advantage of a global university appears: professors can bring to the university their research results and share them with other professors. They can have better communication and cooperation in the university, which can help to better resolve these problems at a less cost.  为什么说at a less cost   Obviously, resolvents of these social problems can enhance   不太合适的动词  faster in such situation.

As a result, all nations should support the development of the global university. Such support must go beyond simple financial assistance. On the one hand, actually the university needs money to operate: equipments, effective faculties, and research labs, etc, are totally unavailable without money. On the other hand, something more important is required. All nations must send their students and teachers to the university to communicate with those from other countries. What's more important, the nations should seriously consider these students and teachers’ proposals that come from wide perspectives gained from the global university, because these proposals can be more applicable and feasible than those that come out from narrow perspectives.   这段到了最后感觉写到how了，其实这段不用写很多，点点就可以了，in my view

In sum, a global university can benefit our society by providing better resolvents towards the most persistent social problems. It is all nations’ responsibility to support it development and stipulate that it run smoothly and effectively. Under the help of a global university, maybe one day we can no longer suffer from any social problems and really establish a peaceful, stable, and always developing society that exists in everyone’s dream.   最后有点唱高调，不如老老实实的总结一下观点，你写得有些夸张 。 After all, well done! 思路比较清晰，比你老姐强， :)  

DriverEntryUID: 143979

coolwits好幸福啊，3位 JJ OR MM帮你看。看来流鼻涕是有好处。：）

coolwitsUID: 149150

这叫做rp好，人见人爱的说

雪夭UID: 142334

应该是人家看到你的头像心软：jj，mm看过来，再不过来我~~~我~~~~~我继续流~~~~