issue243,限时作文，但是有一个问题想请教

sniper613UID: 147372

Issue243"The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."



In the human society, both of art and science take important place, which truly reflect the value of a civilization. Sometimes, some people usually emphasize the importance of artistic creation. However, in the point of my view, I think that human beings cannot live without art or science that are the impulse of the civilization.


In the first time, the importance of scientific accomplishments is quite obvious, which can improve people's lives and increase the productivity. In the modern time, science has greatly changed the situation of people's lives. For example, the invention of mobile telephone and the discovery of nuclear energy do have made individuals live in a better world and the producing increase largely. When a person, who is living in the North American, wants to contract with a individual in the Europe, the former one can just call the later one. By using mobile telephone, people can communicate with each other conveniently. Meanwhile, in the middle of the 20th century, physical scientists found the method to use nuclear energy. Since then, people have used nuclear energy to generate much more electricity than that generated by using coal. The cost of electricity also decreases with the development of this scientific method. Therefore, the scientific accomplishments do reflect the true value of a civilization in the society.


In addition, in the old and modern age, artistic creations are also important, which can enrich person's lives and encourage people to come over their difficulties. The art contains many comments, such as poem, movie, music, painting, novel, and so on. In the Renaissance, many artists created a large number of artistic works. And people in that time found them filled with more things except the Noble. Da Vince created a great deal of painting works such as Mona Lisa, Last Supper, and so on. His masteries not only were liked by the contemporaries but also are enjoyed by the people in the modern world. At the meantime, when people confront some difficulties in the lives, they can be encouraged by some artistic works. Beethoven's Symphony No.5 is a good example in case. This music work encourages individuals not to be frustrated when they face some problems. It also emphasizes that people should hold their own destiny rather than controlled by others. Thus, artistic creations play an important role as a mirror to reflect the value of a civilization.


Moreover, if a country or a race is short of either art or science, it will not develop well. In order to understand the gist of the statement, it is necessary to see an example. The civilization process of India tests that only art cannot make the country strong and wealthy. In the ancient time of India, Indians created many famous artistic works, such as some buildings, poems, and so on. But the old India was lack of developed science, so in the 19th century it became the colony of England. From this instance, it is not difficult to see that due to lacking of science, the civilization of India in the 19th century was slow. As a result, people cannot live without science or art. Both of science and art reflect the value of a civilization.


To sum up, due to the complicated nature of this topic, it is necessary to consider it on a case-by-case basis. On the one hand, science is essential in the society; on the other hand, art creation also plays an important role in the civilization. Either of them would be lack, so both of them reflect the value of a civilization.


在第四段里，我的TS是艺术和科学缺一不可，但是我找不到只有科学没有艺术的反面例子，请多多指教。谢谢！

lovebrianUID: 157127

sniper兄弟的论证功夫已经很强了~~~body1可以当经典教材了~~~~
文章写得不错，但是~~~似乎没有扣住文明这个概念~~~~~
题目说反映出文明~~但是文章没有对文明的反应来讨论阿~~

btw "come over"是不是“overcome”?

还有那个只有科学没有艺术的~~~可以用假设法嘛！

amkloUID: 158860

In the human society, both of art and science take important place, which truly reflect the value of a civilization. Sometimes, some people usually emphasize the importance of artistic creation. However, in the point of my view, (重复) human beings cannot live without art or science that are the impulse of the civilization.


In the first time, the importance of scientific accomplishments is quite obvious, which can improve people's lives and increase the productivity. In the modern time, science has greatly changed the situation of people's lives. For example, the invention of mobile telephone and the discovery of nuclear energy do have made individuals live in a better world and . When a person, who is living in the North American, wants to contract（communicate） with a individual in the Europe, the former one can just call the later one. By using mobile telephone, people can communicate with each other conveniently. Meanwhile, in the middle of the 20th century, physical scientists found the method to use nuclear energy. Since then, people have used nuclear energy to generate much more electricity than that generated by using coal. The cost of electricity also decreases with the development(application) of this scientific method. Therefore, the scientific accomplishments do reflect the true value of a civilization in the society.


In addition, in the old and modern age , artistic creations are also important, which can enrich person's lives and encourage people to come over (challenge or even overcome)their difficulties. The art contains many comments(elements), such as poem, movie, music, painting, novel, and so on. In the Renaissance, many artists created a large number of artistic works. And people in that time found them filled with more things except the Noble. Da Vince created a great deal of painting works Mona Lisa, Last Supper, .(repeat?) His masteries not only were liked by the contemporaries but also are enjoyed by the people in the modern world. At the meantime, when people confront some difficulties in the lives, they can be encouraged by some artistic works. Beethoven's Symphony No.5 is a good example in case. This music work encourages individuals not to be frustrated when they face some problems. It also emphasizes that people should hold their own destiny rather than controlled by others. Thus, artistic creations play an important role as a mirror to reflect the value of a civilization.


Moreover, if a country or a race is short of either art or science, it will not develop well. In order to understand the gist of the statement, it is necessary to see an example. The civilization process of India tests that only art cannot make the country strong and wealthy. In the ancient time of India, Indians created many famous artistic works, such as some buildings, poems, and so on. But the old India was lack of developed science, so in the 19th century it became the colony of England. From this instance, it is not difficult to see that due to lacking of science, the civilization of India in the 19th century was slow. As a result, people cannot live without science or art. Both of science and art reflect the value of a civilization.


