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楼主: karen小心

[备考小组] 2015年9月学习小组"雅思写作互改小组"(交作业请直接上传) [复制链接]

stellayang1205
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发表于 2014-9-27 19:47:09 |显示全部楼层

amater 发表于 2014-9-20 22:34
同学，你没改我的作文

请问您的作文在几楼啊？

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王小刁
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发表于 2014-9-27 19:46:40 |显示全部楼层

sarayu1 发表于 2014-9-25 10:12
新人报道，交作业啦~上次的小作文错过交作业的时间了，哪位好心可以帮我改一下呢？

Revise

0925-sarayu.docx (16.37 KB, 下载次数: 2)

双非DIY美硕申请总结

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stellayang1205
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发表于 2014-9-27 19:46:24 |显示全部楼层

amater 发表于 2014-9-20 22:34
同学，你没改我的作文

哦哟哟，抱歉抱歉，我马上看。

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王小刁
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发表于 2014-9-27 18:52:52 |显示全部楼层

卡夫卡加油发表于 2014-9-27 09:16
revised

十分感谢，批改的很认真，意见也很中肯，就是我有一个问题想请教，cheap以及cheapness是不是在使用时会让人觉得带有廉价且质量不好的感觉，是不是使用inexpensiveness较好？

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屈机
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发表于 2014-9-27 17:50:05 |显示全部楼层

题目：Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that education is playing more and more significant a role in our competitive society. People are getting accustomed to spending more time on education. Some people even claim that children should spend their leisure time on educational activities, too.

Since knowledge has become a priority in our lives, parents tend to believe that the more time their children spent in studying, the more likely for them to be successful in the future. Therefore, some parents think that children’s recreational activities should be related to education, such as taking extracurricular courses, which hones children’s learning skills. So it seems children indeed should spend their free time gaining knowledge so as to be competitive and eventually their promising future will come.

However, every coin has two sides. If all the leisure activities are educational, in my opinion, may lead to a wide range of problems too. For one thing, too much time spent in studying could intensify children’s academic pressure, which may even dampen their enthusiasm about learning at school. For another, children are at the best stage in their lives to cultivate their creativities and to develop their identities. If such a precious period is totally spent educationally, children’s potential will be restricted, which hinders their further developments.

From my perspective, spending some of their leisure time on other activities is not a waste of time, but rather another effective way to enhance children’s abilities. For example, taking part in volunteer activities, having fun with their peers, and doing sports regularly, all these issues are beneficial to children’s all-rounded developments.

In conclusion, leisure time should be spent in a way not only educational-related, but also in a way which helps the children grow up emotionally and mentally healthy.

第一次写作文，麻烦各位帮忙打一下分，欢迎各位指点！感谢！

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