issue 30 机井题，第一次限时完成，还有三分钟检查，感动啊～大家帮忙砸一砸！

SRVUID: 157299

30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."

In the last century, the human technological advancement was significant and brilliant. I concede that the primary goal of technology advancement should be to increase people's efficiency, but I can not agree with the speaker's comment that the increasing efficiency is for the more leisure time for people. I will demonstrate my point of view using some rational reasons below.

First of all, it is sure that the technology will enhance the people's efficiency. In last century, many inventions which are now some indispensable tools and forcefully increase the efficiency of people's daily life were manufactured by scientists and engineers. Airplane, which was first imagined by Brother Laret, now make the earth turn to a village. It greatly shorten the distance of two nations which are even in different hemisphere. Nowadays, people can have a trip from America to China only in one day, the airplane save the business men much time in order to make them obtain more opportunities. Another great technological advancement in the last twenty years, the computer and the internet, also did a lot contribution to human. For example, if a student in China wants to get in touch with a professor in America, what he has to do is just sending an e-mail to the professor's e-mail box. Technology saves much time for people, and it is undoubtedly that the technology advancement increases the efficiency of people.

However, the main responsibility of technology is to give people a more wonderful life as the Nokia ‘s slogan:" technology depends on human.", but the ultimate goal is not give people more leisure time. For instance, the washing machine which is invented in the last century, entirely liberate the women from the heavy housework. Due to its contribution, women become more independent and active and now, in some extent, have the same status as men. If people only want to get more leisure time with the help of technology, it will make people lazy and corrupt. The actual purpose of the technology is unfettering people from the daily works and people can have more time to do things which is more significant.

In addition, some technology advancement probably can not ensure people a higher efficiency but waste people more leisure time. As a matter of fact, the traffic jam, which happens in most of the international metropolis, attribute to the technology advancement of automobile. Though people can drive cars or jeeps to everywhere they want, but if there is a traffic jam, somebody will waste several hours, even half a day on the road. The advancement of automobile does not make people’s efficiency increased, sometimes, even causes you late for the morning meeting. Moreover, the internet nowadays is a necessary tool within people's work, but when you open up your e-mail box, there are always some garbage email in your mail box which waste you ten or more minutes per day. Therefore, technology do not as the speaker's assertion that it will give people more leisure time, whereas sometimes reduce it.

To sum up, I admit that development of technology surely increase the efficiency of people, but the primary goal of technology is not to endow people with more leisure time but a more happy and healthy lives.   

一限时感觉很多词汇不能细琢磨，不过这也反应了真实水平，脱离了金山词霸还有以前总结得那些资料，写起来还是比较幼稚得感觉，大家帮忙看看，这是我得第10篇。

jianguoUID: 157933

我接了，一会看。呵呵！

sniper613UID: 147372

wait for a moment

SRVUID: 157299

谢谢两位兄弟！

江米团儿脑袋UID: 158996

洗衣机的那个例子不太明白？？我太笨没看懂～～
针对没有带来 leisure time再举典型的例子～现代化的交通和通讯使人们的生活节奏加快
无形的延长了8小时的工作时间，（比如因为网络，cell phone的关系，下班还有事情处理)
私人空间少了，反而更紧张。

SRVUID: 157299

洗衣机那个例子忘了在那里看到了，就是说洗衣机得发明解放了妇女，从而引发了女权主义运动。你说得例子都很好啊，我当初写提纲得时候还想了，一限时就忘了，呵呵，再浩浩谢谢你这机个例子谢谢江米团～（是不是跟菜丸子是姐妹啊？：）

sniper613UID: 147372

30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."

In the last century,（那这个世纪呢？科技进步的更快吧，改成in the modern world） the human technological advancement was significant and brilliant. I concede that the primary goal of technology advancement should be to increase people's efficiency, but I can not agree with the speaker's comment that the increasing efficiency is for the more leisure time for people.(我不确定哈，但是我对题目的理解是科技进步是为了提高效率，因此人们有了更多空闲时间。但是提高效率的目的不是更多时间，导致的结果是更多空闲时间，目的和结果有细微的区别，我先好好体会一下) I will demonstrate my point of view using some rational reasons below.