To sum up, due to the complicated nature of this topic, it is necessary to consider it on a case-by-case basis. On the one hand, science is essential in the society; on the other hand, art creation also plays an important role in the civilization. Either of them would be lack, so both of them reflect the value of a civilization.

sniper613UID: 147372

to lovebrian
我觉得civilization包括很多方面，我觉得应该细化
手机的使用，核能的开发应该是人类科技文明史上比较重要的事件了吧
艺术的发展，艺术家的成绩也应该是civilization吧
关于假设法，我觉得除非有牛人的逻辑，一般我是说不清楚的

你的看法呢？

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 sniper613 发布
[B]to lovebrian
我觉得civilization包括很多方面，我觉得应该细化
手机的使用，核能的开发应该是人类科技文明史上比较重要的事件了吧
艺术的发展，艺术家的成绩也应该是ci..

以下省略...... [/B]

嗯！你的意思我明白了~~~的确具体化了好写得多~~也清楚~~
我觉得最好在具体化之前把文明诠释一下~~~过渡到所具体的事物上~~~这样就会很扣题目了~~你觉得那？

btw假设法~~的问题，呵呵~~sniper兄可以写写试试看嘛！不然怎么就认为自己不是牛人呢？？

sniper613UID: 147372

to lovebrian
我觉得最好在具体化之前把文明诠释一下~~~过渡到所具体的事物上~~~这样就会很扣题目了~~
很好的意见，太感谢了
我就算能把假设法说清楚，自己心里也没底，还是算了吧。

veecnnUID: 151808

Moreover, if a country or a race is short of either art or science, it will not develop well. In order to understand the gist of the statement, it is necessary to see an example. The civilization process of India tests that only art cannot make the country strong and wealthy. In the ancient time of India, Indians created many famous artistic works, such as some buildings, poems, and so on. （这个example比较抽象，只说such as some buildings, poems, and so on,又不具体说出哪些buildings, poems……，是不是有点空泛，这样的例子似乎不太有说服力）But the old India was lack of developed science, so in the 19th century it became the colony of England. From this instance, it is not difficult to see that due to lacking of science, the civilization of India in the 19th century was slow. As a result, people cannot live without science or art. Both of science and art reflect the value of a civilization.

sniper613UID: 147372

谢谢veecnn
我还在查这些例子，你有好的例子吗？

veecnnUID: 151808

我要有早就写出来了呀，又何必卖关子呢。其实我觉得中国的例子不错，可以说重视人文轻自然科学导致被列强侵略，这个我们中国人都熟悉，不过总觉得写文章要回避自己国家的一些不好的事，怕被ets觉得不爱国。

xiangUID: 138532

In the human society, both of art and science take important place, which truly reflect the value of a civilization. Sometimes, some people usually emphasize the importance of artistic creation. However, in the point of my view, I think that human beings cannot live without （加上either 也许更好,表示强调两方面）art or science that are the impulse of the civilization.


In the first time, the importance of scientific accomplishments is quite obvious, which can improve people's lives (? Quality 表达也许和improve 更搭配吧) and increase the productivity. In the modern time, science has greatly changed the situation of people's lives. For example, the invention of mobile telephone and the discovery of nuclear energy do have made individuals live in a better world and the producing increase largely. When a person, who is living in the North American, wants to contract with a individual in the Europe, the former one can just call the later one. By using mobile telephone, people can communicate with each other conveniently. Meanwhile, in the middle of the 20th century, physical scientists found the method to use nuclear energy. Since then, people have used nuclear energy to generate much more electricity than that generated by using coal. The cost of electricity also decreases with the development of this scientific method. Therefore, the scientific accomplishments do reflect the true value of a civilization in the society.

这一段紧扣主题,表达流畅自然,例证充分,只是我觉得举例能否更简洁一点,显得比较干脆利落.

In addition, in the old and modern age, artistic creations are also important, which can enrich person's lives(我觉得是不是强调一下丰富精神世界,区别于科技带来的物质世界) and encourage people to come over their difficulties. The art contains many comments, such as poem, movie, music, painting, novel, and so on. In the Renaissance, many artists created a large number of artistic works. And people in that time found them filled with more things except the Noble. Da Vince created a great deal of painting works such as Mona Lisa, Last Supper, and so on. His masteries not only were liked by the contemporaries but also are enjoyed by the people in the modern world. At the meantime, when people confront some difficulties in the lives, they can be encouraged by some artistic works. Beethoven's Symphony No.5 is a good example in case. This music work encourages individuals not to be frustrated when they face some problems.(VERY GOOD!) It also emphasizes that people should hold their own destiny rather than (BE)controlled by others. Thus, artistic creations play an important role as a mirror to reflect the value of a civilization.


Moreover, if a country or a race is short of either art or science, it will not develop well. In order to understand the gist of the statement, it is necessary to see an example. The civilization process of India tests that only art cannot make the country strong and wealthy. In the ancient time of India, Indians created many famous artistic works, such as some buildings, poems, and so on. But the old India was lack of developed science, so in the 19th century it became the colony of England. From this instance, it is not difficult to see that due to lacking of science, the civilization of India in the 19th century was slow( maybe is the process ,not the civilization) . As a result, people cannot live without science or art(勉强升华到人类生存的高度,有牵强之嫌). Both of science and art reflect the value of a civilization.


To sum up, due to the complicated nature of this topic, it is necessary to consider it on a case-by-case basis. On the one hand, science is essential in the society; on the other hand, art creation also plays an important role in the civilization. Either of them would be lack, so both of them reflect the value of a civilization.

文章论证充分,逻辑关系明确,挺不错的文章,小女子佩服
如果能从一开始就明确物质文明和上层建筑之间的关系,也许回觉得更有条理.你在最后才提出这个概念,显得有点匆忙
我的一点浅见.见笑拉
请为我做一下评判好吗?

xiangUID: 138532

我的文章
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=175489
谢谢

sniper613UID: 147372

谢谢xiang
我的语言是比较罗索的拉，目的是凑字数拉，不要拿砖扔我啊。
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