GRE作文6分教学博客

普林UID: 3467715

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-22 21:16
有版主提醒我不要让组员在版面上发全文，否则可能会被ETS索引而导致被判抄袭。对于这个问题，我其实有点怀疑 ...

哈哈，simon老师很霸气啊~赞一个

普林UID: 3467715

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-5 23:36
有版友提出语言表达的问题如何解决。这确实是很头疼的问题。一个基本的原则就是要多看好的句子、多模仿；与 ...

Simon老师好，这是我按照你的要求写的句子练习：

对于家境富裕的学生，这个建议没有好处，他们可以根据自己的兴趣来选专业
对于特别有才华的学生，这个建议也不好，因为他们应该根据自己的才华来选专业，将来总会有工作
对于经济压力较大的学生，这个建议很合适，因为对他们来说找到工作最重要

I agree with the statement that it would benefit those under great pressure for a immediate job. For those who were brought up in a decent family, however, they could choose their career based on their interest. Moreover, student with versatile talent would find it more beneficial to stick to using their advantage rather than yielding to reality.
写到后面觉得不太会paraphrase题目中的base choice on the availability, 所以写yield to也是无奈之举。还请老师指点一二

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

普林 发表于 2014-11-28 10:35
Simon老师好，这是我按照你的要求写的句子练习：

对于家境富裕的学生，这个建议没有好处，他们可以根据 ...

could you edit your post to include the original task so I can assess your work without referring back to the previous post? You may also contact me via my Wechat account, my wechat ID is the same as my GTER ID.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-21 18:16
看了王老师的分享和点评，很受鼓舞。一战aw时，已经列了所有issue提纲（自己简单想的，没有按照1+3模式来 ...

22) According to a recent report, cheating among college and university students is on the rise. However, Groveton College has successfully reduced student cheating by adopting an honor code, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced a system in which teachers closely monitored students; under that system, teachers reported an average of thirty cases of cheating per year. In the first year the honor code was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey, a majority of Groveton students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. Thus, all colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's in order to decrease cheating among students.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

16:36  
students agree not to cheat
students agree to notify faculty
replace teacher monitor- report 30 per year

21 cases under honour code
5 years later- drop to 14  
survey- less likely to cheat

all colleges and universities


It is argued that all universities and colleges should follow the example of Groveton College to adopt an honor code in order to reduce the cases of cheating. A number of questions about the cheating cases, the reasons why fewer cases of cheating were reported and how representative Groveton is among universities have to be answered in order to decide if the recommendation and the argument are reasonable.  

To begin with, we need to know more about the details of the cheating cases among Groveton students to decide if the honor code is likely to be effective.  For example, we need to know if students are likely to keep their promises not to cheat during their studies given the pressure of performing well.  If the students are under great pressure to do well academically, they may cheat despite their promises under the honor code. In addition, we need to know if students are more likely to detect the cases of cheating than teachers. For example, in close-book exams, maybe students can discover cheating cases of their peers around them more easily; but in paper-based assignments, teachers will detect cheating more easily with anti-plagiarism software such as Turnitin.

In addition, we also need to know why the number of reported cases of cheating was reduced after the adoption of honor code. We need more evidence about how likely students are to report their peers’ cheating cases. Maybe the students are reluctant to report the cases under peer pressure, thereby reducing the number of reported cases when the actual number of cheating cases was higher. If the decrease of reported cases is a result of the students’ reluctance to report, the honor code would actually be ineffective in deterring cheating.  Another possible reason for the decline of cheating cases could be the reduction of enrolments of the college, which we need to explore with more evidence.  

Finally, it is important to ask to what extent the other universities and colleges are comparable to Groveton and the honor code would be acceptable among the students and faculty members. Maybe the honor code is effective in Groveton as students there are not under great pressure to perform well or most of them are strongly motivated and well prepared for the assessments. This may not be the case for students in other universities or colleges. Moreover, for the honor code to work, both students and faculty members need to accept it as a legitimate and viable system. Groveton students and faculty may find the system acceptable but those from other universities and colleges may not.  

In conclusion, we do not know whether the recommendation would be effective and whether the argument is reasonable until we can gather more information to answer the questions discussed above.  
16:58  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-21 18:16
看了王老师的分享和点评，很受鼓舞。一战aw时，已经列了所有issue提纲（自己简单想的，没有按照1+3模式来 ...

