Issue215 请多指教！

caleUID: 150437

Issue215 "The bombardment of visual images in contemporary society has the effect of making people less able to focus clearly and extensively on a single issue over a long period of time."

After careful and objective analysis about the issue whether people have been affected by the multitude of visual images in their long period focus on a single issue, I find my view partly consistent with the author's. Indubitably, people tend to be less able to constantly concentrate their
efforts and attention on one thing. However, in my opinion, persistence as a highly valued quality, can still be found in people in certain fields. In the following discussion, I will show my evidence to substantiate my view.   

In the first place, as a result of the prosperity and stability of the current world , most of us are accessible to exciting and colorful life, it is really inevitable that we will be disturbed while focusing a single issue, and then transit our attention. Nowadays, so many visual images are available for our choice at the same time, we need look no further than our daily experience of watching TV to see the choose of my view. Due to the development of science and technology, TV sets now become prevalent in people life, however, with the media advancing forward, we begin to have troubles while watching, not for lack of programs, but just on the contrary, for the abundance of choices. Maybe for this period, we prefer to watch the news report at supper, while in a later time, we will choose to watch entertaining programs at the some time every day. Therefore, we can see that the bombardment of visual images creates choices for us and then
frequently affect us to change them.   

In the second place, contrasting with the past, people now do feel difficult to continuously keep his interest on a single issue, for both the variety of choices and the rapid change of things. Now the bombardment of visual images is not only characteristic of the incessant emergence of
different things, but also of the frequent appearance of similar things in series. For example, almost all the computer users once hear about the PC game Diablo. At first, the Blizzard Entertainment advance its new PC game Diablo1; after seeing the player's popularity with the game, after year, the company advance diablo2 to satisfy the requirement of player for novelty; then different versions of diablo2 appear in the market, ranging from 1.07 to the current 1.10 version. Attributable to the frequent improvement of the game Diablo1 and Diablo2, both of which are nearly set in the same background, almost all the Diablo fans change his version of the Diablo game and thus transit his attention accordingly, for the reason of the changing version requirement on the battle net of Diablo.

In the final analysis, however, we had to acknowledge that persistence is still a highly valued quality of people, with the bombardment of visual images in contemporary society. We can still find the virtue on the action of many people. For instance, with the growing complexity of the problems we are now confronted with, it nearly impossible for the researchers to accomplish a certain task in a short time, however, despite of the ever present emergences of new information and other images, most of our researcher continually absorb the information and technique useful to them without any distract from their own task.   

To sum up, I consent to the author with some reservation. Through the discussion mentioned above, we can easily reach the conclusion that in the current time, it is indeed hard for us to always focus our efforts on a single issue, however, this trend shape by the development of our time does not affect much of the devotion of many people in various field, such as the scientific researchers.
限时之作，差点就没写完，下次再也不懈那么长了，而且通篇都在回避visual image这个概念，请大家赐教！能不能给举个例子。

dezhiUID: 156141

Issue215 "The bombardment of visual images in contemporary society has the effect of making people less able to focus clearly and extensively on a single issue over a long period of time."

After careful and objective analysis about the issue whether people have been affected by the multitude of visual images in their long period focus on a single issue, I find my view partly consistent with the author's. Indubitably, people tend to be less able to constantly concentrate their efforts and attention on one thing. However, in my opinion, persistence 这里应该加一个逗号，要不把后面的逗号去掉 as a highly valued quality, can still be found in people in certain fields. In the following discussion, I will show my evidence to substantiate my view.

