2015年9月学习小组"雅思写作互改小组"(交作业请直接上传)

wiskytpUID: 3493255

新手上路，请多指教:loveliness:

piligrimUID: 3537614

MXA 发表于 2014-10-7 11:21

意见很中肯，非常感谢！

ilukUID: 3529638

MXA 发表于 2014-10-7 10:42
谢谢你的修改，不过你说我开头和结尾结论不同，其实我开头没有下结论，只是改写了原题，最后结尾才下的结 ...

哦哦~好吧~我觉得开头提一下自己观点可能会好些~:lol

MXAUID: 3372069

piligrim 发表于 2014-10-5 16:37
homework

revise 10_06_piligrim_crimes.doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2014-10-7 11:21:05 上传

下载次数: 3
已经改好

MXAUID: 3372069

iluk 发表于 2014-10-6 21:18
拓展得好好啊~~

谢谢你的修改，不过你说我开头和结尾结论不同，其实我开头没有下结论，只是改写了原题，最后结尾才下的结论。

sarayu1UID: 3395737

卡夫卡加油 发表于 2014-9-29 07:54
0928占座

同学，你还没改我的作文哦~~

ilukUID: 3529638

piligrim 发表于 2014-10-6 20:18
共勉~~

太感谢了！好多写的时候都觉得太笼统但不知道怎么具体写~谢谢指点迷津！

ilukUID: 3529638

MXA 发表于 2014-10-4 22:47
交作业  10.4，MXA
新手，如有不对，请指教

Revise 10.4 MXA.doc (17.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2014-10-6 21:17:06 上传

下载次数: 4

拓展得好好啊~~

piligrimUID: 3537614

iluk 发表于 2014-10-4 23:05
交作业，strictly control on crime
同新手，格式不对会改进

REVISE_1004 iluk.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2014-10-6 20:17:37 上传

下载次数: 1

共勉~~

piligrimUID: 3537614

sarayu1 发表于 2014-10-6 05:36

改的非常仔细，我也发现自己有 长难句狂魔的恶习哈哈~~下次一定自己先好好看看再上传

In addition,the foundation of National Childrens’s Day and Women’s Day do[foundation 做主语应该用dose] provide financial help to those vulnerable kids and females,especially in some African and Asian countries[用areas 也可以]
我个人觉得是2个节日的分别建立所以用do provide，所以前面改成foundations也okay的吧？
共勉啦~~

sarayu1UID: 3395737

piligrim 发表于 2014-9-29 19:08
这篇真的写了好久，想不出Disadvantages,每次其实都是没按要求时间完成，想着先提高质量再提高速度吧，与 ...

RE-0928_festivals_piligrim.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2014-10-6 05:36:20 上传

下载次数: 3

piligrimUID: 3537614

10_06_piligrim_crimes.doc (14 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2014-10-5 16:36:37 上传

下载次数: 3

homework

ilukUID: 3529638

交作业，strictly control on crime
同新手，格式不对会改进 1004 iluk.doc (15 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2014-10-4 23:04:18 上传

下载次数: 1

MXAUID: 3372069

交作业  10.4，MXA
新手，如有不对，请指教

屈机UID: 3538209

Topic: Distance education delivered over the Internet or television has more advantages than classroom-based education. Do you agree or disagree?

Currently, the Internet and television have become increasingly accessible in our daily lives, which has an impact on the education style as well. Some people argue that the new distance education tendency is superior to the traditional method, whereas I am holding an opposite opinion.

Undoubtedly, distance education has several remarkable advantages. Economically, it is cost-saving. Instead of the high tuition fees in the classroom-based education, what you need is the Internet or the television for distance learning, which are inexpensive and available for the public. Additionally, distance education is more convenient. Arranging the curriculum according to your personal routine schedule, the time is much more flexible, especially for the people who are under employment. Moreover, without going to the classroom everyday, it is convenient for the individuals who are living in rural areas as well.

On the other hand, the obvious drawbacks of distance education cannot be denied. It lacks opportunity for the students to interact with both the teachers and other classmates. By contrast, the classroom-based education provides more communication chances. For instance, you can discuss the questions with others during the classes, or develop a project with other students, through which you can not only acquire relevant knowledge, but also cultivate precious qualities like cooperation and team spirit. Another noticeable disadvantage is that, unfortunately, the certification of distance education has not been widely accepted in the employment market yet. Therefore, the students with traditional diploma tend to be more competitive in seeking job opportunities.  

Overall, the distance education delivered over the internet or television is a rapid rising trend for its advantages in several aspects. But, however, the traditional classroom-based education remains more regular and beneficial.