GRE作文6分教学博客

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

cc271793784 发表于 2017-8-11 23:51
受益匪浅！谢谢老师！

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-2111401-1-1.html 请回复到这里

zhyyhzUID: 3813310

tesolchina 发表于 2015-4-4 20:39
The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To se ...

首先感谢老师介绍的理论和经验，非常非常受益！我想问下具体这篇文章。在本文里，老师提到了很多详细的所需要的证据，主体段落里的每一段都有不止一个证据，但是并没有像您分析Dr.Karp那篇范文一样，详细去写这个证据如何影响了argument. 这好像是一种不同的思路——指出更多的所需要的证据，但只是选少数几个展开论证？想听一下您的看法。谢谢！

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

zhyyhz 发表于 2017-8-19 17:12
首先感谢老师介绍的理论和经验，非常非常受益！我想问下具体这篇文章。在本文里，老师提到了很多详细的所 ...

在讨论证据如何影响论证方面我有的时候写得不够充分 在出版的书稿中我会做一些调整   印象中我考6分的那次篇幅应该比这里发的范文要长一些  

zhyyhzUID: 3813310

tesolchina 发表于 2017-8-19 21:30
在讨论证据如何影响论证方面我有的时候写得不够充分 在出版的书稿中我会做一些调整   印象中我考6分的那次 ...

感谢老师回复！

zhyyhzUID: 3813310

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-28 23:20
94 The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that cou ...

王老师好！关于94/147题，我最初的想法是“不同意，并论证为何well-being不是衡量leadership是否有效的最好指标”（提纲如下）。但是，有老师说这样子是跑题的，因为都没有提到leadership。我看到您的思路，也是着重讨论leadership，而不是公民的well-being. 您能解释一下为何我的想法是错误的吗？并且在以后如何避免理解错题目的重点？谢谢！

TS:Don't agree becuase well-being of a country's citizens is impossible to measure and it is not directly correlated with leadership.

ts1: impossible to measure, citizens' interests (well-being) contradict with each other
- immigrants ban. some happy some not

ts2: impossible to measure, no simple index
- Life span? Country with long life span but high suicide risk, people are not happy
- GDP? Country with high GDP but huge income gap, people are not happy

ts3：well-being is not highly influenced by leaders or policies
- a research showed that people's feelings of happiness are mostly influenced by personalities
- Hellen Keller had great success (well-being) but current policies for disabled are much better than her time.

LIXUANHANKUID: 3550273

感觉不错！！！！

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

zhyyhz 发表于 2017-9-1 15:51
王老师好！关于94/147题，我最初的想法是“不同意，并论证为何well-being不是衡量leadership是否有效的最 ...

impossible to measure well-being 这个说法是不成立的 或者说很难让人信服  联合国有一个千年发展计划 MDG 提出了几项目标 都是衡量老百姓福祉的指标  
至于你提的第三点说政府政策不能影响老百姓福祉 我觉得也不太合理 政府的责任就是服务老百姓啊   

zhyyhzUID: 3813310

tesolchina 发表于 2017-9-2 16:17
impossible to measure well-being 这个说法是不成立的 或者说很难让人信服  联合国有一个千年发展计划 M ...

嗯... 这个argument有可能没有说服力，但是我想问，从这个角度来写作文（主要讨论well-being而不是leadership），是不是跑题的呢？

aunpoUID: 3624806

赞赞赞，收藏下来慢慢看

我Me是个好人UID: 3724812

。

追梦人333UID: 3709661

有用

Utopia1993UID: 3752397

多谢王老师！！！

长长的冬瓜糖UID: 3817701

报分：9月3号考的 作文得了4分（考前15天写了5篇issue，4篇argument），查到这个成绩的时候无疑给当时面对写paper沮丧的我打了一针鸡血，首先要感谢王老师 无私的无偿作文小组活动，特别是3+1模型，给了我很大的启发。

考试的时候遇到的issue是讲的  人们不能从观点不同的人那学到更多 R：disagreement will cause stress and 阻止learning。 argument是要不要给12栋楼都采用低水压淋浴头