In the first place, as a result of the prosperity and stability of the current world, most of us are accessible to exciting and colorful life 改成lives如何？,缺少连词 it is really inevitable that we will be disturbed while focusing on a single issue, and then transit our attention. Nowadays, so many visual images are available for our choice at the same time, 这里缺少连词的说! we need look no further than our daily experience of watching TV to see the choose 用choice？ of my view. Due to the development of science and technology, TV sets now become prevalent in people life这里问一句，如今TV占据了人们的生活，只是因为科技的进步吗？好像不充分呀,这里是不是应该用句号？不确定 however, with the media advancing forward, we begin to have troubles while watching 这里可以省略宾语吗？再就是觉得前面这半个句子不太好, not for lack of programs, but just on the contrary, for the abundance of choices. Maybe for 用这个词可以吗？during, at? this period, we prefer to watch the news report at supper, while in a later time, we will choose to watch entertaining programs at the some ？same？ time every day这个句子别扭. Therefore, we can see that the bombardment of visual images creates choices for us and then
frequently affect us to change them.
感觉这个TV的例子论证得不是太充分，或者说有些牵强。其实还可以说些别的，比如现在很多人喜欢跳槽，频繁调动工作这个例子，不就是因为选择太多，无法避免外界的诱惑吗？

In the second place, contrasting with the past, people now do feel difficult to continuously keep his interest on 是interest on还是in？ a single issue, for both the variety of choices and the rapid change of things觉得这里用both不太好，因为前者已经论述过了，这里是想论述后者，所以选一个可以突出后者的表达方式更好，比如not only…but also. Now the bombardment of visual images is not only characteristic of the incessant emergence of different things, but also of the frequent appearance of similar things in series 这里的appearance of similar things in series和前面的rapid change of things好像不太一致吧？. For example, almost all the computer users once hear about the PC game Diablo. At first, the Blizzard Entertainment advance 时态错误! its new PC game Diablo1; after 首字母大写! seeing the player's 就一个player? hoho，应该用players’ 另外觉得这个表达不太好，popularity among players怎么样 popularity with the game, after year after several years?, the company advance 又是个时态错误 diablo2 to satisfy the requirement of player用复数 for novelty; then 首字母大写! different versions of diablo2 appear 用have appeared更好吧! in the market, ranging from 1.07 to the current 1.10 version.发现楼主是个游戏迷呀，hoho~~~~ Attributable to the frequent improvement of the game Diablo1 and Diablo2, both of which are nearly set in the same background, almost all the Diablo fans change his 应该用their吧 version of the Diablo game and thus transit his attention accordingly, for the reason of the changing version requirement on the battle net of Diablo.

In the final analysis, 这不是最后一段呀，呵呵 however, we had 这里为什么又用过去式了？ to acknowledge that persistence is still a highly valued quality of people, with the bombardment of visual images in contemporary society. We can still find the 改成this是不是更好？ virtue on the action of many people. For instance, with the growing complexity of the problems we are now confronted with, it is nearly impossible for the researchers to accomplish a certain task in a short time, however, despite of despite/in spite of the ever present emergences of new information and other images, most of our researchers continually absorb the information and technique useful to them without any distract from their own task.
觉得这一段可以举出更好的例子，比如居里夫人，面对外界众多干扰，而能始终坚持在实验室里作实验提取镭，最终成功(先声明，这个人名我也不知道怎么写)，但限时写的，能写成这样已经很不错了，呵呵

To sum up, I consent to the author with some reservation. Through the discussion mentioned above, we can easily reach the conclusion that in the current time, it is indeed hard for us to always focus our efforts on a single issue, however, this trend shaped by the development of our time does not affect much of the devotion of many people in various field, such as the scientific researchers.转折句强调后者(如果我没记错的话)，可从篇幅来看，楼主显然是强调hard to focus，在这个基础上有些让步。所以我觉得应该调整一下顺序，不知意下如何？

dezhiUID: 156141

这篇文章写得不错，思路的展开很顺畅，各段之间的逻辑关系明了
但有不少小错误，包括时态，和单复数什么的。
另外，我对这个visual image也理解的不清楚，蛮抽象的，不过，往具体里写应该就行了:)

caleUID: 150437

dezhi给我改的真详细呀，呵呵，谢了，这些小错误在最后这几天里看来我还要加强一下。
第一段我只所以举TV的例子，就是因为不知道什么是visual image，所以我才想起了TV和diablo，这两个从意思上看起来有联系的，避免跑题，呵呵，无奈之举！不过说实话，玩diablo也占用了我不少宝贵的复习时间，呜呜！
我就不一一回应了，不过最后一段我写的确实是本末倒置了，我要去好好改了，呵呵。