Claim: It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.
Reason: The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

44可以将celebrity分作 athletes politicians scientists三类人来讨论 指出第一类人年轻 多金 诱惑多 容易出丑闻 第二类人政敌多 做的决策有争议 第三类人做的成就容易转化为技术 讲的话有权威  对于前两类人 claim和reason都成立 对于第三类人则不成立


84) It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

17:15  

With the development of the Internet and the social media, the private lives of celebrities are being scrutinised and talked about by ordinary people all the time. Therefore, it is argued that people can no longer regard the living celebrities as heroes given so much information about their not so honourable private lives. I would agree that this is indeed the case in the field of entertainment, sports and politics. Some people may argue that celebrities with lifelong achievements in entertainments and sports may still be regarded as heroes. But with the social media more interested in celebrities in their prime time, the older celebrities would only receive much attention when they pass away.  

I agree that it is no longer possible to consider celebrities in the fields of entertainment and sports as heroes because they are often young and rich facing temptations in their private lives. Consider the case of Tiger Woods, the heroic figure in professional golf. While Woods was often regarded as the greatest contemporary golf player and a hero in the field, his reputation was severely undermined after his scandal of extramarital affair.  Stories of fallen heroes who were young, talented and well-regarded are commonplace because it was more difficult for them to discipline themselves when they could do anything they like with the money and fame.  

It is equally difficult, if not impossible, for people to idolise political leaders these days.  President Clinton was widely regarded as a competent leader of the US bringing great economic prosperity to nation plagued by economic aftermath left by President Bush.  Yet, he was not a perfect man and made mistakes that gave opportunities to his political enemies to exploit leading to the infamous scandal of Monica Lewinsky. Even if a majority of Americans are willing to forgive Mr. Clinton’s misconduct, it is nearly impossible to count him among the great US presidents such as Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy.  

Some people may challenge my argument by pointing out that older celebrities in these fields may be regarded as heroes considering their lifelong achievements. Figures like Robin Williams and Woody Allen, for example, may be considered heroes in the movie industry in the light of their numerous accomplishments throughout their lives. This may indeed be the case. But we need to bear in mind that, in today’s social media as well as traditional media, attention is often given disproportionately to the celebrities in their prime time. People are more interested in news and gossips about Jennifer Lawrence and Ellen Page than the biographies of Mike Douglas or Steve Martin.  

Given the limited space, I only address this issue with regard to the celebrities in fields of entertainment, sports and politics. But the points I try to make may be applicable to other fields as well: celebrities in their prime time often could neither resist the temptations that arise from their fame and wealth nor avoid the attacks from their enemies; as a result, it is difficult for them to be regarded as heroes; for the older celebrities with lifelong accomplishments, they were often forgotten by the general public until the day they pass away.  

17:46

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

6) A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

useful for college admission
helpful for students from less developed regions
but be careful about government intervention


To improve the quality of pre-college education, it is often proposed that all students should be required to study the same national curriculum. I agree that adopting the same curriculum for schools across the nation would be helpful for students and teachers from less developed regions to get more support and for universities around the nations to evaluate applicants more objectively.  Nevertheless, we need to be careful of the danger of the national government to advance its own political agenda through this national curriculum.  

Through adopting a standardised national curriculum, it would be more feasible for schools in less developed regions to get support and help for improving their education. Since students from the disadvantaged school districts will be studying the same curriculum as those from schools bestowed with more resources, it is possible for the schools in the less developed regions to re-use lesson plans and other teaching materials developed elsewhere. In addition, it is more convenient for teachers across nations including those volunteers from Teach for America program to serve as temporary teachers in those disadvantaged schools as the same materials can be used under the national curriculum.  

In addition, the national curriculum would be useful for universities to assess the applications from all over the nation more objectively. Currently, the college admission system relies on standardised tests such as SAT and ACT to assess students’ academic potential objectively. But such instruments are often criticised for creating extra workload and stress among the college bound students.  With the same national curriculum, the university admission committees can use the GPAs of the applicants as a more accurate and comparable indicator to make admission decisions.  

Despite the above two advantages of the proposed policy, we need to be cautious about the risk of the government imposing certain ideological agenda to the schools through requiring a national curriculum. Quality education should be provided for all students regardless of socioeconomic backgrounds to improve social mobility among the youths. But it should not be used as an institution for propagating the official ideology and values that serve to legitimise the national government.  Therefore, if we are to adopt a national curriculum, we should do everything we can to make sure the curriculum is free from political bias or influence from the national government.  

In conclusion, I agree that all students should be required to study the same national curriculum which can help the students from less developed regions to receive better education and the universities around the nation to make admission decisions more effectively. Nevertheless, it is important to remain vigilant against any political intervention of the national government when designing and implementing the national curriculum.

黑白沉默UID: 3486497

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-17 16:33
109. Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of th ...

最近在认真研读老师的各种范文什么的哈，这里有个小问题求教：关于109 “Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised.”题，我觉得老师分类大众和科学家的写作思路很精妙也很科学，只是因为这题的instruction第一句话是Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take.这个要求我的理解是，自己应该要旗帜鲜明地从题目2观点选取一个来赞成的，不知道老师分类的观点跟这个会不会有一点点不符合？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

黑白沉默 发表于 2014-11-29 20:31
最近在认真研读老师的各种范文什么的哈，这里有个小问题求教：关于109 “Some people believe that scien ...