说实话，考前半个月作文简直把我逼疯了，前面花了很多时间在verbal上，作文其实也想写啊，但是每每看到issue的题目感觉 都没法破题（特别是政治类的题，本来就特别讨厌政治），加之想从北美范文中汲取营养，每每看到那种高大上的native speaker的6分范文，发现根本模仿不来还看都看不懂，就有点失落着急。这也给了我一个不好的 暗示，自己要写成那样才能拿高分（但是怎么可能做得到呢？有些文章感觉绕来绕去，看都看晕了，别说仿写）
后面问了王老师，王老师说让我放低要求，写清楚最重要，列提纲时列自己能写的~
这给了我很大的帮助，然后我开始看王老师的范文，发现王老师的思路很清晰，很有学习的地方~
通过这次考试拿到4分（也有运气成分，没考到最怕的政治啊腐败啊类似的），我感觉GRE作文也不需要华丽的句式，华丽的词汇，在考场上真的是啥好词好句都想不到了，用的是本能反应的句式，所以和托福写作一样，我感觉我写的特别low（当时感觉只有2.5分，因为从考前几次练习来看 误打 的错误会很多），针对本次issue 我的观点是对于不同学科背景的人， 不同的观点会阻碍进步，因为没法有common topics; However,对于debate，有助于得出新理解：对于group discussion，能获得新知识，learn more from others。 每一段基本上都会给出概括性TS, 然后简单推理一下，最后举例子，加总结。举例子也没有用具体的例子（考前花了大量时间去找例子😂），就是说了在debate中怎么怎么样，group discussion中怎么怎么样~

argument 感觉要平时自己归纳有哪些逻辑错误，写属于自己的模板，多破题，但是语言感觉也是本能反应，根本没时间去想要怎么用从句，用哪些高大上词汇，还是应证了王老师说的那句话：写自己能写的，把话说清楚，我感觉我这次4分应该是更多归功于argument吧

我的一些体会吧：4分其实并没有那么难，看王老师的范文就足够了~ 还有一直纠结评分标准中观点要深刻的同学真的可以回头了（考前列提纲时一直想着这一点导致提纲花了很多时间都想不出深刻的3个观点，列出来了也不会展开，超出了自己的语言、积累范围），我到查分前都认为上述issue中 3个点 都是low到爆，根本没有一点深度，ETS还是很仁慈的:hug:

最后再次谢谢王老师！~祝王老师学业顺利，生活幸福！~

littledevil009UID: 3714811

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-28 10:59
51)  Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immedia ...

Compared with old times, young men today are faced with unpreceded temptations and stimulus to pursue short-term and myopic goals, such as attaining fame and wealth in one night rather than immerse themselves into fighting for long-term and more realistic goals by working hard and achieve success step by step. However, fame and recognition are built on the foundation of real ability and talent gained by constant practice. Dreams will only be dreams if you don’t try your best to make them come true. Thus, as educators like parents and teacher, it is more essential and urgent for them to encourage young people while looking upwards to the beautiful starry sky and keep hope for the possibly brilliant future, at the same time to be down-to-earth and make a long-term plan for their future.

Some people might argue that if once you have fame and recognition, it won’t be that hard to achieve what you intend to achieve, as fame and recognition are like “social currency”, you could use them to exchange for something you want. For example, Movie stars can get fortune by taking up some ads and propaganda for some brands. From common people’s perspective, whenever they need money to purchase their luxurious houses and conspicuous jewelries, there will be some rich business man initially offer a chance for them to grab the money only asking for a few photos or less than one-minute videos in which they play the main role. They can exchange their fame and recognition for things they want because people trust in or have a respect for them. But how do they get people’s trust and respect? Fame and recognition do not just fall on one’s head like Newton’s apple. They are gained by persistent efforts on some desirable things. Take fame of movie stars for example, in order to gain attention from the viewers, build up the fans group, and expand personal influence, and finally become famous and popular, they have to first look for and treasure every chance to play in a film, put their efforts into play the role, touch people’s heart by resonate their feelings, and even devote themselves into charity and show their love for the weak in their spare time. All these hard work are directed to a long-term goal: at first, being a better man or woman. And fame and recognition will come to you with the accomplishment of the long-term goal, and should not be the main goal.

