issue154 教育类，大家帮忙看看吧！最后冲刺！现在只求不要错太多语法了！谢谢！

libbyUID: 151455

154Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave sole to a group of professional educators.
9:13
In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because education can promote both individual self-improvement and the progress of the society. Nowadays, people are facing a difficult problem/tickler that how train our children. Whether it is the duty of schools, or it is the responsibility of society? Should parents join into the education of children? Actually, education need the corporation of all people; no matter who should make contribution to the education of children because education is so difficult task for society that only educators cannot accomplish it.

First of all, children always live with their parents since they were born; so parents are the most important teachers in children' lives in that their ideas, actions, talking, and morality can affect their children profoundly. In a family, children often imitate their parents' activities in that when they first see such actions, they feel amazed and cannot know whether they are right or wrong only know they are interesting; so if parents do bad things that go against morality, their children may follow them; consequently, children will form bad moral views. In fact, parents have a deep influence on children's mind/mentality.

School is the most important and main/major place where children are educated and receive diversified knowledge. It is well known that most people receive the better education in school because school provides people with lots of resources and good faculties. In school, children can learn from various books, absorb good character from others and learn how to be well-beings. Generally speaking, educators should be responsible for the education of children because their main task is to develop well-rounded intellectuals for society. Teachers not only should implant the knowledge of science and technology to children, but also must teach students how to be good persons who can make contributions to society, and what merits they should develop. All of these can need the efforts of professional educators.

Similarly, our society also takes the responsibility of educate children because children live in the society. There is no one who can get rid of the influence of society unless he or she isolated from the society radically. Children belong a part of the society, and they must be affected by the activities, values, ideas and moral views of the whole society. A healthy society can bring our children into healthy personalities both physical and mentality. Therefore, as well good education need the corporation of all kinds of social communities.

In a word, education is a very difficult but most important subject which need the aids of whole society. Parents, educators and social communities, all of them are indispensable for children's healthy growth.
9:49
写完没有仔细检查了，先贴上大家帮忙看看，还有4天了，急啊！谢谢！

gdhdannyUID: 125843

In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because education can promote both individual self-improvement and the progress of the society. Nowadays, people are facing a difficult problem/tickler that how（to） train our（看这个代词，前面说people这里又用our?） children. Whether it is the duty of schools, or it is the responsibility of society? Should parents join into（和后面的education搭配有点别扭） the education of children? Actually, education need the corporation of all people; no matter who should（no matter who should?） make contribution to the education of children because education is so difficult（so difficult a task或者 such a difficult task） task for society that only educators cannot accomplish it（这句意思有问题，that cannot be finished by educators alone）.
个人感觉最后这句里面的educator有点问题。试想，如果parents和communities也加入教育行列，他们是否也盖被列入educator的中呢?

First of all, children always live with their parents since they were born; so parents are the most important teachers in children' lives in that their ideas, actions, talking, and morality can affect their children profoundly. In a family, children often imitate their parents' activities in that when they first see such actions, they feel amazed and cannot know whether they are right or wrong only know they are interesting（这句意思有问题，再读读）; so if parents do bad things that go against morality（do go都可以用更准确的动词替换）, their children may follow them; consequently, children will form bad moral views. In fact, parents have a deep influence on children's mind/mentality.
这段除了TS好像只有一句话？！

School is the most important and main/major place where children are educated and receive diversified knowledge. It is well known that most people receive the（a） better education in school because school provides people with lots of resources and good faculties. In school, children can learn from various books, absorb good character（character？） from others and learn how to be well-beings. Generally speaking, educators should be responsible for the education of children because their main task is to develop well-rounded intellectuals for society. Teachers not only should implant the knowledge of science and technology to children, but also must teach students how to be good persons who can make contributions to society, and what merits they should develop（not only but also连接两个情态动词读起来实在不爽）. All of these can need（can need?） the efforts of professional educators.

Similarly, our society also takes the responsibility of educate（词态？） children because children live in the society. There is no one who can get rid of the influence of society unless he or she（is） isolated from the society radically. （这句写得好）Children belong a part of the society, and they must be affected by the activities, values, ideas and moral views of the whole society. A healthy society can bring our children into healthy personalities both physical and mentality（and连着的两个词词性不同啊）. Therefore, as well good education need the corporation of all kinds of social communities（没懂）.

In a word, education is a very difficult but（the）most important subject which need the aids of whole society. Parents, educators and social communities, all of them are indispensable for children's healthy growth.

