issue207 rituals and ceremonies欢迎大家来看看，我还是花了些时间找资料的

银杏UID: 134344

207 "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies
or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


Considering the important roles played by rituals and ceremonies in defining a culture, I, fundamentally, agree the statement above.

Both rituals and ceremonies have long history, and some ritual and ceremonies can date back to thousands of years ago. Rituals are usually related to religions. The process of a ritual may last for a thousand year without any variation. Though rituals, people express their awe and respect to gods and goddesses, pleading bless to themselves. Compared to rituals, ceremonies are less formal. They have fewer ties with religious affairs, but more with the mundane world. Ceremonies can be used to celebrate a season’s coming, time for sowing, harvesting and the birth of a family member. In a word, rituals and ceremonies affect various aspects of people’s lives and society, from spiritual realm to secular affairs.

Through diverse rituals and ceremonies, people are bound together, find their similarity in culture, define themselves to the same group, and thus get to understand who they are. Christmas is one of the most important festivals celebrated in many countries. One Christmas Eve, people of these countries stay with their families, put Christmas presents under the Christmas trees and hang socks for Santa Claus. By these ceremonies for Christmas, a sense of religious sympathy among these people is aroused, therefore they recognize what cultures they belong to and what are their cultures like.

Without rituals and ceremonies, societies or groups of people will have a diminished sense of who they are. Although to define a culture, rituals and ceremonies are not solely ordinations. However, people will lose an important part of their own cultures without them. For example, many developing countries are now experiencing a process of modernization. But many people in these countries have misgivings that the process of modernization in these countries turn out to be a course of westernization, losing their own traditions. Nowadays, more and more people in China, especially young people, prefer to western ceremonies, abandoning their own ones. For example, some of them are very familiar with Valentine Day, but have no idea of Chinese lovers’ day. Some thoughtful persons worry that Chinese traditions and culture are being eroded, because of the loss of traditional rituals and ceremonies.  

In general, rituals and ceremonies are indispensable parts of a culture. Without them, it will be more difficult to recognize one’s own culture.

lovebrianUID: 157127

207 "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies
or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


Considering the important roles played by rituals and ceremonies in defining a culture, I, fundamentally, agree the statement above.

Both rituals and ceremonies have long history, and some ritual and ceremonies can date back to thousands of years ago. Rituals are usually related to religions. The process of a ritual may last for a thousand year(s) without any variation. Though rituals, people express their awe and respect(pl?) to gods and goddesses(神女神的用不用大写？), pleading bless to themselves. Compared to(with吧) rituals, ceremonies are less formal. They have fewer ties with religious affairs, but more with the mundane world. Ceremonies can be used to celebrate a season’s coming, time for sowing, harvesting and the birth of a family member. In a word, rituals and ceremonies affect various aspects of people’s lives and society, from spiritual realm to secular affairs.

Through diverse rituals and ceremonies, people are bound together, find their similarity in culture, define themselves to the same group, and thus get to understand who they are. Christmas is one of the most important festivals celebrated in many countries. One Christmas Eve, people of these countries stay with their families, put Christmas presents under the Christmas trees and hang socks for Santa Claus. By these ceremonies for Christmas, a sense of religious sympathy among these people is aroused, therefore they recognize what cultures they belong to and what are(放在后面把) their cultures like.

Without rituals and ceremonies, societies or groups of people will have a diminished sense of who they are. Although to define a culture, rituals and ceremonies are not solely ordinations. However, people will lose an important part of their own cultures without them. For example, many developing countries are now experiencing a process of modernization. But many people in these countries have misgivings that the process of modernization in these countries turn out to be a course of westernization, losing their own traditions.(例子很pl) Nowadays, more and more people in China, especially young people, prefer to western ceremonies, abandoning their own ones. For example, some of them are very familiar with Valentine Day, but have no idea of Chinese lovers’ day. Some thoughtful persons worry that Chinese traditions and culture are being eroded, because of the loss of traditional rituals and ceremonies. (这一段论证不错 句尾最好呼应下ts)

In general, rituals and ceremonies are indispensable parts of a culture. Without them, it will be more difficult to recognize one’s own culture.

语言很连贯 论证也很清晰 也注意了多种句式的变化 不错
感觉作者的语言习惯----复数用得很多

apolloxpUID: 156355

正文第三段，举例后面分析不够。没结合例子说明societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are

银杏UID: 134344

谢谢各位的意见了，没想到这么快就有人回。前几天的帖子早不知道沉到那里去了。
我再论述第三，四段的时候，确实费了不少脑筋。举什么例子合适，想了5，6个，最后写了这个。
本来是想用some thoughful persons 来论证的，现在看来不太够。主要是我写的时候，没有限时。
左改右该，注意了细节，忽视了整体。
总而言之，谢谢两位了。