Dreaming about fame and recognition is useless unless you take down-to-earth actions to fight for them. In this sense, long-term goal is more important, as once they have been achieved to an extremely high extent, fame and recognition will accompany. Further, due to the fact that everyone want to get acceptance and praises from others, it is human nature to put the goal of attaining fame and recognition from others beyond the longevity-oriented and realistic goal. So even if not encouraged to pursue fame and recognition, people will have a natural desire for them. Put a step forward, as educators, it is more necessary to put more emphasize on motivating young people to seek the fulfillment of long-term, realistic goals as it is more difficult for young people to realize the importance of pursing long-term goal.

Surrounded and occupied by social media, it is easier for people to attain fame and recognition than any time before. But we should admit, fame and recognition not always benefit us if they are won in an illegitimate way. For instance, people who earn honor and respect from others by bragging and telling unrealistic lies about themselves might be afraid to be exposed to the public every day. And they might even be put into court and jail if they use this mendacious fame to get fortune which do not belong to them. Fame and recognition are like drugs, enjoyable, delicious but harmful to one’s mentality and lethal for one’s body if not earned in a legitimate and just approach. Young people should be told this point and be persuaded to come down to the earth and work hard, not be stranded in this quandary.

As far as I am concerned, although attaining fame among a small group of people is natural and less effort-demanding if you are really good at one aspect. For example, if you play well in basketball and always a team leader in your school basketball team, it is inevitable to become famous among your campus. But if you want fame all over the country, learning how to present yourself and build up personal brand is also necessary. For example, some less famous actors take part in some reality show to present a variety of aspects of different themselves to the public and attract more eyeballs. What’s more, fame and recognition are helpful for some career, thus, they are worthy of deliberate efforts. For example, sports player often end their career at a very young age, and without fame and recognition achieved through early success, they will lose a lot of opportunities to move upwards and assistance from significant others. Chinese tennis play Na Li is a typical example, without attaining fame and recognition from sports experts in her country through winning some local, provincial and national games, she won’t have the chance to play on the international games and get constructive advices from professional and outstanding tennis coaches, and as a result, she won’t be as successful as she is now in her career life.

In conclusion, long-term, realistic goals and short-term goals targeted at fame and recognition are not contradictory and mutually exclusive, but closely associated and dependent on each other. Without efforts in accomplishing realistic goals and down-to-earth hard work, people will not gain fame and recognition in a legitimate and long-standing way. And if you don’t learn how to present and sell yourself to the public, you can not get enough resources and support from others to achieve a bigger dream. As educators, we should try to encourage young people focus more on long-term and realistic goals because pursuit for short-term goal of fame is more near to human nature, and without the foundation of real ability and talents, fame will be poisonous and won’t last long.

Cassie__DongUID: 3599981

提纲练习0924：

1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.



Intro: Tech development - problem-solving in past 100 years, yes.

The thesis statement: Not agree - tech helps thinking and man can think independently

Argument 1: Tech does not undermine thinking ability. (1) The human being is more developed than 100 years ago with the booming of new tech innovations which generate from creative thinking. *Car. *Airconditioning. *Science/Psychological experiment with fMRI in cognitive psych - a brilliant way of understanding the human brain. (2) We are putting more money into tech research that might lead to more advanced tech in the future, which means we are considering/thinking to rely more on new tech. *Electronic car - green tech consumption - smart because we are thinking about the long-term gain and loss instead of pursuing efficiency solely. *AI.

Argument 2: On the contrary, tech improves thinking by free people from bootless labor work. (1)Some time-consuming work such as longtime travel is not meaningful. Elon Musk's hyper tube might solve this problem and save us more time to focus on studying... (2) Robert also leads the industry go to the zero-man production model which provides the condition for people to think for themselves. A man could only think for himself when his physiological needs and security needs are satisfied according to humanism psychologist Abraham Maslow...

Argument 3: Tech is created by man because man can think independently. (1) This trait is inherent based on the human gene and (2) the will of independent thinking could not easily be demoralized. *The gene that distinguishes man from ape. *Gene engineering - to better think for ourselves. *Challenging - Going to Mars.

Conclusion: Tech helps man to think for themselves and will go on doing so because it's what people want.