思路很清楚，这是最大优点，最后一个body写得比较好，论述的有深度。
整体上还要注意用词，多在pp3里练练感觉。

p.s.这两天忙着做程序作业，搞的头大，今天起床头脑还不清醒，说的不对的地方还望指正。

kzmUID: 157203

In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because education(it) can promote both individual self-improvement(self_improvement of individual好一点) and the progress of the society. Nowadays, people are facing a difficult problem/tickler that how (to) train our children. Whether it is the duty of schools, or it is the responsibility of society? (这个地方whether好像不太合适)Should parents join into the education of children? Actually(in fact), education need the corporation of all people; no matter who (这个好象不太好,everyone?)should make contribution to the education of children because education is so difficult (a) task for society that only educators cannot accomplish it.
First of all, children always live with their parents since they were born; so parents are the most important teachers in children' lives in that(that删去) their ideas, actions, talking, and morality (that) can affect their children profoundly. In a family, children often imitate their parents' activities in that(in that 删去) when they first see such actions, they feel amazed and cannot know whether they are right or wrong only know they are interesting;(这句话总觉有点绕) so if parents do bad things that go against morality, their children may follow them; consequently, children will form bad moral views. In fact, parents have a deep influence on children's mind/mentality.
不好意思，还有事，不能全看完了
不过总体感觉不是太好，好象有点chingish 的感觉
个人意见^-^

coswangUID: 129517

感觉第一段比较模糊啊

libbyUID: 151455

To :gdhdanny.谢谢！
你提醒我了，我的表达不准确，我应该在educators 前面加个professional才行！恩！知道了！我就觉得我的一些连词用的不好！比如：Therefore, as well good education need the corporation of all kinds of social communities（没懂）.这里我就想说的是：因此好的教育需要各种社会结构的合作！但我又加了个as well，都让人感觉模糊！
All of these can need（can need?） 这里的need不可以当实义动词用啊？so difficult a task或者 such a difficult task 这个说的很好！我就是没有注意！啊！5555....
这样下去怎么办啊！好担心，好着急啊！
BOW！

libbyUID: 151455

so if parents do bad things that go against morality（do go都可以用更准确的动词替换）用什么比较好啊？给点意见吧！

libbyUID: 151455

kzm
谢谢点评了！

gdhdannyUID: 125843

All of these can need

当作实意动词时这样说也不好，中文里咱们也很少讲“这样做会需要……”，直接写all of these requires就可以了

so if parents do bad things that go against morality

首先要明确，do bad things一定是go against morality的
所以两个并列可以合并：so if parents behave immorally...

你觉得呢？

caleUID: 150437

In contemporary society, education has been one of the key words because education (用it指代就行了)can promote both individual self-improvement（individual 和self 重复了吧） and the progress of the society. Nowadays, people are facing a difficult problem/tickler that how （价格to）train our children. Whether it is the duty of schools, or it is the responsibility of society? Should parents join into the education of children? Actually, education need the corporation of all people; （这个分号我觉的用的不合适）no matter who should make contribution to the education of children because education is so difficult （a）task for society that only educators cannot accomplish it. 这句话里也出现了两个education，而且离得很近。

First of all, children always live with their parents since they were born; so parents are the most important teachers in children' lives in that their ideas, actions, talking, and morality can affect their children profoundly. In a family, children often imitate their parents' activities（action） in that when they first see such actions, they feel amazed and cannot know whether they are right or wrong only know they are interesting（我觉得前面这句话是不是这样表达要好一些： the children often intimate their parents in the way that they are only motivated by their curiosity without knowing whether what they follow is right or wrong, 我也不肯定，建议在考虑一下）  ; so if parents do bad things that go against morality, their children may follow them; consequently, children will form bad moral views. In fact, parents have a deep influence on children's mind/mentality.

School is the most important and main/major place where children are educated and receive diversified knowledge. It is well known that most people receive the（a
) better education in school because school provides people with lots of resources and good faculties(前面用了比较级，lot和good也换成比较级是不是更好一些？). In school, children can learn from various books, absorb good character from others and learn how to be well-beings. Generally speaking, educators should be responsible for the education of children because their main task is to develop well-rounded intellectuals for society. Teachers not only should implant the knowledge of science and technology to children, but also must teach students how to be good(useful?) persons who can make contributions to society, and what merits they should develop. All of these can need the efforts of professional educators.

Similarly, our society also takes the responsibility of educate（词性不对） children because children live in the society. There is no one who can get rid of the influence of society unless he or she （is）isolated from the society radically. Children belong a part of the society（这里还有意思重复的问题，要么就属于这个社会，要么就说是社会的一部分）, and they must be affected by the activities, values, ideas and moral views of the whole society. A healthy society can bring our children into healthy personalities both physical and mentality（好像用bring to不恰当吧，建议改成help to develop or shape. Therefore, as well good education need the corporation of all kinds of social communities.

In a word, education is a very difficult but most important subject which need the aids of whole society. Parents, educators and social communities, all of them are indispensable for children's healthy growth.

再问大家一下，implant 的用法，是implant sb with sth还是别的。
To libby： Therefore, as well good education need the corporation of all kinds of social communities. 能帮我解释一下这句话中的as well 是什么意思吗？
最后几天了咬牙坚持呀，祝你成功！

libbyUID: 151455

哦！谢谢！gdhdanny
你的表达很地道的！pfpf！谢谢！我觉得你说的很好！

libbyUID: 151455

cale，谢谢你的点评！我会注意这些了！
as well 本来是也的意思，我在这里用错了！
implant sb with sth，我觉得用imbue with，或inculate这些更好，我当时记不起怎么写啊！还有个我记不起了！谢谢鼓励，反正我管不了那么多了就应上了！