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take.

我想我的position是 在某些情况我更接近前一个观点，某些情况下更接近后一个观点，我觉得这样是没问题的。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

普林 发表于 2014-11-27 11:13
哈哈，simon老师很霸气啊~赞一个

这两天美国感恩节 至今没有回复 可能要等到下周了

普林UID: 3467715

tesolchina 发表于 2014-11-14 12:05
argument的1+3模型及提纲写法

和issue一样，写argument全文前，请先写提纲给我点评、修改稿经我认可。 ...

提纲：
（按老师要求粘贴了题目，写出了结论，主体段和中文展开）
题目 Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
结论 the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
证据01 They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year.
证据02 These reports that the deer populations are declining coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt

第一段
In the statement, the speaker argues that it is global warming trend that leads to the the decline of Arctic deers by melting the ice used for deers to traval to suitable habitats. However, without addressing some unstated assumptions with regard tothe vadility of report resource, any other factors that result in declines, and any specific statistics as proof of influence posed by global warming, the conclusion is stil open to question.

中间第一段
First of all, the statement based on the mere hunters’ report is unconvincing for only one source of information may lead to baised conclusion. 如果没有近三五年长期的记录，以及对信息来源可信度的认证，这份报道的真实性很难确定。更何况是鹿群的威胁者——猎人，所给出的报道。这完全可能是这一种情况：猎人大批捕杀鹿群，而当地设有保护政策；所以猎人将罪责推脱给自然原因，掩盖了捕猎行为对鹿群数量骤降的实情。所以，依赖单一的资料来源不能帮助人们找到真相，由此得出的结论更不具有说服力；

中间第二段
without ruiling out other possibilities that may decrease the number of deers, it stands no ground to simply claim the effects of warming to be the cause of less deers.比如，鹿群赖以生存的食物，因不适应气候变化而大批绝迹，导致鹿群生存率下降。或者，人类的活动影响鹿群的繁殖，如果他们新迁徙的栖息地遭到了人类的破坏，也有可能造成同样的结果。所以除非作者给出证据排除这些可能性，把鹿群减少的现象归结为冰层融化无法迁徙，是没有说服力的。

中间第三段
Even though the speaker ruil out such evidence, it still remaines doubt that whether the melting of ice
would deadly result in decline of such a large amount of deers. 首先，作者没有告知全球变暖和鹿群
减少的直接关系到底是什么，而是主观假设：变暖的程度之高，以至于鹿群所使用的那部分区域
的冰层融化到完全无法使用的程度。这个假设如果没有数据提供支持，所以完全可以提出有其他
的可能性：冰层经变暖活动后，大面积完好可使用；或者早在变暖发生之初，鹿群就已经完成了
迁徙。所以在没有验证两者关系的前提下，该论断是不成立的。

杨家齐UID: 3566396

[11.30二战issue经验分享］虽然分数还没有出来，但还是想来论坛分享一下我的体会。
issue考题：54) In order to become well-rounded individuals, all college students should be required to take courses in which they read poetry, novels, mythology, and other types of imaginative literature.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

本人情况：上外大四，今年10.25一战AW3.5，托福作文27。
二战前一周加入这个六分经验分享即作文互改小组。时间非常紧，但不得不说，这一周对我的作文（能否提分先不论）至少时对我的写作思路的影响是很深刻的。
记得一战AW 的argument和issue都是写到了time is up的最后一秒，答完题目心里非常忐忑，不断在纠结自己背的名人例子堆进去不知道合不合适，一句句地挤牙膏挤进去就怕字数不够多……
但这次我很明显地感觉到考作文时的状态和上次不同，开始码字之前先在草稿纸上用1+3模型搭建文章的思路（见下文）
我这篇文章的思路是分情况讨论的：第一段imaginative literature对于有志于通过大学教育发现自己更多潜能从而能够更全面发展的学生而言是很重要的；第二段是针对第一段的这群人来说，courses需要是有足够qualified的阅读材料以及懂得因材施教的教授来满足不同学生的需求，否则course还是不可以被justified，这段我有提到clubs和speeches作为alternatives；第三段写对于那些community colleges和vocational schools的学生来说，强制给他们教授imaginative literature课程是不尊重他们自由选择受教育的权力的。

想好分论点之后就开始组织就主题段，写作过程中，不断地去refer到well-rounded, all colleges和required这些概念。因为这篇issue考前只是准备了简单的提纲（自己写的，没有补充例子）所以内容写得有些干，建议大家可以在1+3模型的基础上，更关注自己的语言并下意识地去总结一些简单好用的例子（不一定是要名人名言，我觉得王老师强调的思想实验和假想的例子就很讨巧）另外，还需要去学一些美国人所认为的common sense（比如公司制度、国家和人民的关系等等）因为AW考察的不仅仅是我们的写作能力，也是我们整个undergraduate／graduate school的知识储备。暂时就想到这么多。谢谢王老师，与大家共勉～

普林UID: 3467715

杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-30 21:39
[11.30二战issue经验分享］虽然分数还没有出来，但还是想来论坛分享一下我的体会。
issue考题：54) In ord ...