First of all, it is sure that the technology will enhance the people's efficiency. In last century, many inventions which are now some indispensable tools and forcefully increase the efficiency of people's daily life were manufactured by scientists and engineers. Airplane, which was first imagined by Brother Laret, now make the earth turn to a village. It greatly shortens the distance of two nations which are even in different hemisphere. Nowadays, people can have a trip from America to China only in one day, the airplane save the business men much time in order to make them obtain more opportunities.（再延伸一下，你只说了节省时间，应该再从节省时间推到提高效率上去） Another great technological advancement in the last twenty years, the computer and the internet, also did a lot contribution to human. For example, if a student in China wants to get in touch with a professor in America, what he has to do is just sending an e-mail to the professor's e-mail box. Technology saves much time for people, and it is undoubtedly that the technology advancement increases the efficiency of people. （两个例子同样的问题，把你的例子推到结论上去，就是效率提高。什么节省时间，为人类贡献之类的只能是作为中间过渡）

However, the main responsibility of technology is to give people a more wonderful life as the Nokia ‘s slogan:" technology depends on human.", but the ultimate goal is not （to）give people more leisure time. For instance, the washing machine which is invented in the last century, entirely liberate the women from the heavy housework. Due to its contribution, women become more independent and active and now（！！！！！洗衣机使妇女地位提高！！！？？？）, in some extent, have the same status as men. If people only want to get more leisure time with the help of technology, it will make people lazy and corrupt. The actual purpose of the technology is unfettering people from the daily works and people can have more time to do things which is more significant.（你的例子恰恰证明了科技进步使人们有了更多的空闲时间啊！）

In addition, some technology advancement probably can not ensure people a higher efficiency but waste people more leisure time. As a matter of fact, the traffic jam, which happens in most of the international metropolis, attribute to the technology advancement of automobile（你的推论怎么都这么武断阿，都是写过argument的人，想象如果你来批驳你的这个论点，怎么说？还有道路问题，规划问题，人口因素，意外事故等等，）. Though people can drive cars or jeeps to everywhere they want, but if there is a traffic jam, somebody will waste several hours, even half a day on the road. The advancement of automobile does not make people’s efficiency increased, sometimes, even causes you late for the morning meeting. Moreover, the internet nowadays is a necessary tool within people's work, but when you open up your e-mail box, there are always some garbage email in your mail box which waste you ten or more minutes per day. Therefore, technology do not as the speaker's assertion that it will give people more leisure time, whereas sometimes reduce it.
（对于leisure time 理解上有问题啊，交通堵塞浪费的就是leisure time? 人们的节假日，下班以后的时间算是leisure time， 你可以举这样的例子，很多白领下班之后往往要加班，日本就有很多这样的情况，在外企也有这样的事。）
To sum up, I admit that development of technology surely increase the efficiency of people, but the primary goal of technology is not to endow people with more leisure time but a more happy and healthy lives.

另外可以分析一下为什么科技进步，效率提高，人们的leisure time反而有减少的趋势。比如生活节奏加快之类的。

SRVUID: 157299

谢谢sniper兄，我得body3是需要改易改，限时我就紧张，很多例子就brainstorming啦，来不及多想啊sniper你现在都限时写嘛？

song123456UID: 133578

最初由 sniper613 发布
[B]30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."

In the last century,（那?.

以下省略...... [/B]

同意sinper 的观点 body34 的论证要好好考虑一下
另外题目中leisure time应该理解为结果

springyUID: 122511

30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."

