issue48 超时了，hate history~~~~~~~

雪夭UID: 142334

48The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
我的弱项，讨厌死历史了

When people retrospect history, they might only remember some famous individuals' contribution to the society rather ordinary persons. It is true that leaders lead groups to achieve success for their special ability, however, it is unfair to neglect the importance role of common ones.

Granted, a few famous people bring fresh air into dull society and help the public break walls, which obstruct the progress of nations. What kind of person can be defined as a leader? The answer might be those people who have responsibility, passion, creative ideas, courage and ability of leading. In the absence of famous individuals, any group would like the sand rather than consolidation-which is the foundation of success. In addition, their distinctive character is that such a few people can analyze problems profoundly and their ideas come in front of ordinary people, which might be the reason of being a leader. For instance, Roosevelt, president of America who pointed out " New Deal” and helped the nation to come through the Depression in 1930s. Without his leadership, America would never be such a strong country in the world. Obviously, Roosevelt's contribution establishes the base of social development, so does other famous people in other countries. In any nation, the crucial line of history is constituted with the famous few who push communities into a new environment.

However, at the same time, people should realize that human beings are the main body of the nation rather than only famous ones; otherwise, even if the leader is so great and intelligent, the society might also be trapped in a rigid net, not to mention improvement. When it comes to the history of America, War of Independence would be one of significant events, which can demonstrate the view. Although Lincoln played a essential role in the war, it must acknowledge that without common people: soldiers, doctors, workers and so forth, how can the nation gain independence with only a leader. In the process of improvement, ordinary people support those a few people, provide social interest and help to modify mistaken which eliminate the impediment in the way of pursuing success. If a society desires to resist cruel laws, common people are the most cogent reason; If a society desires to overthrow a conservative government, common people are the most effective power; if a society desires to gain the high status in the world, common people are the strongest foundation. Therefore, overlooking the value of public might cause the society fail to understand the meaning of history.

Unfortunately, mass media, books and record merely pay attention to the famous individuals so that group of people has long been forgotten. When people watching TV, it is common to see the documents and movies, which depict the life of leaders and even report their private time in order to gain more profit. In addition, schools treat history as a subject, which only talk about the famous persons rather than some groups. As a result, famous ones and some trivial things attract people’s eyes; then groups of people are forgot eventually. However, considering the importance of common people, society has the responsibility to adjust such attitude and help people pay more attention to ordinary ones, or some valuable events and history might be overlooked and disappear.

Understandably, famous people and groups support each other in the process of history; without either of them improvement might only be a dream. However, the study of history fail to recognize the function of common people which might do harm to the society for oblivious value.

雪夭UID: 142334

顶一下
谢谢

DriverEntryUID: 143979

总的感觉还可以，文字有些小错误。另外倒数第2段论证不够有力。是否可以从其他方面：比如艺术？科技等。
PS：你的想法不对，应该这样想：历史，我一定要战胜你！

雪夭UID: 142334

我现在最恶心的就是历史啊，行为啊，什么乱七八糟的东西
可简单的呢有时候居然更写不出来，ft， 我不砍砍砍
光战胜还不够

谢谢你的建议， 那如果从艺术和科技的角度来讲，例子呢？是不是那种好象飞机的出现不仅仅需要个人的想法，还要大量的劳力去制造啊？我不是很明白啊

uocasiiUID: 143445

48The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
我的弱项，讨厌死历史了

When people retrospect history, they might only remember some famous individuals' contribution to the society rather ordinary persons. It is true that leaders lead group(mass)s to achieve success for(by) their special ability, however, it is unfair to neglect the importance role of common ones(这个表达怎么有点费解).

Granted, a few famous people bring fresh air into dull society and help the public break walls, which obstruct the progress of nations. What kind of person can be defined as a leader? The answer might be those people who have responsibility, passion, creative ideas, courage and ability of leading(leadership). In the absence of famous individuals, any group(s) would(be) like the sand rather than consolidation-which is the foundation of success. (这句话在这段当中没有什么作用啊！和你的分论点没有关系！)In addition, their distinctive character is that such a few people can analyze problems profoundly and their ideas come in front of(什么意思？超前吗？beyond) ordinary people, which might be the reason of(for) being a leader. For instance, Roosevelt, president of America who pointed out " New Deal” and helped the nation to come through(?) the Depression in 1930s. Without his leadership(leading), America would never be such a strong country in the world. Obviously, Roosevelt's contribution establishes the base of social development, so does other famous people in other countries. In any nation, the crucial line of history is constituted with the famous few who push communities into a new environment.

However, at the same time, people should realize that human beings are the main body of the nation rather than only famous ones; otherwise, even if the leader is so great and intelligent, the society might also(still) be trapped in a rigid net, not to(不用to) mention improvement. When it comes to the history of America, War of Independence would be one of significant(right) events, which can demonstrate the view. Although Lincoln played a essential role in the war, it must(be) acknowledge(ackonwledged) that without common people: soldiers, doctors, workers and so forth, how can the nation gain independence with only a leader(后面的这个with有点多余了吧！). In the process of improvement, ordinary people support those a few(few) people, provide social interest and help to modify mistaken(mistakes, ) which eliminate the impediment in the way of pursuing success. If a society desires to resist cruel laws, common people are the most cogent reason; If a society desires to overthrow a conservative government, common people are the most effective power; if a society desires to gain the high status in the world, common people are the strongest foundation. Therefore, overlooking the value of public might cause the society fail to understand the meaning of history.

Unfortunately, mass media, books and record merely pay attention to the famous individuals so that group of people has long been forgotten. When people watching TV, it is common to see the documents and movies, which depict the life of leaders and even report their private time in order to gain more profit. In addition, schools treat history as a subject, which only talk about the famous persons rather than some groups. As a result, famous ones and some trivial things attract people’s eyes; then groups of people are forgot(forgotten) eventually. However, considering the importance of common people, society has the responsibility to adjust such attitude and help people pay more attention to ordinary ones, or some valuable(pregnant) events and history might be overlooked and disappear.

Understandably, famous people and groups support each other in the process of history; without either of them improvement might only be a dream. However, the study of history(直接说we) fail to recognize the function of common people which might do harm to the society for oblivious value.
(第三个body作为对主体的延伸，好像只说叙述没有论证，如果总结一下结合两者后研究history的好处可能更好！举的例子挺好的！)

雪夭UID: 142334

In the absence of famous individuals, any group(s) would(be) like the sand rather than consolidation-which is the foundation of success. (这句话在这段当中没有什么作用啊！和你的分论点没有关系！
我位置放的不对，用还是有用的，没有领导是不可能有坚强的基础的啊

谢谢，我写的时候是打算限时间的后来写到body三发现来不及了，就匆匆搞定，估计真要到考试的话可能就放弃这段，把前面两段补补好了。不过你的建议很好，第三段写的话结合一下会比较深刻

DriverEntryUID: 143979

我觉得是否可以这样理解。还有很多无名英雄在普通民众中。比如你知道谁发明了轮子吗？
另一个角度就是集体智慧角度：比如莫高窟就是集体的创作吧。

雪夭UID: 142334

比如你知道谁发明了轮子吗？
谁啊？
莫高窟；知道英文怎么写吗？
我就是缺集体的实例
而且我一开始就把历史定义在革命范畴内，中国教育的弊病啊

hxfUID: 155815

你的字数快到600了，太多了吧，考试可能完成不了。

雪夭UID: 142334

所以考试的时候适当去掉一点
今天就超了5分钟写结尾