Issue136 点评by DriverEntry 后附修改版本

seriousUID: 156306

前段时间句式一直很单调，这篇文章特别注意地改了一下，终于自己看得过去了。还有什么不足请大家多多指教 bow
136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

"What shall I eat for lunch?" “Which school shall I go to for a further study?” “What kind of job fits me best?” Such questions, which we may probably encounter in everyday, seem simple but imply choices that surrounded us. However, choices vary from the most trivial ones relating to our everyday life, as mentioned before, to the more complicated ones relating to social, political, ethical or philosophical problems such as “to be or not”. To this extent, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that absence of choices is a rare circumstance in today's splendid world. Yet there still exist some circumstances under which we have and should have no choice at all.

First of all, the development of society furnishes us with more various choices. Consider several years before, when the price of airplane was dearly high, people seldom thought of making different choices when they were on travel, because almost the only way was to take a train. On the contrary, due to today's fairly cheap price of airplane, we are facing the choice of traveling by train or by airplane. Moreover, with the great technological innovations, not only do we have airplanes and trains but also magnetic levitation railway and light rail for us to choose as transportation vehicles. How can we imagine such broad range of choices without the rapid advance of our society? Not only in the transportation area but also in the communication field, the advent of modern innovations brings us abundant choices. For example, telephones, cell phones, and e-mails are all rising electronic communication methods that appear as the complements to the conventional ways like letters.

Additionally, it is human being's instinct nature to compare with different ways before decide. As one of the classical economic principal goes, rational people weight the benefits against the losses. If we do not think over thoroughly, count the cost of different choices before we make any decision, then probably we are going nowhere but the unexpected ends. Indeed, it is the very measure against distinct choices that guides us to the correct direction. A good case in point is the old Chinese saying: "compare three shops before you buy a commodity". This can be explained aptly according to our everyday experience: only when we face choices can we know exactly what the best hides.

However, there do some circumstances under which we have no choice but to act exactly the only way. This happens when the problem comes to some important issues such as the loyalty to the country and the obedience to the law. Under such conditions, we cannot place ourselves in front of any other alternatives but only stick to our moral principles. Just retrospect to history, easily can we find innumerable models whose pursuits to their beliefs were astoundingly consistent. They were never surrendered and never tempted by any other choices, no matter how attractive the choices looked.

In the final analysis, we can reach the conclusion that we are in a dazzling world full of various choices. Despite the convenience and excitement it brings us, it is also a challenging test for our human beings, the test for our determination, morality and intellect. It deserves everybody’s concern about how shall we act properly before appealing temptations, how can we pick up the right and the best one, and how can we know what we need indeed.

imongUID: 140258

第一BODY还可以，如果能总结一下tech advancement和choice增长的关系就更好了。

第二段就悬一点：TS和主旨有关吗？it is human being's instinct nature to compare with different ways before decide.怎么样支持或者发展了The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.。因为人们喜欢比较，所以choice N多？这个恐怕不太好

第三段更糟。姑且不说别的：which we have no choice 在前， no matter how attractive the choices looked在后，自己打倒自己，这个叫做self-contradictory.

第一段给题干找到了在技术发展方面的因素是一个不错的思路，其实可以考虑考虑还有哪些方面可以进行联系和分析。后两段恕我实在不能认同。

All of your essays posted have been checked by others. I think you should start checkin' others' essays now.

DriverEntryUID: 143979

前段时间句式一直很单调，这篇文章特别注意地改了一下，终于自己看得过去了。还有什么不足请大家多多指教 bow
136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

"What shall I eat for lunch?" “Which school shall I go to for a further study?” “What kind of job fits me best?” Such questions, which we may probably encounter in everyday, seem simple but imply choices that surrounded us. However, choices vary from the most trivial ones relating to our everyday life, as mentioned before, to the more complicated ones relating to social, political, ethical or philosophical problems such as “to be or not”. To this extent, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that absence of choices is a rare circumstance in today's splendid world. Yet这里好象要加个逗号 there still exist some circumstances under which we have and should have no choice at all.