In the last century, the human technological advancement(人类科技进步，是在限时情况下直接翻译过来的吧？表达是否准确建议查证一下) was significant and brilliant. I concede that the primary goal of technology advancement should be to increase people's efficiency, but I can not agree with the speaker's comment that the increasing efficiency is for the more leisure time for people. I will demonstrate my point of view using some rational reasons below.（开头亮出明确的观点，虽然因为限时没有什么漂亮的句式，不过我认为简单明了也是优秀的英文表达，至少这一段看得毫不费力，不需要借助于金山词霸）

First of all, it is sure that the technology will enhance the people's efficiency. In last century, many inventions which（此句太长了，inventions, which） are now some indispensable tools and forcefully increase the efficiency of people's daily life were manufactured by scientists and engineers. Airplane, which was first imagined by Brother Laret（莱特？正确的翻译是什么？）, now make the earth turn to a village（ 疑改成to be a village更好）. It greatly shorten（shortens） the distance of two nations which are even in different hemisphere. Nowadays, people can have a trip from America to China only in one day, the airplane save the business men much time in order to make them obtain more opportunities. Another great technological advancement in the last twenty years, the computer and the internet, also did a lot (of)contribution to human. For example, if a student in China wants to get in touch with a professor in America, what he has to do is just sending an e-mail to the professor's e-mail box. Technology saves much time for people, and it is undoubtedly that the technology advancement increases the efficiency of people. (
为了说明效率提高，此段可采用对比，在飞机那个例子上用了对比，我认为如果在举网络的例子时也对比一下过去就更好了）

However, the main responsibility of technology is to give people a more wonderful life as the Nokia ‘s slogan:" technology （大写）depends on human.", but（？？“而不是”就用not to,因为你前面有is to可以并列） the ultimate goal is not give people more leisure time. For instance, the washing machine which is invented in the last century, entirely liberate the women from the heavy housework. Due to its contribution, women become more independent and active and now, in some extent, have the same status as men.（洗衣机的例子是合适的，但是加上这一句就夸大了它的作用。记得有一片gre阅读是讲厨房设备和机器如何解放了妇女，我觉得你不能说单单一个洗衣机的贡献大到如此，而是要说，类似于洗衣机的各种家电设备、厨房设备的发明彻底改变了妇女的生活） If people only want to get more leisure time with the help of technology, will make people lazy and corrupt. The actual purpose of the technology is unfettering（时态不对） people from the daily works and people can have more time to do things which is more significant.你需要再加强论证，说明妇女因为从家务中解放出来，从而有了进修和工作的时间和机会）

In addition, some technology advancement probably can not ensure people a higher efficiency but waste people more leisure time. （这个观点在篇首没有提到，有点突兀）As a matter of fact, the traffic jam, which happens in most of the international metropolis, attribute to the technology advancement of automobile. Though people can drive cars or jeeps to（去掉） everywhere they want, but （语法错误）if there is a traffic jam, somebody will waste several hours, even half a day on the road. The advancement of automobile does not make people’s efficiency increased, sometimes, even causes you late for the morning meeting. （交通堵塞是科技带来的还是管理带来的？我看本来就值得讨论，坦白的说其实我对这一段的观点是并不看好的，看看能否自圆其说吧）Moreover, the internet nowadays is a necessary tool within people's work, but when you open up your e-mail box, there are always some garbage email in your mail box which waste you ten or more minutes per day. Therefore, technology do not （，）as the speaker's assertion（ that it will去掉）（，） give people more leisure time, whereas sometimes reduce it.

To sum up, I admit that development of technology surely increase（increases） the efficiency of people, but the primary goal of technology is not to endow people with more leisure time but a more happy and healthy lives. (结尾的表达也很清楚)

纵观全文，我觉得逻辑还是清楚的，语言表达也算清晰。关于科技给人带来的时间浪费虽然论证还不够透，但是也有说服力。我想在最后几分钟的检查中， in addition的那个观点是不是要马上添进篇首的总观点，这样承接更好。有一些语法错误，不过应该能改出来。在论证上我看逻辑还要严密一点，就是中间那个两段，还大有东西可挖的。第一篇限时能这样我觉得不错了，继续努力！