赞~祝好成绩！

杨家齐UID: 3566396

［跟王老师讨论之后的几篇issue思路］

我在接下来的几天内会整理出几篇跟王老师讨论之后的issue思路，内容将还将包括我自己在讨论之前的思路以及根据讨论总结出来的，普遍适用issue写作的规律和方法。我做这件事一来是为跟大家分享一些心得，二来为自己巩固要点，三来为王老师的指导表示感谢，希望大家能有所收获。

我将整理的issue题为：7、11、18、19、51、69、77、79、84、85、93、103、105、119、130、144。
具体内容在小组题库中的相关issue帖中可见～

DEMO如下
原题：18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
我的思路：1，well-being定义不明确；2，反对权威的意见需要是有理有据的；3，反对权威的途径需要是合理的。

讨论后的思路：把people进行分类。1，科学家在学界挑战权威是好的，因为科学正确与否没有定数，科学进步的过程就是在于不断地挑战权威，此属普遍现象；2，学生挑战老师是不好的，因为如此会紊乱学校运作；3，工人挑战工厂权威也是不好的，因为会破坏生产秩序。

规律和方法：1，定义问题专门拿一段出来写不合适；2，能用分类时尽量用分类的思路写文章，尤其是看到概括性的概念时，因为分类论述的可操作性强，而且可以stress complicity。按人（如：分为科学家、普通人）；按层面（如：在论述法律的作用时分为对于个人、企业、政府的不同层面）；按国家；按社会；3，写让步段时，必须强调在什么情况下对；在什么情况下错（即限定不同条件）

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

普林 发表于 2014-11-27 11:13
哈哈，simon老师很霸气啊~赞一个

感恩节后，收到回复

Hello Simon,

Your correspondence has been forwarded to the appropriate area for review.  We will contact you again once we have gathered the necessary information.

Thank you for your patience.

James Livingood
Product Manager
GRE-ETS

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-30 21:39
[11.30二战issue经验分享］虽然分数还没有出来，但还是想来论坛分享一下我的体会。
issue考题：54) In ord ...

家齐同学虽然加入小组时间不长，但却是组里最积极的同学。在她考前的3天，我们通过Skype语音讨论了大概15道issue题，针对她写的提纲和思路，我做出了点评，然后提出我自己的想法。她这两天会把我们的讨论内容整理出来，以issue为单位，发布到论坛上供大家参考。

通过我们这次的讨论，我总结出了一种新的辅导模式，现已要求Chiu, Claret, Mary, Lisa等几位组员，每人挑选10道issue题写提纲然后和我语音讨论，再以同样的方式将思路和讨论结果公开。相信在年内，我们就可以将149道issue全部分析一遍，明年春节前有望完成argument题库的分析。

家齐同学除了对比自己的思路和讨论后的思路外，还认真地尝试从讨论中提炼一些可以运用到其他题目中的思考方式，我认为这是一种很好的学习方法。所谓授人以鱼不如授人以渔，只有学习一些基本的思考方法，才能够独立解决GRE题库中乃至将来学习、生活中遇到的问题。

对我来说，GRE作文不仅仅是一次考试，而是一个思维训练的平台。和同学们讨论issue/argument的思路对我来说是一个十分享受的过程，一方面在交流中会碰撞出思想的火花（印象最深的就是和WY同学讨论issue74题时我想到的巧妙思路-42楼）；另一方面，看到学生在我的启发下恍然大悟，我也由衷地喜悦。

自03年任教华科外语学院，10年间我遇到太多不喜欢、不重视英语却被迫学英语的学生，这让我对大学英语教学彻底失望。来香港读博士，所教的本科生虽然英语基础不错，但是对写作的重视、对阅读的热情也远远不够。所幸的是，在寄托GRE作文作文版，我能遇到少数真正有心学习的同学，这是值得珍惜的缘分。很期待未来几周里和不同的组员就各道issue的讨论，包括那些到现在我还没能想好怎么写的题目，相信每一次讨论都有惊喜！

有兴趣和我讨论issue/argument思路的同学，请加我微信，账号和我的寄托ID相同。