First of all, the development of society furnishes us with more various choices. Consider several years before,好象该用冒号 when the price of airplane was dearly high, people seldom thought of making different choices when they were on travel, because almost the only way was to take a train. On the contrary, due to today's fairly cheap price of airplane, we are facing the choice of traveling by train or by airplane. Moreover, with the great technological innovations, not only do we have airplanes and trains but also magnetic levitation railway and light rail for us to choose as transportation vehicles. How can we imagine such broad range of choices without the rapid advance of our society? Not only in the transportation area but also in the communication field, the advent of modern innovations brings us abundant choices. For example, telephones, cell phones, and e-mails are all rising electronic communication methods that appear as the complements to the conventional ways like letters.这里感觉少了点总结，同意斑竹的意见！
第一：随着科技的增长，选择变多了

Additionally, it is human being's instinct nature to compare with different ways before decide加ing. As one of the classical economic principal goes, rational people weight the benefits against the losses. If we do not think over thoroughly, count the cost of different choices before we make any decision, then probably we are going nowhere but the unexpected ends. Indeed, it is the very measure against distinct choices that guides us to the correct direction. A good case in point is the old Chinese saying: "compare three shops before you buy a commodity". This can be explained aptly according to our everyday experience: only when we face choices can we know exactly what the best hides.
这段写人们喜欢选择。是有点偏了。

However, there do some circumstances under which we have no choice but to act exactly the only way. This happens when the problem comes to some important issues such as the loyalty to the country and the obedience to the law. Under such conditions, we cannot place ourselves in front of any other alternatives but only stick to our moral principles. Just retrospect to history, easily can we find innumerable models whose pursuits to their beliefs were astoundingly consistent. They were never surrendered and never tempted by any other choices, no matter how attractive the choices looked.


In the final analysis, we can reach the conclusion that we are in a dazzling world full of various choices. Despite the convenience and excitement it brings us, it is also a challenging test for our human beings, the test for our determination, morality and intellect. It deserves everybody’s concern about how shall we act properly before appealing temptations, how can we pick up the right and the best one, and how can we know what we need indeed.


语言是进步了很多，但是提纲有问题，题目是：现在人们没的选择的情况越来越少。这是一种现象，如果你同意的话，可以这样写：
1）        由于科技的发展，人们对生活方式的选择越来越多
2）        由于社会的发展的多元化，人们对自己思想的选择也越来越多
3）        人们应该好好利用这些选择，从而使自己更全面发展

另外：以前给你的评语可能有误导的嫌疑，现在重申一下：文章的内容是根本，语言是修饰。内容可以保证你拿个基本分，语言可以帮助你拿高分，但它必须以内容为基础。换句话说，一方面：内容偏了的话，语言再好也没用。另一方面：内容有了的话，语言太差也别想拿高分。总之二者都很重要。


这几句话可能有点绕，都是AW惹的祸。呵呵

银杏UID: 134344

Additionally, it is human being's instinct（如果是instinct，为什么后面又是理性的人，自相矛盾） nature to compare with different ways before decide. As one of the classical economic principal goes, rational people weight the benefits against the losses.
我觉得你的开头写得很好啊，很有Time, Newsweek的风范。从一个个案或小事谈起，然后引出主题，这个方法如果写好了就很好了。但我总觉得写好很难，因为我以前试过，但很多时间都用来想开头的例子了。建议高手可以用一下。看看国外杂志的文章，基本上都是这样开头的。

这篇文章，我自己读起来觉得并不困难，说明你写得不拗口，我在这方面就比较差，写出来别人都看不懂。：p
总体感觉是，你自己没有把整篇文章的思路想清楚。立意是什么，怎样展开论证，用什么例子。不然，你的文章里不会出现自相矛盾的情况。

DriveEntry: 我怎么觉得你给的提纲，后两点也有些偏啊。还是我把它理解偏了。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

“2） 由于社会的发展的多元化，人们对自己思想的选择也越来越多”
这句是指思想上的选择越来越多。比如你可以信基督教，也可以信伊斯兰教. 没有什么限制.可以自由选择. 这里我觉得没偏啊.
3） 人们应该好好利用这些选择，从而使自己更全面发展”
这点是从论题引申出去.表明人们应该怎样选择. (这点可能稍微偏一点,不太好写)

楼上的,你觉得应该怎样写比较好？

seriousUID: 156306

谢谢各位的意见

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

"What shall I eat for lunch?" “Which school shall I go to for a further study?” “What kind of job fits me best?” Such questions, which we may probably encounter in everyday, seem simple but imply choices that surrounded us. However, choices vary from the most trivial ones relating to our everyday life, as mentioned before, to the more complicated ones relating to social, political, ethical or philosophical problems such as “to be or not”. To this extent, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that absence of choices is a rare circumstance in today's splendid world. Yet there still exist some circumstances under which we have and should have no choice at all.

