急求建议！找RA卷入江湖纠纷了...

zerostuckUID: 2801957

现在情况是这样的....

我差不多一个月前给A老板发了邮件问他要不要RA。A老板原则上同意了，然后让下面的人跟我谈。下面的人一周前跟我说，and I quote, that A pretty much wants you, but there is a rare chance that you may not get the job if some one else better than you apply （visa issue）。然后就没有回音了。

我觉得有点慌，就找了第二个老板B，谈得很好，也能确定要我。因为个人原因，我也比较偏向于B（离女盆友近）。但是不知道怎么回复A。如果A觉得你先接了我的活又去私揽，小子特么不要命了？那我不就被ＫＯ了？另一方面，A和B有点江湖矛盾，B也怕被人说闲话挖墙角.....

最大问题是，我要怎么和A说..如果我锯了B，结果A的活又没拿到，那就逗逼了..但是万一接了B的活被A发现了我也得呵呵......

情况就是这样。问问大家有啥想法...

zerostuckUID: 2801957

在线等...

heqiaodeUID: 3531780

所以是找之前你并不知道a和b有江湖矛盾？

zerostuckUID: 2801957

heqiaode 发表于 2014-8-21 16:41
所以是找之前你并不知道a和b有江湖矛盾？

对啊。。AB原来是在一个学校的。。我还以为他们关系很好。。才一起申的。。推荐我的人都是同一个人。。。。。

因为一些个人原因，现在比较偏向于B的工作。但是怕说A觉得已经要了我了（虽然VISA啊这种administrative的事情还没解决，但是老板一般不会理解这种concern的。。吧？），我再反悔不好。况且AB之间的矛盾会让说投奔B这个事情让B不太好看。。虽然我觉得我小虾米一个肯定不会说有多重要。。但是谁也不知道江湖大佬会怎么想吧。。。

ting9112UID: 3454977

LZ急 在线等

aakponUID: 2716906

诚实吧，直接跟A说自己的情况。。。

zerostuckUID: 2801957

aakpon 发表于 2014-8-21 20:56
诚实吧，直接跟A说自己的情况。。。

Well, I just sent him an email, saying I am sorry but I have to withdraw my application (i.e. I do not see it as he had already offered me the job) due to some personal reasons. But did not mention that I have this job offer from B, or my concern about the possibility, regardless how remote it is, of which I might not get the job.

Not yet got a reply but let's see how it goes...

maine246UID: 3034836

Be frank，给A解释你当时为啥申B，说清楚RA B是你自己的选择，不是B挖墙脚。如果觉得自己哪里理亏就诚恳道歉
反正无论是理论还是经验full information都是最优的。。

zerostuckUID: 2801957

maine246 发表于 2014-8-21 21:13
Be frank，给A解释你当时为啥申B，说清楚RA B是你自己的选择，不是B挖墙脚。如果觉得自己哪里理亏就诚恳道歉 ...

I don't know if it is wise to involve B in this since during the 1 and a half hour interview (one hour of which is devoted to discuss the complex situation here) B explicitly ask me do NOT bring him into the picture... And the personal reason is valid and real as well.... In that case I am not sure whether it is better to provide the full information set (rather than the one I have provided)

*edit to correct the grammar, sry I can't type Chinese at the moment..

饭炒蛋UID: 3231108

zerostuck 发表于 2014-8-21 21:01
Well, I just sent him an email, saying I am sorry but I have to withdraw my application (i.e. I do ...

A和B现在不是一个department的？或者说AB现在有多么close？如果没什么来往那我觉得你说这些可以了，不用细说，如果A不问的话。

zerostuckUID: 2801957

饭炒蛋 发表于 2014-8-21 21:22
A和B现在不是一个department的？或者说AB现在有多么close？如果没什么来往那我觉得你说这些可以了，不用 ...

no they are not. I think you are absolutely right if A thinks I did not accept the offer. Then the situation is less complicated and indeed I could just walk away from A's offer.

I try to make this impression that from what I understand, he had not explicitly made me the offer and I had not accept it. But it could be delicate because it is me who first approach him at the end of the day.....

伪摇滚爱好者UID: 2990861

楼主放轻松，牛人顾不过来这些的，拿到录取就准备干活吧

zerostuckUID: 2801957

伪摇滚爱好者 发表于 2014-8-21 21:46
楼主放轻松，牛人顾不过来这些的，拿到录取就准备干活吧

I sincerely hope so.

zerostuckUID: 2801957

Got a reply, it turns out 伪摇滚爱好者's right. Thank you for your advises! I really appreciate it.

horsefootUID: 2130610

如果你选择B，那么诚恳的给A写邮件，说明事情原委，一般教授都会理解你还会找其他人的。大牛很忙，一般也懒得理这些事情。呵呵一下就没事了，

如果你选择A，这个.......