First of all, the development of society furnishes us with more various choices. Consider several years before, when the price of airplane was dearly high, people seldom thought of making different choices when they were on travel, because almost the only way was to take a train. On the contrary, due to today's fairly cheap price of airplane, we are facing the choice of traveling by train or by airplane. Moreover, with the great technological innovations, not only do we have airplanes and trains but also magnetic levitation railway and light rail for us to choose as transportation vehicles. How can we imagine such broad range of choices without the rapid advance of our society? Not only in the transportation area but also in the communication field, the advent of modern innovations brings us abundant choices. For example, telephones, cell phones, and e-mails are all rising electronic communication methods that appear as the complements to the conventional ways like letters. In a word, the further the society advances, the more choices we face.

Besides the material enrichment risen by society’s evaluation, contemporary human’s minds have largely opened with the liberation of spirit and the wide and spread of different cultures. As a case in point, women today can choose to acquire further education or go out for work according with their own wills, while long ago, they were fettered by conventions that women should stay at home and focus on the dull housework. Moreover, information spreads at an unprecedented speed. Through the Internet, the satellite broadcast, huge amount of information can be transmitted only in a second, or even in far less time. Therefore, unenlightened mores are struck tempestuously by the powerful wave of humanity, freedom and democracy. People now dare to think the wildest thing they ever conceived and to do the boldest thing they ever imagined. That is, more and more barriers in the way to free choices are broken by ourselves. In front is a broader road.

However, there do exist some circumstances under which we have no choice but to act exactly the only way. This happens when the problem comes to some important issues such as the loyalty to the country and the obedience to the law. Under such conditions, we cannot place ourselves in front of any other alternatives but only stick to our moral principles. This can be explained aptly for the reason that we are not only living creatures but also mortals who belong to a certain community, of which well-balanced function relies on the self-contained regulations. No man could enjoy his right without respond to certain obligation. Consider the issue we are discussing, choose freely is our right while choose properly is our obligation.

In the final analysis, we can reach the conclusion that we are in a dazzling world full of various choices, in which we are thinking more freely. Despite the convenience and excitement it brings us, it is also a challenging test for our human beings, the test for our determination, morality and intellect. It deserves everybody’s concern about how shall we act properly before appealing temptations, how can we pick up the right and the best one, and how can we know what we need indeed.

DriverEntryUID: 143979

Besides the material enrichment risen by society’s evaluation, contemporary human’s minds have largely been? opened with the liberation of spirit and the wide and去掉and spread of different cultures. As a case in point, women today can choose to acquire further education or go out for work according withto their own wills, while long ago, they were fettered by conventions that women should stay at home and focus on the dull housework. Moreover, information spreads at an unprecedented speed. Through the Internet, the satellite broadcast, huge amount of information can be transmitted only in a second, oror less。后面去掉 even in far less time. Therefore, unenlightened mores are struck tempestuously by the powerful wave of humanity, freedom and democracy. People now dare to think the wildest thing they ever conceived and to do the boldest thing they ever imagined. That is, more and more barriers in the way to free choices are brokenby后面去掉 by ourselves. In front is a broader road.

However, there do exist some circumstances under which we have no choice but to act exactly the only way. This happens when the problem comes to some important issues such as the loyalty to the country and the obedience to thejust law对法律也要反抗的，题库里专门有道题讲这个. Under such conditions, we cannot place ourselves in front of any other alternatives but only stick to our moral principles. 这句绝对了一点，如果说我们有时不得不把自己放的靠后一点。个人和集体的矛盾题库里也有讨论This can be explained aptly for the reason that we are not only living creatures but also mortals who belongBELONG 有些简单的定丛还是用分词短语代替比较干净 to a certain community, of which well-balanced function relies on the self-contained regulations. No man could enjoy his right without respondobserve to certain obligation. 不是祈使句，加 TO Consider the issue we are discussing, choose freely is our right while TOchoose properly is our obligation.

In the final analysis, we can reach the conclusion that we are in a dazzling world full of various choices, in which we are thinking more freely. Despite the convenience and excitement it brings us, it is also a challenging test for our human beings, the test for our determination, morality and intellect. It deserves everybody’s concern about how shall we act properly before appealing temptations, how can we pick up the right and the best one, and how can we know what we need indeed.

不错，继续努力！